siany666 Posted December 30, 2021 Posted December 30, 2021 I met a man ( aged 30- five years younger than myself) four weeks ago on a night out. We've planned a night out and are getting a hotel together next weekend ( we had to reschedule as his uncle died and there was a serious illness with a baby in the family the week we were previously meant to meet). He wanted to meet this weekend as it's his birthday and due to Lockdown beginning of the year, he was unable to celebrate his 30th. He said he would like to have a night out with me to celebrate- just the two of us. And we've already said we want to see each other after this initial first date/night together- so it seemed to be more than just a one night stand. Even planned a night to a wrestling match. So for this weekend we are going for drinks. We both felt comfortable getting a hotel together as I am driving due to no trains as I live 45 mins away and it's Bank Holiday weekend for NY- and both consenting adults and both agreed we wouldn't do anything if neither changed our minds. We message regularly- not every single day but more or less most days. Today is Thursday and I've not heard from him in four days- longest we've gone with out messaging and we are meant to be meeting this coming Sunday. Should I be worried he hasn't responded to my text I sent yesterday? It's over WhatsApp we use but it's been delivered but not read. I know he has some family issues at the moment which he didn't need to tell me about but he did and that was last week. I'm just thinking if he's ghosting me but we got on so well when we first met and over the last few weeks messaging. We both also follow each other on Instagram and Facebook-if he wasn't that interested wouldn't he have unfollowed or blocked me??
Wiseman2 Posted December 30, 2021 Posted December 30, 2021 Sorry this is happening. Was it just one date? Did you actually get the hotel room? If you live 45 min apart, can't you simply visit each other? Are either of you married/living with someone? 1
Author siany666 Posted December 30, 2021 Author Posted December 30, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this is happening. Was it just one date? Did you actually get the hotel room? If you live 45 min apart, can't you simply visit each other? Are either of you married/living with someone? Neither are married or have kids. Both currently living with family ( I moved back to save for a house deposit to buy). We only met the once but the hotel is booked for this weekend. He kept telling me how he can't wait to see me and that we would definitely see each other after this weekend and pencilled in a couple of other potential dates already. 1
stillafool Posted December 30, 2021 Posted December 30, 2021 2 hours ago, siany666 said: Should I be worried he hasn't responded to my text I sent yesterday? It's over WhatsApp we use but it's been delivered but not read. Are you saying you sent him a text yesterday about the date this weekend, and he hasn't responded back with plans?
Wiseman2 Posted December 30, 2021 Posted December 30, 2021 1 hour ago, siany666 said: We only met the once but the hotel is booked for this weekend. It's quite risky to meet a stranger in a hotel room. Try to rethink this especially about the safety aspect.
stillafool Posted December 30, 2021 Posted December 30, 2021 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: It's quite risky to meet a stranger in a hotel room. Try to rethink this especially about the safety aspect. I agree you don't even know this guy and are planning to go to a hotel with him. Maybe that is why he hasn't gotten back to you on these plans. He may have second thoughts and think it's too soon. Edited December 30, 2021 by stillafool 2
Versacehottie Posted December 30, 2021 Posted December 30, 2021 Who reserved the hotel? I'm guessing you? I think if he'd reserved it (and had actually done it rather than told you he did it and actually did not), you would be hearing from him. So I think him disappearing when you have this weekend coming up is not a good sign. At all. Also I don't necessarily believe all the family stuff--think it's an excuse the first time and now you are tied to that excuse for everything new that comes up. You are giving him too much leeway IMO. If you made the reservation, I'd cancel it since you have heard from him. If he's genuine, he will be fine and reasonable since he's been not in much communication and presumably you could throw together other plans. But anyway, why would you let him leave you hanging for NYE/NYD? I'd move on with other plans for yourself. He's not the only guy in the world and you can't have him on a pedestal. Good luck 2
stillafool Posted December 30, 2021 Posted December 30, 2021 1 hour ago, Versacehottie said: Also I don't necessarily believe all the family stuff--think it's an excuse the first time Yep. I've never known a man to cancel with a woman because someone else's baby got sick. What can he do? 3
smackie9 Posted December 30, 2021 Posted December 30, 2021 A stranger/never met, planning a full weekend together on a NYE weekend. Sounds like he's blowing smoke up your butt. Me personally wouldn't drive 45 mins to meet a man for a first date or anything else like described. It's Thursday and he hasn't had the decency to confirm plans. No one is THAT busy to not answer a text. He still had to use the bathroom, eat, etc during his day...plenty of time in there to check his phone. I would suspect he loaded up his dance card and got a better offer. 2
glows Posted December 30, 2021 Posted December 30, 2021 Cancel the hotel room and stay in your area. It's not a great idea to be booking hotel rooms like this with someone you've only seen once, the night of, while on a night out randomly. You don't know him at all and all those things he has told you about his uncle passing away and the baby being ill may not even be true. 2
Wiseman2 Posted December 31, 2021 Posted December 31, 2021 19 hours ago, siany666 said: We only met the once but the hotel is booked for this weekend. It sounds like he's in a relationship/married and chickened out/couldn't get away. It's odd to set up a second date for an entire holiday weekend in a hotel, no? 1
Ami1uwant Posted December 31, 2021 Posted December 31, 2021 Doing the hotel thing for a second date is not common. This coukd have been a possibility with the assumption you’d be dating between first date and then. I don’t jump to the thing of he’s married or relationship.. holidays are streessful. It’s not the time for a new relationship. Too many family obligations/ stress to do but it’s too soon to bring a date.
astutise Posted January 1, 2022 Posted January 1, 2022 On 12/31/2021 at 9:18 AM, Wiseman2 said: It sounds like he's in a relationship/married and chickened out/couldn't get away. It's odd to set up a second date for an entire holiday weekend in a hotel, no? Its very odd! Way too soon, how can you even know someone is trustworthy that soon? Then him disappearing on top of it, all sounds very shady. 2
Recommended Posts