My ex girlfriend became a sugar baby

[JohnnyPiers]

I was with this girl for 7 years, thought she was my soulmate, loved her to death. But in the end she distanced herself from me,broke up with me, but the last 2 months we kind of went back into the honeymoon phase, she told me one night "I just want a nice guy to buy me dinner" To which I replied "but if they paid you for sex, would you do it?" Without hesitation she said yes. 

This really destroyed me, I thought that I knew this woman of my dreams would sell her body for some money. She makes good money overrall and doesn't need the cash, so she's doing it for the excitement.

I have been obsessed with the thought of her doing escorting since she told me, and have been checking pages where escorts and sugar babies post. Finally, I found her posting.

"Looking for a white rabbit" She wrote, what does this mean? Does she want a horny white guy to have sex with her for money? She also has 3 hidden photos, which I could only imagine are nudes.

Its been 2 months since she finally moved away to another City. I really want to reach out to her saying shes much better than that and she could be doing other stuff besides selling her body for cash.

I've also thought about telling her brother about this, but I don't think it would stop her from being an escort. She's never had the best family support either, which I think couldve lead to this.

I know what everyones thinking, "Get over it" "its her life her body her life blah blah blah", but when you care about someone so much you just want the best for them. I hate seeing her sell her body for sex and other perks. This makes me feel completely destroyed on the inside, and I can't cope with this idea that she would even do this. I can't even think of anything else now, or even go about my day with these thoughts coming in my head and ruining everything.

Any advice that can help me move on would help greatly. I wish i could say its no big deal but this has really messed me up in the head.

Edited December 26, 2021 by JohnnyPiers
no changes wanted to follow topic

[Estes]

2 hours ago, JohnnyPiers said:

I really want to reach out to her saying shes much better than that and she could be doing other stuff besides selling her body for cash.

Not the time to be judgemental. You can write her that but other than a possible angry response, that will definitely be the last you hear from her.

[Foxhall]

Some of the women posters will likely explain the whole female sexuality thing better for you,

someone I know quite well actually has engaged in this type of thing and probably still does,

I dont know, shes a very bright girl, friendly and fun and all that, and quite a looker also.

what motivates her? she says she just has loads of sexual energy and enjoys the buzz of sex with strangers, if she can make a few quid out of it too build up a client base, then why not

what will make you feel better and help you move on?

Based on my friend all I would say is this type of girl will never really be your soulmate, she will get bored easily, she may have gold digger tendencies, she will often view intimacy in a transactional way and never fully give you her soul,

she will be with you in the good times, but will likely drop you pretty quick in the event of a rainy day,

you will miss her but hard as it is to accept, your probably too straight and decent for her, your better to search for someone more reliable.

[mark clemson]

Women, like men, are individuals, so things that might be anathema to some women, can be fun and pleasurable to others. In a way, you are viewing her according to your concept of "how women are" and (most likely) how you'd like her to be. But she is who she is, a specific woman out of 3+ billion with her own ideas, moral views, and sense of "what's fun".

For you, time should heal this, but time tends to take a lot longer than we'd like.

It's of little benefit to you to pine for (probably) many months over a women who doesn't want you (over others) and who you wouldn't really want if you had her, as she wouldn't be an emotionally safe partner for you.

I'd suggest you work with a licensed therapist and if whatever they try it's working, then switch to another one (a few times if necessary) until you get one who has a therapeutic approach that will work to help you with this.

One thing that may help somewhat is to firmly resolve to put her in your past and be done with her forever. However you may feel/have felt, she is clearly not the girl for you. So genuinely acknowledging that as true may help a bit. However, I doubt that will do more than take the edge off of this - IMO therapy is what will (probably) help you most.

 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, JohnnyPiers said:

I was with this girl for 7 years, thought she was my soulmate. But in the end she distanced herself from me, broke up with me

 Sorry this happened. What was the breakup about? Unfortunately what an ex does after a breakup is no longer our concern or business.

The best thing you can do is delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps, as well as discontinue scanning sites looking for her. 

This way you can move forward in peace, because there's really nothing you can do to change the situation. 

[stillafool]

5 hours ago, JohnnyPiers said:

I've also thought about telling her brother about this, but I don't think it would stop her from being an escort. She's never had the best family support either, which I think couldve lead to this.

 

Don't bother telling her bro as it's none of his business.  Family support has nothing to do with it, as there are girls from fine families who are sugar babies.  They like the quick cash and the ego boost they get from men paying for their bodies.   Let her go and find another girl with better morals.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

On 12/26/2021 at 8:36 AM, JohnnyPiers said:

I was with this girl for 7 years, thought she was my soulmate, loved her to death. But in the end she distanced herself from me,broke up with me, but the last 2 months we kind of went back into the honeymoon phase, she told me one night "I just want a nice guy to buy me dinner" To which I replied "but if they paid you for sex, would you do it?" Without hesitation she said yes. 

This really destroyed me, I thought that I knew this woman of my dreams would sell her body for some money. She makes good money overrall and doesn't need the cash, so she's doing it for the excitement.

I have been obsessed with the thought of her doing escorting since she told me, and have been checking pages where escorts and sugar babies post. Finally, I found her posting.

"Looking for a white rabbit" She wrote, what does this mean? Does she want a horny white guy to have sex with her for money? She also has 3 hidden photos, which I could only imagine are nudes.

Its been 2 months since she finally moved away to another City. I really want to reach out to her saying shes much better than that and she could be doing other stuff besides selling her body for cash.

I've also thought about telling her brother about this, but I don't think it would stop her from being an escort. She's never had the best family support either, which I think couldve lead to this.

I know what everyones thinking, "Get over it" "its her life her body her life blah blah blah", but when you care about someone so much you just want the best for them. I hate seeing her sell her body for sex and other perks. This makes me feel completely destroyed on the inside, and I can't cope with this idea that she would even do this. I can't even think of anything else now, or even go about my day with these thoughts coming in my head and ruining everything.

Any advice that can help me move on would help greatly. I wish i could say its no big deal but this has really messed me up in the head.

This is all about normal human psychology.

 

You can either share "warm fuzzies" with someone

or "cold pricklies" with someone

or experience complete silence between two people.

 

The latter being far and away the worst of the three.

 

Nit-picking at stupid stuff that simply is none of your business anymore is merely creating a "cold prickly" which allows you to feel nearer to her than does the complete silence.

 

You are engaged in all of this for yourself, and with no true concern for her well-being.

So just stop it, and move on.