Lifegoeson12 Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 So I’ve been seeing this guy for a few month about 6 now, and last week I told him I loved him. He’s one of the kindest, sweetest people I know. so I told him and he smiled from ear to ear and kissed me after. He told me when he’s ready he’ll say it back, which didn’t bother me. I know people do it at their own pace. anyway he’s away at the moment visiting family, I should mention he paid for me to join him as he really wanted me to meet his family. but I couldn’t get time off work. overall he’s been very genuine, he’s cooked dinners for my friends introduced me to his, taken me away for a weekend on a fabulous trip and my own family seem to like him. so we where FaceTime yesterday and at the end of the call I said I love you, to which he replied love you too. He smiled when he said it but we hung up straight after. that night I said goodnight and to enjoy his dinner with his family. There’s a time difference. But all I got back was thanks. Now I’m worried he didn’t mean to say I love you too or it’s freaked him out. everything seems to be going so well so far and I honestly wasn’t expecting the I love you at the end of the call but it happened and now I don’t know should I bring it up or ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen. ive never had a guy tell me they love me, I’m 29yr of age and the closest I’ve ever gotten was an ex who said they think they love me so any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks :)
introverted1 Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 If he meant it, he's bound to say it again. Patience.
glows Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 The novelty of ILY will wear off. Please focus on the way he treats you in person and over the phone. Does he follow through on his promises, is he a good man, what are his relationships like with his family, friends, colleagues. Watch his actions. He may also be sensing you’re quite nervous or anticipatory of those words. Couples don’t always say it to punctuate the end of every conversation. However if you feel he’s stingy and miserly with his affirmations of love or just doesn’t cut it for you in a rl, reconsider if this is the way you wish to live or associate with a partner.
stillafool Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 10 minutes ago, Lifegoeson12 said: He told me when he’s ready he’ll say it back, which didn’t bother me. I know people do it at their own pace. But it is bothering you and that's why this thread exists. I think that after you told him "ILY" you should have waited before saying it again which prompted him to say "love you too". It's not quite the same as saying for the first time "I love you" the way you told him. He may now feel pressure to say something because you are repeating it to him. I would feel pressured to say something back if I were in his shoes. 1
Girl Fade Away Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 13 minutes ago, stillafool said: He may now feel pressure to say something because you are repeating it to him Agree. OP, my suggestion would be to stop saying it. Still be your happy fun and giving self but without the words. 33 minutes ago, Lifegoeson12 said: I don’t know should I bring it up or ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen. No, do not bring it up, that only adds more pressure. Wait for him to say first, then you will know it's genuine. Have faith in your connection and focus on that. 1
smackie9 Posted December 21, 2021 Posted December 21, 2021 (edited) That's sad you have never experienced a man actually freely say that to you. There are people out there show love through actions not verbally. So maybe showing your love through things you do for him more so than saying it will make him feel more relaxed. Me personally wouldn't find that acceptable, but that's me. Sounds like you have a good thing going. Just simply be happy you found each other. Best of luck Edited December 21, 2021 by smackie9
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