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How long have you been dating?

Depending on the individual some may disagree with gifts and some people don’t exchange gifts. Have you talked with your partner?

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dramafreezone

It depends on how long you've been dating IMO.

I think any major gift under 6 months is iffy, unless you're really advanced such as thinking about engagement/marriage.  If you would just say you're dating but nothing advanced, I think planning unique experiences work better and are better received.  But planning experiences is tougher now due to the pandemic.

Also, did you say you didn't want a gift?  I know a lot of people say that but don't really mean it.  Did you get your SO something expecting something in return?

Edited by dramafreezone
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Yes, my ex never used to get me gifts for any occasion. It was hurtful. It wasn't about the stuff, it's about the effort. No gift = No effort.

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Happy Lemming
2 hours ago, JRabbit said:

 No gift = No effort.

That is pretty much what my mother told me growing up when I first started dating.

She told me every woman wants to open some type of gift on her birthday, Christmas, Valentines Day, etc.  Even if all you can afford is a small trinket gift, have something for her to unwrap.

This is advice that I follow to this day.

As a matter of fact, my girlfriend's Valentines Day gift came in the mail today.  I just have to wrap it, hide it (so she doesn't find it) and give it to her the morning of Feb. 14th.

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The experience I have had, whether giving or receiving, has not been like this.

Your materialistic view is based on what?

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The first few years that H and I were together, we didn't give each other Christmas gifts. I guess it's not common in our culture for bfs/gfs to do that. I was young at that time and didn't think much about it.

After we moved in together, it's been an every year thing.

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On 12/29/2021 at 1:14 PM, JRabbit said:

Yes, my ex never used to get me gifts for any occasion. It was hurtful. It wasn't about the stuff, it's about the effort. No gift = No effort.

No effort because he probably never thought that the relationship was a permanent one and was going to last for a long time. He never though you were the one and essentially never cared that much. No gifts is an indication about how much a person is into you. Not that much.

 

By no means it has to be anything expensive. A simple box of chocolate and a card if you cannot think of anything. But if a guy cannot bring himself to buy even that, well, maybe it is time to reevaluate you dating him. And no OP, it would not be materialistic or greedy of you if you choose to end things because he didn't give you a gift.

 

On 12/29/2021 at 3:54 PM, Happy Lemming said:

That is pretty much what my mother told me growing up when I first started dating.

She told me every woman wants to open some type of gift on her birthday, Christmas, Valentines Day, etc.  Even if all you can afford is a small trinket gift, have something for her to unwrap.

This is advice that I follow to this day.

As a matter of fact, my girlfriend's Valentines Day gift came in the mail today.  I just have to wrap it, hide it (so she doesn't find it) and give it to her the morning of Feb. 14th.

Your mother was a hundred percent right! Again, it doesn't have to be anything expensive or elaborate but come on, if you are dating someone, give him or her something. Anything is better than nothing.

Edited by Alvi
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