82Reedo Posted December 27, 2021 Posted December 27, 2021 I have been split with my ex since early July, we have a 12 month old son . I've had been together for 1 year and a half. It was my decision to split back then for a number of reasons mainly she would drink and argue and have mood swings and insecurities, it eventually sent my anxiety through the roof. We were all living in my house and she moved to her mums. A few months later she decided to involve solicitors and grant me every other Saturday for access. This was unreasonable to me so we exchanged a few letter's, things turned nasty . I eventually talked her into meeting for a chat to try and agree access and not spend money . We got on well things seemed different, I suggested meeting up with our son and doing things like take him to the park etc , mainly to see if she was different. We began seeing each other but her brother has called me to say "its all or nothing , I'm a dad and I have a son " She has a house through social housing she is due to move into in March . It's a new house and she was lucky to get it . I'm in a predicament where I'd like to see if we can work it out but don't think I could take her back living with me and think it's better she goes ahead and gets her house and we go from there. As we have a child together this does seem weird living in seperate houses but feel it's the only way to give things another go and if it doesn't work out she has a home for her and our son. I'm worried that although things are good the few times we have met they will go back the way they were and feel its a massive risk to move her in and her give up her house . Do you feel this living arrangements with a child are unreasonable and I should commit, I'm really struggling to understand what other men in my situation would do . I want to see if we can make something work especially for our son but am doubtful deep down .
Wiseman2 Posted December 27, 2021 Posted December 27, 2021 5 hours ago, 82Reedo said: she decided to involve solicitors and grant me every other Saturday for access. This was unreasonable to me so we exchanged a few letter's, things turned nasty. Sorry this is happening. Apply to the courts or contact an attorney regarding custody and visitation schedules. Get an organized fair schedule. If she has mental health and drinking problems apply for sole custody and allow only supervised visitation. Make sure the child support is also court ordered and consistent and organized. Don't confuse a child with adhoc visitation or child support. Try not to get into personal arguments when the courts are there to protect the child and keep things neutral. Focus on being the best dad you can be and protecting the best interests of your child.
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