FMW Posted December 31, 2021 Posted December 31, 2021 You were disgusted and shocked when she told you about "accidentally" having sex with a married man. Why did you stick around after hearing that? She slapped you and yelled at you. Why did you stick around after she did that? As has been noted, that's the question - Why did you stick around. Not what is wrong with her and why she does what she does. If you feel you need help getting past it, yes, definitely see a counselor. But focus on you, not her. Seeing yourself as her victim is not going to be helpful to you.
Uruktopi Posted December 31, 2021 Posted December 31, 2021 11 hours ago, Billybob said: I’m surprised her other long term friends and family haven’t worked out she’s self destructive.. My friend. Though I have no qualifications for a diagnosis about individual behaviours, that should be reserved to the related professionals, I have background on the above said "mistery". Something that is not usually enough considered by the ones whose valid concern is mainly personal mental health. As posting about non mainstream popular views may trigger some debates that use to become TJ´s I decline to say a lot about unless you are explicitely interested. The most I will tell you, don´t be so surprised: seen or not, the social roots and branches of some behaviours are a necessary foundation for them, each one in a role of a wider script. The role assigned to you in her social stage is to be the main beated one. Others are relatively safe while you accept your place. Quit the crew: the last scene is even worst than the previous ones.
Author Billybob Posted December 31, 2021 Author Posted December 31, 2021 39 minutes ago, Uruktopi said: Quit the crew We are finished,
Uruktopi Posted December 31, 2021 Posted December 31, 2021 56 minutes ago, Billybob said: We are finished, Even if it feels sad now, it´s good for your emotional future
Author Billybob Posted December 31, 2021 Author Posted December 31, 2021 9 minutes ago, Uruktopi said: Even if it feels sad now, it´s good for your emotional future Yes I have come to realise this now. 1
todreaminblue Posted January 1, 2022 Posted January 1, 2022 you are not her exes and she doesn't get to be violent because her exes did it to her...its called domestic violence and she was violent towards you....often an abused person becomes an abuser its something i am self aware of this cycle having been abused myself.....she isn't ready to be in a relationship......she needs help......i cant say what you did wrong ..there's always two sides to a story.. but it does take two to fight.... this lady has issues and now you have also issues of being an abused partner ...baggage seek professional therapy, talk out what you felt what you feel now and what you hope for the future in a progressive way......move on .....and forgive her ....and yourself...best wishes....deb
Crazelnut Posted January 3, 2022 Posted January 3, 2022 You cannot be friends with this woman. She is not "friend" material. You're just trying to keep her in your life, and that is only going to delay her healing I second the suggestion to get some therapy to unravel your codependency and inability to advocate for yourself.
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