jdesey Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 (edited) I’ll say it again. As a man in my mid-50s “the juice ain’t worth the squeeze“ latest connection on match.com is going fine with the messages. I ask if she’d like to meet and see if we click. To that she says she wants to have several phone conversations first. I don’t even have the energy to respond much less go through some kind of interview to eventually get on a date. just last month I played this game. Had a 90 minute wonderful phone call with the woman. Yes 90 minutes is crazy but the time just flew by. She ends up ghosting me and we never get together. I think I’m gonna get a golden retriever and be done with this [ ] Edited January 6, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language
divegrl Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 Goldens are beautiful!!! You should get one. Also, stop using the dating apps…. Lots of people meet at dog parks! Take care. 3
ccas93 Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 agreed with the first response. the dog park is better. online more often than not you're going to get people who suck mental and emotional energy from you and then just move on. it gets really exhausting. 1
Cali Lisa Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 I met my last few exes online. It's just another place to meet people. Unfortunately, you don't know who's single and who's not on a dating site. Many people browse while in relationships. People wouldn't dress up and go out alone when they live with someone. They can totally BS you, so keep your eyes open and be patient. Love will come.
glows Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 I don’t think a vast majority know how to date unfortunately. Hopefully you didn’t mention the juice line to her.
Cali Lisa Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 11 minutes ago, glows said: I don’t think a vast majority know how to date unfortunately. Hopefully you didn’t mention the juice line to her. I think the squeeze is the dating and the juice is the relationship. I don't know what's worse. But I know that not drinking juice is perfectly comfortable.
basil67 Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 There are no dating rules. Each does what they feel comfortable with. If what they are comfortable with is different to us, then it's not a match 1
Wiseman2 Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 4 hours ago, jdesey said: . I don’t even have the energy to respond much less go through some kind of interview to eventually get on a date. Ok, if you are feeling burned out, take a break from OLD. If someone wants a call first, that's fine. But keep it brief. Try to redirect messaging and calls to "let's meet for coffee" . 2
Blind-Sided Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok, if you are feeling burned out, take a break from OLD. If someone wants a call first, that's fine. But keep it brief. Try to redirect messaging and calls to "let's meet for coffee" . This exactly. You are allowing yourself to get burnt out. I understand that people can be cautious... but there is no reason to feel unsafe if you are meeting for a morning coffee in public. But... as said above... there are people who use dating sites just because they want to talk to people, and don't really want to "Date". Edited January 6, 2022 by Blind-Sided 1
Cali Lisa Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 1 hour ago, Blind-Sided said: This exactly. You are allowing yourself to get burnt out. I understand that people can be cautious... but there is no reason to feel unsafe if you are meeting for a morning coffee in public. But... as said above... there are people who use dating sites just because they want to talk to people, and don't really want to "Date". Unsafe? Where did you get that?
chillii Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 (edited) Dog and parks aren't a bad idea actually op. Back in the day though l found wide variations in ways different women did things, similar age, 40s to early 50s. l knew for fact any l spoke to were single but it was anything, emailing for wks, calling 5mins after a reply, to cooking me tea next night, to acting like they were a scared little girl and stalling, to 3 or 4 emails and then calling, to no calling boom wanna grab coffee to suspicious of every word and anything else you'd think of. Mind you that was my one and only short stint on date sites but it seemed just expect it all and roll with it. l'd take a break walk that dog, maybe try again later on, no expectations. Edited January 6, 2022 by chillii
Weezy1973 Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 You’re going to have to change your expectations for online dating. Most of the time things aren’t going to turn into a date, and most dates aren’t going to turn into relationships. You don’t have to jump through hoops. Just be yourself. If you don’t want to talk on the phone, just let her know it isn’t a match and move on. It’s just a numbers game. 1
Blind-Sided Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 2 hours ago, Cali Lisa said: Unsafe? Where did you get that? I didn't... but this thread, and his other, have said how women have been wanting to talk "To get to know him" before meeting. (It was based off an assumption) He is burning out because he's jumping through hoops, and not even getting a first date. 1
Gaeta Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 I've been to dog parks for 10+ years and never came across a suitable single man. Most men there were sent by their wife to walk the dog. Online dating is brutal. If you want to try it than accept that from the start. I was online 3 years, over 200 first meeting before coming across my ex. I went back online last summer, met 15 men, all weirdos. It is what it is. You roll with it, or you don't do it.
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 11 hours ago, jdesey said: I’ll say it again. As a man in my mid-50s “the juice ain’t worth the squeeze“ latest connection on match.com is going fine with the messages. I ask if she’d like to meet and see if we click. To that she says she wants to have several phone conversations first. I don’t even have the energy to respond much less go through some kind of interview to eventually get on a date. just last month I played this game. Had a 90 minute wonderful phone call with the woman. Yes 90 minutes is crazy but the time just flew by. She ends up ghosting me and we never get together. I think I’m gonna get a golden retriever and be done with this [ ] I don't blame a woman for wanting to get a sense of who a man is by having a few phone conversations before meeting, if this is what she needs to feel comfortable. It can be a dangerous world for women. In order to be successful at internet dating, you will have to see each woman you meet as an individual being. Don't blame one woman for the actions of another. Do you like being blamed for what some jerk did to a woman in the past? A bitter attitude is a turn off in dating. 6
Els Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 You... realize that having a dog takes work too, right? Besides the fact that it's pretty weird to compare dating with owning a dog (I mean, seriously, what's up with that??), the simple truth is that anything worth having in life takes some work. It's obviously up to you whether you perceive the work to be worth it. 4
Happy Lemming Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 15 hours ago, divegrl said: Also, stop using the dating apps…. I agree with @divegrl stop using the dating apps and go out into the real world and meet people. Are there any local (neighborhood) pubs in your area?? 1
Weezy1973 Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 57 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I agree with @divegrl stop using the dating apps and go out into the real world and meet people. Are there any local (neighborhood) pubs in your area?? I wouldn’t stop using the apps, just don’t rely on them solely. Half of all relationships start through online apps these days so adding them to the “old fashioned way” gives the best of all worlds. The apps aren’t the problem. Unrealistic expectations about the apps are the problem. 2
chillii Posted January 7, 2022 Posted January 7, 2022 (edited) 14 hours ago, Gaeta said: I've been to dog parks for 10+ years and never came across a suitable single man. Most men there were sent by their wife to walk the dog. Online dating is brutal. If you want to try it than accept that from the start. I was online 3 years, over 200 first meeting before coming across my ex. I went back online last summer, met 15 men, all weirdos. It is what it is. You roll with it, or you don't do it. Haaa same my sister, and she's got two dogs haha. l've never actually walked a dog in a park, it sounded like an idea though . But l use to walk mine down the beach all the time, met dozens of people. Edited January 7, 2022 by chillii
Author jdesey Posted January 7, 2022 Author Posted January 7, 2022 OK will do some phone calls with this woman. But like other side keep it brief and tell her let’s meet for coffee 3
Happy Lemming Posted January 7, 2022 Posted January 7, 2022 @jdesey Let me ask you a question... If you had a power tool and it shocked you every time you used it, you'd stop using it... right?? Well it appears every interaction on these "on line dating" sites seems to cause you angst, so stop using them. Go out into the "real world" and meet people. Many years ago, I did (briefly) try "on line dating" and (like you) it caused me great angst. The few women that actually showed up for an arranged date had used (10 year old pictures or photo-shop pictures or pictures when they were 50 pounds lighter) for their profile. I went back to meeting people in "real life". I was much happier.
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