AngryGromit Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 (edited) On 1/6/2022 at 3:56 PM, GloriaDaisy said: I dont smoke at all. Yesterday there was a big cloud of smoke billowing in my face and I reacted with coughing and trying to wave it out of my face. Sometimes the smoke is just really strong and hard to be around. When you say a big cloud of smoke, did he take a puff and exhale towards you? If that the case, doesn't matter if it's Weed, cigar or cigarettes', it a huge sign of disrespect to blow smoke into your face. If your OK with him smoking, fine, but he shouldn't be trying to get you to smoke too. It's your right if you don't want to smoke, he should have enough consideration to minimize the second smoke for you if he really gives a damn about you. Edited January 10, 2022 by AngryGromit 1
AngryGromit Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 On 1/9/2022 at 7:52 AM, Calmandfocused said: Op why did you agree to date someone who smokes weed in the first place? I agree. I would never date someone who does drugs, doesn't how smoking hot they are. Not sure how you two met, but if it was online, when I was dating my profile always said no drugs. 2
Author GloriaDaisy Posted January 10, 2022 Author Posted January 10, 2022 On 1/9/2022 at 9:11 AM, Acacia98 said: If you're dating someone who smokes (weed or nicotine) and they're originally very considerate about not smoking next to you, pay attention when they start filling shared spaces with smoke, forcing you to inhale it. That's contempt, plain and simple. It's time to walk away with your dignity intact. All the other stuff he's done fits in with the idea that he's stopped caring about you. that is the crazy thing! when we first met, he didnt smoke around me at all. even the first time i went to his house, he said he wanted to make sure the house didnt smell like pot for me. I did tell him i wanted him to feel comfortable, and i was accepting about it because a lot of my family smokes pot. But then time went on, as it was us hanging out in his room watching movies and him chain smoking joints. sometimes it became very strong . so yeah he did change his tune a bit.
Author GloriaDaisy Posted January 10, 2022 Author Posted January 10, 2022 On 1/9/2022 at 4:35 AM, chillii said: Were you being all those things though and what about before you could no longer get a word in. My partners 51 and as cool as she is, she also has absolutely no idea of what a nag she can be. But that was just my first question l'm not sticking up for your bf, getting to that. On his weed , you probably are on his case about it it's very common in gf;s to be on their bf;s case about all kinds of things, but just bc you don;t approve means nothing really , that's you, but he likes his weed and that's him. On the way he acted yeah of course , sounds like he went off way over board. But l also wonder if your aware of how far and how often you go with him or push him to do this or not do that or trying to change him. Bc many women have no idea and when they tell the story they're mother Teresa. not even sure how to acknowledge this ideology. yikes.
Author GloriaDaisy Posted January 10, 2022 Author Posted January 10, 2022 thanks to everyone that responded. i read everyone's comment and it helped validate the situation. unfortunately, we broke up the next day due to another argument. I have to admit deep down i am sad but also accepting this was not meant to be. I have also learned that i cannot date someone that is high 24/7...its not reality, and theres too many issues to face with someone that is a pot head and i am not. 6
Author GloriaDaisy Posted January 10, 2022 Author Posted January 10, 2022 7 hours ago, AngryGromit said: When you say a big cloud of smoke, did he take a puff and exhale towards you? If that the case, doesn't matter if it's Weed, cigar or cigarettes', it a huge sign of disrespect to blow smoke into your face. If your OK with him smoking, fine, but he shouldn't be trying to get you to smoke too. It's your right if you don't want to smoke, he should have enough consideration to minimize the second smoke for you if he really gives a damn about you. no , he was just sitting in his chair smoking it while watching tv. I walked towards his chair to grab something and it wafted in my face.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 4 hours ago, GloriaDaisy said: unfortunately, Fortunately, we broke up the next day due to another argument. Fixed that for you. This was clearly not a match and not going to work. It's best that it's all over now. 5
ShyViolet Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 5 hours ago, GloriaDaisy said: thanks to everyone that responded. i read everyone's comment and it helped validate the situation. unfortunately, we broke up the next day due to another argument. I have to admit deep down i am sad but also accepting this was not meant to be. I have also learned that i cannot date someone that is high 24/7...its not reality, and theres too many issues to face with someone that is a pot head and i am not. "Unfortunately"? Yeah, no. This guy is a loser. On to better things. 1
chillii Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 On 1/10/2022 at 1:26 AM, ASG said: Wow... Way to victim blame, here. It honestly doesn't even matter if she "nags" him. She waved smoke away from her face, he went ballistic and when she tried ti express that she felt hurt by his reaction, he doubled down on it. That's what matters here. His reaction. And how he's unable to talk through issues without blowing up in her face. Everything else is moot. Maybe it is as simple as that , who knows we only have one version. Not sticking up for him, victimizing or blaming anyone l wasn't there, just mentioning possibilities.
IrinaM Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 gloria i am glad to read you two broke up. i think maybe he was trying to "pick a fight," to get you to dump him. Sometimes men (also women) do this when they want to exit a relationship, or they're cheating and want to be with the other person. this way, if they ever want you back, they can come lyk that they "forgive" you for being so mean or whatever. it just seems pretty ridiculous that he went off on you for not wanting smoke in your face. like that hurt his feelings somehow. it just doesn't seem authentic. i'm glad you have moved on because you deserve better. 2
Wiseman2 Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 13 hours ago, GloriaDaisy said: , we broke up the next day due to another argument. Ok, you dodged a bullet and learned some new things. That is be very resolute about red flags and deal breakers. If something is an issue, don't even get started with that person. 2
Free Butterfly Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 Get out. Fast. Speaking from experience, this will get worse. He is abusive, he gaslights you. Please read more about emotional abuse. Knowledge is power. Take care.
ASG Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 8 hours ago, chillii said: Maybe it is as simple as that , who knows we only have one version. Not sticking up for him, victimizing or blaming anyone l wasn't there, just mentioning possibilities. But you are. The thing is, it doesn't even natter if she nags him or not. What he did was not ok and that is the only thing that matters in this thread. Who cares if she was on his case about the smoke or not?! Him blowing up in her face because she expressed feelings is a massive red flag and that's the crux. You continue to victim blame. This is exactly like the people who react to a rape with "well, we don't know what she was wearing or how drunk she was" and if you don't understand how bad that is, then you have a big problem going on.
Dis Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 (edited) On 1/9/2022 at 10:19 AM, Gaeta said: This is the tip of the iceburg. This man is showing you he's abusive and narcisist, beleive him. Yes break up!! I had an ex who would respond very disproportionately to anything I said/did that he didn't like. He was lashing in the way he'd respond to me just stating how I felt. It got to the point where I walked on egg shells as not to upset him It's called abuse Leave now Edited January 14, 2022 by Dis 1
Author GloriaDaisy Posted January 14, 2022 Author Posted January 14, 2022 id like to take the time to thanks everyone for their support. it helped me. i am seeing things clearly after a few days has gone by. I found he was doing criminal activity and possibily precuing other women while we were together. I am so grateful it ended now and not 6 months from now. I am trying to be more clear, being resolute about deal breakers and reading into relationships better. early on issues need to be cut off sooner than later 3 2
Recommended Posts