do I have a strong connection with this girl? telepathy signs)

[Estes]

Did you ever speak to her on the phone or do a video chat?

 

 

[User2022]

Ok guys, I now  know what it is. She has formed an unfavourable impression of me lately. It's possible that she is also in love with me (she has seen me and is under the age of 30), but we can ignore that. 

 

 

Edited January 6, 2022 by User2022

[basil67]

You started this whole thread by stating that you ended the relationship.   If you were serious about ending it, why do you care whether or not there's a connection, telepathy or love?

It's over.  Time to move on.

[User2022]

2 minutes ago, basil67 said:

You started this whole thread by stating that you ended the relationship.   If you were serious about ending it, why do you care whether or not there's a connection, telepathy or love?

It's over.  Time to move on.

You don't need to worry about that. Discuss the topic. 

[User2022]

And in case you missed it, she broke it off the second time, and I agreed. 

So we managed to break up two times within 24 hours. And we aren't even a couple.

But I know it's totally different IRL. Texting is a bit***

 

Edited January 6, 2022 by User2022

[basil67]

(Update to your additional information)

So you both agree that there is no future with the relationship.   

I'm trying to work out your goals and thought process here so we can give good advice.  

Edited January 6, 2022 by basil67

[User2022]

1 minute ago, basil67 said:

The very first sentence of the topic starts with you breaking up with her - it's very much on topic.  

Why did you break up with someone who you apparently had such a strong connection with?  And where do you see it going now that you've ended it?

Because I first thought that she wasn't interested based on her replies. She still replied when I "broke up". She would not leg go. 

Then I replied again, and then she broke up. There is something there but she has an impression of me that is wrong. There are other sides of me that she does like, hence ambivalence.

[basil67]

But where do you want to go with this now?  

Also, ambivalence is a reflection of not caring.  It is not a reflection of liking someone

Edited January 6, 2022 by basil67

[User2022]

Just now, basil67 said:

But where do you want to go with this now? 

I want to salvage the relationship. I like her full-on, flaws and all. It's hard to put that across to a total stranger. I tried to show her that we are clearly similiar and that was it for her lol..

 

 

[User2022]

7 minutes ago, basil67 said:

 

Also, ambivalence is a reflection of not caring.  It is not a reflection of liking someone

Yes it is.. I've had several women fall in love with me who were ambivalent and downright rude and in self-denial.

 

[User2022]

Not caring is not ambivalence either. Ambivalence MEANS two emotions in opposite directions. Not caring is an emotion in ONE direction.

Edited January 6, 2022 by User2022

[basil67]

9 minutes ago, User2022 said:

Yes it is.. I've had several women fall in love with me who were ambivalent and downright rude and in self-denial.

I looked up the word and my understanding of it was wrong.  Ambivalence means feeling two opposite ways at the same time.  

Yes, the person may love/like you at times.  And hate/dislike you at times.  However, it's not a given that someone who's conflicted in their reaction to you will end up caring.  When their feelings resolve, they may just as easily want to never see you again.  

Anyway, regarding you wanting to get back with her, why do you want this when you have all the following views on her?   And what's your rationale for considering rejecting her if she does want you back?  (second quote below)

On 1/4/2022 at 6:57 PM, User2022 said:

I ended it because what started out very promising turned into an emotional wall and sarcasm.

 

15 hours ago, User2022 said:

She has strong negative emotions towards me at the moment. For no reason. She freaked out when I pointed out that we are very similiar.

 If she wants to reverse this, it's on her. Maybe I will comply, maybe not.

 

15 hours ago, User2022 said:

And she hates me.

 

14 hours ago, User2022 said:

 She was a freakin Berlin Wall emotionally,

 

6 hours ago, User2022 said:

[ ]  She used to be nice. I first mistook her for teasing, but she has really made a switch. There is no fun going on.

 

Edited January 6, 2022 by basil67

[User2022]

4 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I looked up the word and my understanding of it was wrong.  Ambivalence means feeling two opposite ways at the same time.  

Yes, the person may love you at times.  And hate you at times.  However, it's not a given that someone who's conflicted in their reaction to you will end up caring.  When their feelings resolve, they may just as easily want to never see you again.

Anyway, regarding you wanting to get back with her, why do you want this when you have all the following views on her?   And what's your rationale for considering rejecting her if she does want you back?  (second quote below)

 

 

 

 

 

Because that all stems from a misimpression of me. I don't believe that she would be ambivalent were we to meet, because I am not that type of person. I am usually really liked, or completely indifferent to the other person. I have a very distinct personality.  

One can form ambivalent feelings about me online though. Texting is tough. 

Edited January 6, 2022 by User2022

[basil67]

Given her beliefs about you, do you think she will agree to meet?

And if so, is rejecting her still an option for you?

[User2022]

7 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Given her beliefs about you, do you think she will agree to meet?

And if so, is rejecting her still an option for you?

Yes, I think that she can reconsider when everything has sunk in. Weigh the good over the bad. I would not reject her. I am very confident about this girl.

When I ended it, I did not believe that it was truly over. But I felt like I had no choice. 

 

Then a couple hours late in the night.. she wrote me a quiet, subtle symbol for "confusion". An indifferent girl would not do that! And she wouldn't think about it for hours. She would just sent the damn reply immediately. Alplaca can back me up on this.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

How long have you been talking to this woman?

[User2022]

Just now, ExpatInItaly said:

How long have you been talking to this woman?

Two weeks. Really good start to it all, almost preordained. And she was nice. Then it went down the toilet.

Don't count me out just yet..People have done that before and looked foolish.

[ExpatInItaly]

All of this angst for 14 days of chatting online?

[User2022]

3 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

All of this angst for 14 days of chatting online?

Time is immaterial when there is a connection. My hands are tied now though. I've used up all my cards.

Edited January 6, 2022 by User2022

[ExpatInItaly]

7 minutes ago, User2022 said:

Time is immaterial when there is a connection. My hands are tied now though. I've used up all my cards.

I disagree. 

When you don't know someone, time is crucial. You can't know a person in 14 days, especially when you have never met in person. There is nothing to base a connection on that holds much weight in the real world. You might enjoy the chats but you're still two strangers behind screens. 

Time spent together in real-life counts. A lot. 

[User2022]

9 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I disagree. 

When you don't know someone, time is crucial. You can't know a person in 14 days, especially when you have never met in person. There is nothing to base a connection on that holds much weight in the real world. You might enjoy the chats but you're still two strangers behind screens. 

Time spent together in real-life counts. A lot. 

There is a connection on paper: intellectually, spiritually, even comedically. The chemistry thing is impossible to predict. I have no experience of it but I know people who told me that it's a crap shoot. There is no way to know if it translates to reality.

[poppyfields]

I think something must be there @User2022  cause if there weren't, she'd be indifferent.  No emotion at all.  Meh, blah, nothingness.  Dead.

There is nothing worse imo. 

Emotion such as love, hate, anger, joy, ambivalence, conflicted, confusion means something's happening. 

You need to meet!  

You may not know each well but it's worth finding out with all this tension!

Even I'm feeling it from just reading your posts!   

Not sure why some folks don't believe you can feel chemistry on line, you absolutely can.

A mental energy, and it can be quite intense sometimes.

Hopefully it will translate to real life, but not always. 

Worth finding out imho. 

Edited January 6, 2022 by poppyfields

[User2022]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

I think something must be there @User2022  cause if there weren't, she'd be indifferent.  No emotion at all.  Meh, blah, nothingness.  Dead.

There is nothing worse imo. 

Emotion such as love, hate, anger, joy, ambivalence, conflicted, confusion means something's happening. 

You need to meet!  

You may not know each well but it's worth finding out with all this tension!

Even I'm feeling it from just reading your posts!   

 

I know right. I doubt it would be boring:) We've even already had the classic: "is everything alright?"   "Oh it's fine fine"..

 

I fell for it like every other guy. Why do we do that lol

[Brian1223]

This is a head F$%# ....  discuss... 

[poppyfields]

7 minutes ago, User2022 said:

I fell for it like every other guy. Why do we do that lol.

I'm sorry do what?  Fall for her on line?  

Cause you're human.  

It happens.