Bezzabee2212 Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 (edited) So I've been seeing this guy for 5 weeks, we get on well, had 3 proper dates, slept together twice, I like him a lot and he is interested I know this for a fact but the conversation is often one sided, he talks a lot about himself and doesn't ask me much back. Is it too early to say something? Edited December 21, 2021 by Bezzabee2212 Error
stillafool Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 9 minutes ago, Bezzabee2212 said: Is it too early to say something? No it isn't but why can't you just take over the conversation and start talking about yourself and whatever else you want to talk about? You don't HAVE to sit in silence and listen to him. 3
Author Bezzabee2212 Posted December 21, 2021 Author Posted December 21, 2021 3 minutes ago, stillafool said: No it isn't but why can't you just take over the conversation and start talking about yourself and whatever else you want to talk about? You don't HAVE to sit in silence and listen to him. I always do that though. So here's the example, I asked him what his Christmas plans were and he told me but never asked back. Thanks for replying
stillafool Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 2 minutes ago, Bezzabee2212 said: I asked him what his Christmas plans were and he told me but never asked back. OH! Well normally in this case when I've been asked what I'm doing for such and such holiday, I tell them but don't ask back it's because I don't want to be put in a position to have to invite that person along with me if they aren't doing anything. I hope that's not the case with you. 1
Happy Lemming Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 Just now, Bezzabee2212 said: So here's the example, I asked him what his Christmas plans were and he told me but never asked back. Do those Christmas plans include you?? Is he coming over?? Are you making Christmas dinner?? Do you think he may have been "fishing" for an invite to your Christmas dinner?? Maybe something you could have said something like... "OK... I know you are going to ABC in the morning (or afternoon), but I'm cooking a Ham; would you like to come over for Ham, etc. at about 5:00??" My first Christmas with my girlfriend, she asked... "So what are you cooking for Christmas and when should I show up to eat??" 1 1
vla1120 Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 If you get along well and you know he's interested, I wouldn't worry about it too much. If there is something you want him to know that he is not asking, just tell him. He may be innocently oblivious to your social cues. 1 1
glows Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Bezzabee2212 said: So I've been seeing this guy for 5 weeks, we get on well, had 3 proper dates, slept together twice, I like him a lot and he is interested I know this for a fact but the conversation is often one sided, he talks a lot about himself and doesn't ask me much back. Is it too early to say something? He may be socially awkward/low confidence or shy. Ie doesn't want to pry. I wouldn't nitpick about it or bring it up in particular. If he does ask you about your plans in the future you can mention offhand that you like it when he does that. He may respond better to encouragement rather than you presenting a problem. 3 1
Happy Lemming Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 9 minutes ago, glows said: If he does ask you about your plans in the future you can mention offhand that you like it when he does that. He may respond better to encouragement rather than you presenting a problem. If I could expand upon @glows suggestion... With New Years coming up, perhaps you make a statement like "I'm not sure what to do about New Years Eve, I'm thinking about (X) and I'm thinking about (Y)" Hopefully, he will say "OMG, (Y) sounds like so much more fun" or he may say "I'm doing (Z) and would very much like you to join me" 2 1
FMW Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 He may very well just not have good conversational skills. That's more prevalent than you would think. Some people need more leading and prompting. When he talks about something about himself that you can relate to, tell your own relevant story about yourself. See if he shows interest and pays attention to what you are saying. Hopefully that will prompt him to follow up on something you've said and result in a better back and forth flow. Over time, he should remember things you've told him about yourself and show that he is familiar with them when they come up and even bring them up himself. 1 1
spiderowl Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 4 hours ago, Bezzabee2212 said: So I've been seeing this guy for 5 weeks, we get on well, had 3 proper dates, slept together twice, I like him a lot and he is interested I know this for a fact but the conversation is often one sided, he talks a lot about himself and doesn't ask me much back. Is it too early to say something? It’s unlikely to get any better. There is a reason people talk only about themselves. They have little interest in other people and their feelings. 1 2
Lotsgoingon Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 I say leave him alone---this refusal or inability to ask you obvious questions in a reciprocal way is a major red flag. Shows awful social skill. If he's not curious about you now, he will NEVER be curious. So things will only get worse! Drop him and move on. Person can't ask you basic questions that you just asked them. Huge red flag. 1
missgangrene Posted December 22, 2021 Posted December 22, 2021 (edited) [ ] He isn’t expressing interest in your life/thoughts/experiences? Has nothing to do with shyness,introversion, reticence. If you’re giving clear signals of attraction, and he’s still only focusing on himself? Run. Edited December 22, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator respect 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 22, 2021 Posted December 22, 2021 16 hours ago, Bezzabee2212 said: the conversation is often one sided, he talks a lot about himself and doesn't ask me much back. Is it nervous chatter or trying too hard to impress you? Or is he a bore who talks about himself too much? If you like him, simply talk about yourself and your interests, you don't have to wait for him to ask questions to keep the conversation going.
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