Did he lost interest?

[Georgeann]

I should not hope he will come back right?

[Georgeann]

I just didn't pick up the call and he told me this ....

[Beachead]

@Georgeann

On 12/25/2021 at 7:22 AM, Georgeann said:

My boyfriend didn't talk to me on Monday. On Tuesday he barely did and on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday he didn't. I am kinda sad. On Saturday i got upset at him for something and told him that If I annoy him  i can leave him alone and I t does not seem that I am what he wants. He didn't say anything but called me 4 times on Sunday and he had very good conversation almost all day. I don't know.he is into the medical field so I assume he is busy (he actually said once he is often busy) but seems too long.  For a moment i thought he ghosted me cos out favourite place for chatting showed that he was last active 2 days ago but he appeared.... We didn't fight or anything really.. 

Sounds like he hasn't been meeting your needs for whatever the reasons may be and it's giving you anxiety that's killing your trust.  The fact that you actually feel like he'd ghost you shows this.

Maybe begin brainstorming why you feel this way on paper?  Writing it down makes it easier to understand.  Some things to ask are:

1.Is it him?  Is he barely around?  Do you feel neglected?  Do you feel like your relaitonship has become stagnant because he's not putting an effort?  If you voice your concerns or fears, is he listening and do things change for the better or does he just shrug it off and continue doing what he does?  

2. Or is it you?  Are you this way in all your relationships including those with family and friends?  Do you require a lot of attention?  Do you define your worth from all that attention?  

3. Or is it both of you?

4.  Can you see yourself continuing to be with him going into the future or is it just difficult to settle down with him because things are consistently like this?

So on so forth.

- Beach

Edited December 26, 2021 by Beachead

[stillafool]

14 hours ago, Georgeann said:

He called. I can't pick cos it's evening. He wished me merry Christmas and tkkd me to not message him agajn

What does this mean?

This guy has been ignoring and not speaking to you for days.  He isn't upset that you didn't pick up  the phone because he's not trying to hear from you.  He broke up because he doesn't want you texting him anymore.  Just leave him be now because your view of the relationship is totally different thant his.  You will get over him and be free to meet a man who actually wants to hear from you and talk to you.  Don't waste anymore time on this one because he's broke it off.

[Georgeann]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

What does this mean?

This guy has been ignoring and not speaking to you for days.  He isn't upset that you didn't pick up  the phone because he's not trying to hear from you.  He broke up because he doesn't want you texting him anymore.  Just leave him be now because your view of the relationship is totally different thant his.  You will get over him and be free to meet a man who actually wants to hear from you and talk to you.  Don't waste anymore time on this one because he's broke it off.

 

4 hours ago, Beachead said:

@Georgeann

Sounds like he hasn't been meeting your needs for whatever the reasons may be and it's giving you anxiety that's killing your trust.  The fact that you actually feel like he'd ghost you shows this.

Maybe begin brainstorming why you feel this way on paper?  Writing it down makes it easier to understand.  Some things to ask are:

1.Is it him?  Is he barely around?  Do you feel neglected?  Do you feel like your relaitonship has become stagnant because he's not putting an effort?  If you voice your concerns or fears, is he listening and do things change for the better or does he just shrug it off and continue doing what he does?  

2. Or is it you?  Are you this way in all your relationships including those with family and friends?  Do you require a lot of attention?  Do you define your worth from all that attention?  

3. Or is it both of you?

4.  Can you see yourself continuing to be with him going into the future or is it just difficult to settle down with him because things are consistently like this?

So on so forth.

- Beach

I can see myself being with him but he got upset at me today....So I am not sure how to fix it

[Georgeann]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

What does this mean?

This guy has been ignoring and not speaking to you for days.  He isn't upset that you didn't pick up  the phone because he's not trying to hear from you.  He broke up because he doesn't want you texting him anymore.  Just leave him be now because your view of the relationship is totally different thant his.  You will get over him and be free to meet a man who actually wants to hear from you and talk to you.  Don't waste anymore time on this one because he's broke it off.

Before he told me to not text him he called me and I didn't pick up. That's why he got angry

[Estes]

There's no need for you to block him, he's clearly not interested in contacting you anymore.

He either checked out sometime during the days you never heard from him, or more likely he was "on the edge" of breaking up and then he got a whole slew of those "well I guess I'm not what you're looking for" messages which is the best possible way to turn a guy off, and that pushed him the rest of the way.

 

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Georgeann said:

Before he told me to not text him he called me and I didn't pick up. That's why he got angry

Why would you not pick up when you've been waiting on pins and needles to hear from him?

[Georgeann]

It seems till now there wasn't issue (he didn't ghosted) and now there is big one...

I was feeling sick and I have abusive family around me that is very controlling so I couldn't call back ...He got very angry bc that...

 

I bought him gift he wanted in hopes he accepts my apology

 

 

[Georgeann]

I hate myself tbh. I really do adore him but I messed this time. I think to give him the gift and wait few days and then try to reach out? 

[Georgeann]

35 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Why would you not pick up when you've been waiting on pins and needles to hear from him?

I just wish he didn't react as bad...But usually he calls in bad times.  And he probably thinks I don't want to talk to him... 

[stillafool]

Not picking up the phone when he called is not a good enough reason to be angry or to ghost a partner.  It's a flimsey excuse to get rid of someone. Let me ask - why didn't you call him back later if you couldn't talk to him then?  Do you live with your parents?  How old are you?

[Estes]

43 minutes ago, Georgeann said:

I was feeling sick and I have abusive family around me that is very controlling so I couldn't call back ...

Your family controls your ability to call him?

At least they allow unlimited texting.

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, Georgeann said:

Before he told me to not text him he called me and I didn't pick up. That's why he got angry

Doesn't matter.  He still has not been speaking to you and ignoring you for days.  Guys who love you want to see you and talk about problems to work them out.  This one does not.

[stillafool]

3 minutes ago, Estes said:

Your family controls your ability to call him?

At least they allow unlimited texting.

^^^THIS, why didn't he just text you back the way you've been doing him?

[Wiseman2]

48 minutes ago, Georgeann said:

I have abusive family around me that is very controlling so I couldn't call back .

This is why it's best to wait until you're back in person to talk to him and discontinue all the angry texts displacing and recreating the abuse around you.

The  best thing you can do is choose to not allow abuse to be part of you, just because it's part of where you came from.

[Georgeann]

He messaged me saying he wants to make me better human and educate me ...

[Georgeann]

My family loves controlling things btw. I am in my 20s but due to the pandemic I can't move yet. Lockdowns and restrictions where I.live sadly

[stillafool]

11 minutes ago, Georgeann said:

He messaged me saying he wants to make me better human and educate me ...

Okay  this is not making any sense whatsoever.  Is English your native language?

[Georgeann]

Well he basically said he wants to improve my character and educate me how to be better person. And also he wants me to be more curious and active.

[Georgeann]

No English isn't my native language but he said this. 

[Georgeann]

So my boyfriend got very angry at me on 26th December...I assume cos I did pattern of not picking his calls. He told me to not text him again too... i got sad and I apologized many times and as well bought him gift and he told me this plus he said he wants me to be serious and active too... He said that's if I want us to be "cool". Idk what he meant help...

Idk what he meant. I am serious person I work on my Phd degree and i want to improve... I am confused but relieved we talk again

[glows]

Why don’t you ask him what he meant? Communicate with each other a little better instead of wondering like this.

It also sounds like that’s what he’s asking for.

[stillafool]

Wha?  Tell him you'll be happy to accept his help after he makes hisself a better person.  Seriously, don't take this type of disrespect from men.  Block him and move on.

[Georgeann]

People told me he just said it cos he was still angry and was concerned abd he meant he wants ut to make each other better