Am I in freind Zone and how get out if I am

[Jayofcastleford]

Well were do I Start I met this girl on fb around 10 mouths ago and for me was Just instant Spark Shes beautiful,kind,caring with aCrazy Side that I.love

we have So much in common and talked for hours daily and eventually asked for a date.

took while her Say yes She's come out a bad relationship and told her theres no rush not going anyware and after few weeks She Said she would like to go out.

(maybe gained her trust we both have 2kids and even found out When teenager She beat up my ex Wife bonus lol )

So spent a day together I arranged it all took her wildlife park,for meal and bowling not 1 awkand Silence all day even ended up kissing allot.

after that day kept talking every day then one day Said don't think going work (I washurt) but kept talking all was upto now She's had 1 relationships in mean time both complete knobs and Shes openly admitted are mistakes i've neverbeen the Shoulder cry on but we talked about her relationships nowand again.

I have told herthe way I feel never changed and she knows this.

She asks meet upWhen She Can She works hard,Studying be a lawyer and 2 kids and help her out when needed.

weflirt in txt and in person I can always make her laugh and her me.

Shes asked to introduce our kids each other and we have and we all have So much fun.

But Im So Confused and im not big headed but I have experiance With relationships and datingand hate Sound Cliche never met a girl like her befor feeling a real 1 in a million.

So don't get it we making plans over xmas and Wants take kids down london for daughter bday harry potter world and that's not till march.

we split most bills or money for Stuff Sometimes I Sneak off and pay Just mebut She spends on my Kids.

any advice people?

[glows]

I think she friendzoned you. You’re a friend, play date or meet ups with the kids. Romantically it’s not working. 

If you have strong feelings for her let it fade for awhile and get back to dating other women. 

[smackie9]

Once you are in that's it...a BF without benefits. You are filling in a void, helping her get over her ex....it's the kiss of death.

Just look at it as making a good friend and date other women.

[Jayofcastleford]

I do date other women thats not a problem Been on a few in last month.

But no zing only with her

[glows]

7 minutes ago, Jayofcastleford said:

I do date other women thats not a problem Been on a few in last month.

But no zing only with her

Wait for it. Plenty of zings to be had. Give yourself a chance however. 

[Jayofcastleford]

Iknow  I enjoy Spending time with her and hoping Something will change.

am IJust flogging a dead horse

[Ami1uwant]

30 minutes ago, Jayofcastleford said:

I do date other women thats not a problem Been on a few in last month.

But no zing only with her

How are you measuring this?

[Jayofcastleford]

Just do I feel conection or Just any feeling.

guess your asking me am I comparing them to her.

guess on come levels I am but is that a bad thing to want Someone that ticks allot of boxes

[Ami1uwant]

Just now, Jayofcastleford said:

Just do I feel conection or Just any feeling.

guess your asking me am I comparing them to her.

guess on come levels I am but is that a bad thing to want Someone that ticks allot of boxes

You are doing that.  Just because you had instant attraction, biases ensued reinforcing perceived connections that really was not there.

[Jayofcastleford]

I had instant attraction with her online be fore even met.

I do give them a chance I done Some a few dates to see if develope.

I will freely admit im a little Shallow but i'mnot going be someone doesnt ping my bell

[Ami1uwant]

5 minutes ago, Jayofcastleford said:

I had instant attraction with her online be fore even met.

I do give them a chance I done Some a few dates to see if develope.

I will freely admit im a little Shallow but i'mnot going be someone doesnt ping my bell

That’s likely part of the problem as a no sex BF ( Ken doll)

[Jayofcastleford]

I do have Sex with the other girls if comes to it.

and trying to decide do I buy her a xmas present ?

nothing over the top

[Lotsgoingon]

It doesn't change--only in Hallmark Christmas movies do people go from looking at you as a friend to looking at you as a possible boyfriend. And in real life, when it changes (in .01 percent of cases), the change happened naturally. Meaning you stop thinking of her, stop waiting for her, stop everything and then over time, the relationship just naturally emerges. 

 

 

[Jayofcastleford]

So that's What im doing getting on with my life talking and dating other girls.

going on nights out but also enJoying time with her.

if Somone comes along that I feel connection with im going try with them.

 

[glows]

1 hour ago, Jayofcastleford said:

I do have Sex with the other girls if comes to it.

and trying to decide do I buy her a xmas present ?

nothing over the top

You’ve already accepted that she sees you as a friend and are enjoying other opportunities. She may tick off some boxes but not the one that matters most. She doesn’t feel the same way about you. You must realize on some level the longer you hang around like this the less desirable or attractive you are? 

Try doing things differently. What have you got to lose? A lady who doesn’t feel the same way you do? I think the desire and interest in finding something more reciprocal would surpass anything that this friendship offers. I also think you have rosey lenses on. Limit your contact with her and give yourself a chance to see other women in a different light. 

[glows]

1 minute ago, Jayofcastleford said:

So that's What im doing getting on with my life talking and dating other girls.

going on nights out but also enJoying time with her.

if Somone comes along that I feel connection with im going try with them.

 

Any woman with her wits about her will realize in half a second that you’re hung up over someone else. You’re shooting yourself in the foot and self-sabotaging. 

[Jayofcastleford]

1 minute ago, glows said:

You’ve already accepted that she sees you as a friend and are enjoying other opportunities. She may tick off some boxes but not the one that matters most. She doesn’t feel the same way about you. You must realize on some level the longer you hang around like this the less desirable or attractive you are? 

Try doing things differently. What have you got to lose? A lady who doesn’t feel the same way you do? I think the desire and interest in finding something more reciprocal would surpass anything that this friendship offers. I also think you have rosey lenses on. Limit your contact with her and give yourself a chance to see other women in a different light. 

you are prob right.

I do live alone and enjoy her ccompany and being xmas doesnt help.

Think allot as well We Can talk hours about random Crap and never a forced convo eventually everyone else feels like imforcing it.

And nice have another adult When entertaining kids.

I do tay treat her as Just afreind but feelings build up.

[Jayofcastleford]

3 minutes ago, glows said:

Any woman with her wits about her will realize in half a second that you’re hung up over someone else. You’re shooting yourself in the foot and self-sabotaging. 

I Never tell a girl about me Spending time with her lol not that Stupid Lmao

[glows]

18 minutes ago, Jayofcastleford said:

I Never tell a girl about me Spending time with her lol not that Stupid Lmao

You may not have to say a thing. It’s pretty obvious if you’re not altogether present. 

[Jayofcastleford]

ill keep in Mind.

to be fair Ibeen fine months Just as freinds but Shes Single now and its xmas.

i' ll man uplol

[ExpatInItaly]

Don't get her a Christmas gift. A card is sufficient, since you aren't dating and she sees you as a friend. 

You will get sidelined when she meets the next guy she wants to date, so I would advise stepping back and taking some space from this friendship. At the moment, you're the surrogate boyfriend keepig her warm until she meets her next real boyfriend, and that will hurt like hell if you don't start protecting your heart a little more here. 

[Jayofcastleford]

Yeah Supose your right.

I do leave her alone sometimes can be weeks and She pops up and have been Strong not Said anything back.

Supose wouldnt hurt tell her how a dates gone now and again

Edited December 20, 2021 by Jayofcastleford

[ExpatInItaly]

2 minutes ago, Jayofcastleford said:

Supose wouldnt hurt tell her how a dates gone now and again

Except it would be incredibly transparent (and rather desperate) ploy to make her jealous. 

As a woman, I can tell you she will see right through that. And it won't make her suddenly want to be with you. 

[Jayofcastleford]

I don't mean in stantly telling her I mcan She gets in touch allot Saying how your day ON nights been.

i' ll be honest.

[chillii]

 

Haven't you ever talked about you two and what you are , what this is ?

Do you ever kiss and touch or sleep together but if not how is it all this time and nothing, ever tried?

Edited December 20, 2021 by chillii