Elements77 Posted December 27, 2021 Posted December 27, 2021 Hi There I’m totally new to this forum but really needed to get some help. I started dating a woman; she’s very smart (dentist) and attractive. She’s in her late 20s; and seems to be a great humble girl. There is, however two bits I am struggling with. she always seems to be wanting to go to nice places (although says she is happy to eat anywhere) - however compared to dating other girls, this one is fascinated with a rich lifestyle. I’m sure she does well - but I don’t want her attracted to me for my wealth. I can kind of understand this point a bit more. She has, without question, lied about being a member of a private members club. I’m not sure why she lied - but I haven’t called her out on it yet - but it bothers me as to why she has lied about going there / being a member. Is she trying to justify he position in society. I want to call her out on this - but I don’t know how to? I can, in some ways, live a bit more with (1) if I test dating in average places and see how she reacts etc. I believe she is humble - but also ambitious. I really struggle with (2) because that’s a lie - and that’s a bad trait for me. I want to call her out on it - but not in a way it will jeopardise a potential relationship? Thanks for all your help!
Wiseman2 Posted December 27, 2021 Posted December 27, 2021 6 minutes ago, Elements77 said: I can, in some ways, live a bit more with (1) I really struggle with (2) because that’s a lie - How long have you been dating? If you need to "call people out" on what you think are fibs, just end it. You already distrust her and dislike her lifestyle. As far as nice places and lifestyle, that as well seems like an incompatibility. Dating is to get to know someone and observe if you are a good fit. It's not to fix, change or confront anyone. 2
Author Elements77 Posted December 27, 2021 Author Posted December 27, 2021 17 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: How long have you been dating? If you need to "call people out" on what you think are fibs, just end it. You already distrust her and dislike her lifestyle. As far as nice places and lifestyle, that as well seems like an incompatibility. Dating is to get to know someone and observe if you are a good fit. It's not to fix, change or confront anyone. Thanks for your quick reply. Only been on 1 date, but texting everyday for about 3/4 weeks. With Christmas it’s been difficult to meet up given location - but plan on seeing her again. Totally agree with your points. It’s a real shame - otherwise she really is quite a perfect fit. One lie generates so much mistrust 1
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2021 Posted December 27, 2021 I agree, sadly this is a compatibility issue that down the road is going to rear it's ugly head. She lied about something relating to her financial status. I bet money on it, she's faking her "humbleness" too. It's a facade. She probably has her reasons...most likely she intimidates men/scares them off, so she hides/tones it down. If you think you need to call her out on it, you may as well just walk away. 1
ShyViolet Posted December 28, 2021 Posted December 28, 2021 You've been on ONE date with this woman. You aren't "dating" her. What do you mean that she's "always" wanting to go to expensive restaurants? You've been on ONE DATE with this woman. You are getting way ahead of yourself. 5
Trail Blazer Posted December 28, 2021 Posted December 28, 2021 There's nothing "humble" about this woman at all. Furthermore, if she knows that you're wealthy (according to you) then you've clearly been advertising that fact. If you're going to be shouting from the rooftops that you have money then start getting comfortable with the fact that you're going to be attracting a lot of gold diggers.
searching heart Posted December 28, 2021 Posted December 28, 2021 If she's a dentist. she can afford to go to nice restaurants. the club, her parents are probably members. My dentist are that way. Personally I can see No red flags in her. 2
sushiandtacos Posted December 28, 2021 Posted December 28, 2021 She is probably used to the nice lifestyle from the good living she makes as a doctor. That's not a reason for assuming she's after your wealth? Plus ya'll have only been on one date... 1
Johnjohnson2017 Posted December 28, 2021 Posted December 28, 2021 12 hours ago, searching heart said: If she's a dentist. she can afford to go to nice restaurants. the club, her parents are probably members. My dentist are that way. Personally I can see No red flags in her. She's a young dentist. She might be swimming in debt. Dental school tuition for four years can run up a bill up to $400,000, more is you specialize.
Trail Blazer Posted December 29, 2021 Posted December 29, 2021 On 12/28/2021 at 6:36 PM, searching heart said: If she's a dentist. she can afford to go to nice restaurants. the club, her parents are probably members. My dentist are that way. Personally I can see No red flags in her. My girlfriend's uncle is a dentist. Sure, he's quite wealthy and can afford to live a good lifestyle. Having said that, he's around 60-years-old. He certainly didn't live this lifestyle straight out of college. As someone else said, this girl may only be a recent graduate, so her student loans could be up to her eyeballs.
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