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'Breakup' Etiquette on New Year's Day


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Posted

I've decided as of today to end things with the woman I'm seeing. I put "breakup" in quotes because we're not committed in any way, but I believe we've only been seeing each other for the last month or so. I've been told by both women in my life and people on this forum that I inform women of my decision too soon and that it's kinder to wait a bit before informing them. She left my house almost twelve hours ago after I made us breakfast. We don't have any scheduled plans, but we usually text every other day or so. My question is: When should I inform her? I've asked two of my friends and one suggested waiting two days and the other said a week due to us spending New Year's Eve together.

Posted

What do you want out of this?

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Posted
9 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

What do you want out of this?

Opinions on when I should officially end things. I also want to know if New Year's Day has any effect. As I mentioned, one of my friends said I should wait longer because we spent New Year's Eve together and it would be cruel to inform the woman on New Year's Day or shortly after.

Posted

I see nothing wrong with telling them when you've made the decision.   I see so much wrong with waiting a whole week though - that's just stringing them along.

Not sure why it's cruel to do it on New Year's Day.  It's not like it's Xmas or her birthday

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Posted

It’s only a month. I wouldn’t sweat it at all. If it were me I’d do it ASAP just so it’s done and we can both move on.

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Posted

Mention it when she contacts you.

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Posted (edited)

Today.  Let her know before she buys her Valentine's day date outfit.

Edited by kendahke
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Posted
13 hours ago, Shining One said:

Opinions on when I should officially end things. I also want to know if New Year's Day has any effect. As I mentioned, one of my friends said I should wait longer because we spent New Year's Eve together and it would be cruel to inform the woman on New Year's Day or shortly after.

Only if you like drama in your life.

They're not the one in the predicament: you are.  The sooner you tell her, the sooner she gets over it.

In the long run, she'll respect you for not stringing her along, playing her out as fool.

Posted

Let her know now.  Whatever holiday has nothing to do with it.  

Perhaps people are suggesting that you generally tell them too early because they think you may not have given it enough of a chance - or, you just had a wild night of sex with her and the next morning cut her off.  In those cases I think I'd agree. This situation sounds like a simple case of "this is not going anywhere."

She might feel some burn but from the way you've described your relationship, there is not very much investment on either of your parts. 

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Posted

Thanks for the insight all. The New Year's Day thing did sound odd to me, but having never been in this specific situation, I wasn't sure. I've decided to tell her on Monday or when she contacts me, whichever happens first.

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