Would you marry a stripper or hooker?

[Rico3]

9 hours ago, stillafool said:

Would you still want to help her if she was 41?

Yes

[Rico3]

2 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

Well if you think you need to repair someone then that's the first red flag.

Does she want to stop stripping?  Having a successful relationship is about accepting that person for what they are and supporting them if *they* want to change.  If she changes it will be her decision and not because you wanted it.  You can work on fixing her all you want, it won't mean anything because it's her decision.

She's 20, realistically speaking she's in the prime earning potential years for her.  Do you have the means to support her if she leaves that life?   Depending on her location she can make perhaps $200 or more a night for 4-5 nights a week?  Can you afford to replace that income?

She has told me she wants to stop several times. But I think she’s not very trusting so she’s taking her time in getting to know me first. She is slowly opening up. 
 

she’s already tried getting a job at a pet hotel. She loves dogs. But recently got fired. 
 

she might makes hundreds of dollars a night be she has nothing to show for it. She’s dirt poor right now. So anything I have now will be an upgrade for her. 

[smackie9]

You should get in touch with social services and charities to see if she can go in a transition house to get herself off the streets, teach her life skills, and have proper counseling to deal with her past. The thing is, she has to want to change, you can't make her.

[dramafreezone]

2 hours ago, AngryGromit said:

I think your way off in income estimates, the typical work week is 4 days a week, 6 hours a night, generally pay is around $400 minimum a shift, but that can vary widely, depending on the city and club. Some NYC strippers make 600k a year, but those that are the most attractive women and on top of there game.  Actually figures are tough to come by, given it's a cash business, most I think are under reporting there income to the IRS.   

 

I went with much more conservative estimates because I didn't see the OP mention that he lives in NYC and that this woman is likely not at the top of the exotic dancing industry if she's looking to get out. 

[AngryGromit]

1 hour ago, Rico3 said:

she might makes hundreds of dollars a night be she has nothing to show for it. She’s dirt poor right now. So anything I have now will be an upgrade for her. 

I will have to admit strippers took a beating due to Covid. When you making $1,000+ a week, a good part of it unreported, to making nothing. Things go south real quick. Add to that limited unemployment benefits, since if your not reporting your usual income, the state is going to give you minimal unemployment benefits. Some of them shifted over to web based stripping / adult  chat video sites.  But I'm sure that adding 30k+ unemployed strippers to these web sites didn't help the income levels for all involved. After all there only so big of a client base and given a lot of other people were affected during the lockdown, I'm sure it was an expense many had to eliminate.  I'm sure she is carrying a mountain of debt due to the lockdown, and the way things are going, another lockdown is in the future soon. 

As one stripper put it, it's tough to make money when you have to maintain 6 feet of separation. How about a lap dance.... from 6 feet away from you.    

Edited January 5, 2022 by AngryGromit

[Rico3]

3 hours ago, smackie9 said:

You should get in touch with social services and charities to see if she can go in a transition house to get herself off the streets, teach her life skills, and have proper counseling to deal with her past. The thing is, she has to want to change, you can't make her.

She told me she already has a counselor. I asked her what have they said about me and she just got quiet and blushed. 

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Rico3 said:

She told me she already has a counselor. I asked her what have they said about me and she just got quiet and blushed. 

Oh dear.  She sounds far to vulnerable to be getting into this weird 1:1 situation with you.

[jdesey]

I sort of have experience with those. My first girlfriend after my divorce had been a stripper in her 20s. When I met her she was 34 and I was going on 40. She was a complete train wreck. And it was standard for her to use men to get what she wanted. And she was always using her great luxe and body to do so. It was a nightmare and she was a horrible girlfriend 

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Rico3 said:

She might makes hundreds of dollars a night be she has nothing to show for it. She’s dirt poor right now. 

Does she use drugs? 

[Cali Lisa]

You sound very serious about flipping this girl. Does she know you exist?

[Cali Lisa]

12 hours ago, Rico3 said:

she might makes hundreds of dollars a night be she has nothing to show for it. She’s dirt poor right now. So anything I have now will be an upgrade for her. 

Oh, my God, she doesn't want you! The upgrade would come with a dude she doesn't care about.

[Rico3]

6 hours ago, Cali Lisa said:

You sound very serious about flipping this girl. Does she know you exist?

Yes, we've been hanging out outside her profession. And she texts me every day.

[understand50]

OK,

Historically, Many Great Grandmothers in the old west started out as soiled doves, (prostitutes)  and were able to marry, as women in general were short supply.  (See Wyatt Erp's  wife(s) as an example).   So historically, this can work out.  BUT, this is not the wild west.  I think you need to look long and hard before you start a serious relationship, and make sure she want to change.  Really change.  Everyone can remake themselves, it can be a hard road, but it can be done.  I do not look down on anyone, who go from a messed up life to a stable one.  Just make sure they are committed, before you sign up for the ride.

I wish you luck..

 

[dramafreezone]

18 hours ago, Rico3 said:

She told me she already has a counselor. I asked her what have they said about me and she just got quiet and blushed. 

Why are you so drawn to this woman?  Life is difficult as it is, and it's likely to be more difficult with her, why aren't you looking for something easier, who will make your life better?

[Rico3]

9 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

Why are you so drawn to this woman?  Life is difficult as it is, and it's likely to be more difficult with her, why aren't you looking for something easier, who will make your life better?

I have tried online dating. But it looks like most girls solely base their decisions on looks. The ones that don't almost always have some socializing issue or another. Been on POF for years and only found 1 potential mate who ended up being controlling after 3 months.

I don't have a difficult life. I have a boring one. No responsibilities. No kids, just 1 cat who sleeps all day. So I'm willing to take on someone with some baggage. In return for being with someone who is hot. She is smart too.

 

 

[dramafreezone]

39 minutes ago, Rico3 said:

I have tried online dating. But it looks like most girls solely base their decisions on looks. The ones that don't almost always have some socializing issue or another. Been on POF for years and only found 1 potential mate who ended up being controlling after 3 months.

I don't have a difficult life. I have a boring one. No responsibilities. No kids, just 1 cat who sleeps all day. So I'm willing to take on someone with some baggage. In return for being with someone who is hot. She is smart too.

 

 

The bolded is so ironic.  This woman in question has a socializing issue, exhibitionism.

That said, I can respect this in a sense that you accept having to pay a price for dating someone you may not normally be able to date.  But why are you trying to change her?

Just accept her.  You have to go forward assuming that she'll be a stripper for the foreseeable future.  This is the price that you'll have to pay for being with someome who you say is hot, as you've mentioned.

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, Rico3 said:

I have tried online dating. But it looks like most girls solely base their decisions on looks. The ones that don't almost always have some socializing issue or another. Been on POF for years and only found 1 potential mate who ended up being controlling after 3 months.

1. At your age you should be looking for a woman, not a girl. 

2. POF is not meant for serious dating. You will find many girls there but few women.

3. I am reading between the lines that you think you lack in looks, about going for a make over? Any man can look sharp in well cut quality clothes, haircut, trimmed beard. 

4. Date your age or older.

 

[Alvi]

In my experience, some men would not mind dating a prostitute or an exotic dancer. Why? Because she is hot. Hot women can get away with everything. Sure, it is probably going to be a wild ride, but a guy is going to be coming time and time again for some more.

[Interstellar]

Why can’t the options be: a beautiful sweet, nice girl who’s educated versus a beautiful girl next door who’s also educated and is  nice and sweet?

Why do you limit yourself on two options that’s not going to enrich your life and make you a better person? 

You deserve better. 

[Foxhall]

4 hours ago, Rico3 said:

I don't have a difficult life. I have a boring one. No responsibilities. No kids, just 1 cat who sleeps all day. So I'm willing to take on someone with some baggage. In return for being with someone who is hot. She is smart too.

I understand where your coming from, and you are attracted to the vulnerability of this girl, 

You probably realise yourself the chances of her remaining faithful to you in the long run anyway are relatively slim, but yes the attraction to that vulnerability factor can be a big drawing factor,

I suppose no harm seeing where it goes for a few months 

[Rico3]

56 minutes ago, Foxhall said:

I understand where your coming from, and you are attracted to the vulnerability of this girl, 

You probably realise yourself the chances of her remaining faithful to you in the long run anyway are relatively slim, but yes the attraction to that vulnerability factor can be a big drawing factor,

I suppose no harm seeing where it goes for a few months 

No

[Cali Lisa]

9 hours ago, Rico3 said:

I have tried online dating. But it looks like most girls solely base their decisions on looks. The ones that don't almost always have some socializing issue or another. Been on POF for years and only found 1 potential mate who ended up being controlling after 3 months.

I don't have a difficult life. I have a boring one. No responsibilities. No kids, just 1 cat who sleeps all day. So I'm willing to take on someone with some baggage. In return for being with someone who is hot. She is smart too.

 

 

So, she is smart, young and cute. And what are you giving her in return? You think you will give her a place to stay and free food and clothes. She is not your cat to be content with that. Of course, she is opening up to you, she has to talk about something. Do you really think she enjoys talking with you? Of all people, YOU are the one she will choose to love forever? She is 20, pretty and smart. Why the hell would she need you for? Are you filthy rich? You think she needs your house with your body sleeping next to her every night? No, she doesn't. She is 20 and needs a job and a 20-year old boyfriend who doesn't have a house yet. You are not her prince. You are her client. 

[balletomane]

To add to the above: if someone sees the sex industry as so disreputable he would worry about introducing a stripper to his family, views sex workers as damaged goods in need of repair, and wants to help them leave the industry...why on earth is he a customer? How is it legit for him to be a punter, but not OK for her to provide the services he's creating demand for?

Men who genuinely feel that the sex industry is unethical and harmful don't participate in it. It's that simple.

[stillafool]

2 minutes ago, balletomane said:

To add to the above: if someone sees the sex industry as so disreputable he would worry about introducing a stripper to his family, views sex workers as damaged goods in need of repair, and wants to help them leave the industry...why on earth is he a customer? How is it legit for him to be a punter, but not OK for her to provide the services he's creating demand for?

Men who genuinely feel that the sex industry is unethical and harmful don't participate in it. It's that simple.

Absolutely correct!  Why was he there in the first place?

[Rico3]

It's sad that she showed me the FB of her side of the family that owns a car dealership and lives in a million dollar house.