kellyp1 Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 Ok, so I have been out of the dating scene for a few months, but with good reason. I managed to score $1 million in a lottery game out here. So, I have become extra leary of people. Fast forward a few weeks, I meet a friend of a guy I know that has a crush on me. I have never felt so chemically attracted to anyone before, ever. Despite the fact that I was once engaged to be married. This is the second night I have hung out with him and it is stronger than the first. We talked a little and are compatible but the sexual chemistry is off the hook. This scares me a lot as I am not looking to get into a physical only relationship. Thoughts/advice? To complicate things further, he is a friend of a friend of mine that has a little crush on me, so I can't even ask about this guys character and see if there is relationship potential there. This guy asked my friend for my phone number but I don't know. Even though I am a gal, I feel so wrapped up in the chemical part that I don't even know if I should attempt to go any further. I am 34 so I am by no means young and/or naive.
teck21 Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 Chemicals are wrong, if you've ever done chemistry, I'm sure you know what I mean. 'This scares me a lot as I am not looking to get into a physical only relationship.' There you go, you know what you don't want, so what is there to be afraid of? Staying off the sex a while won't kill you, or him. I think. As you said, now's the time for you to be extra careful. Why take chances?Would you like to be my friend?
Outcast Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 'Chemistry' is Evolution's way of getting people to procreate. It has nothing to do with compatibility in other aspects of life. Every once in a while, it coincides with compatibility which is great but my advice is to treat it like the drug it is - with extreme distrust. If you allow yourself to fall into bed with this guy you'll get hooked on the 'chemistry' possibly to your grief. Will you buy me some loto tickets?
Author kellyp1 Posted October 22, 2005 Author Posted October 22, 2005 He does know I won the lottery but has plenty of money himself. He has paid for me both nights we went out (even though I hardly know him). Plus, he, like the rest of my friends, know that I have split the money with my brother (we had an agreement that we would do that, even though my brother couldn't believe I was following through with it) and shared money with family and friends in addition to the goverment getting 35%. It really leaves me with about $260K, which is no way makes me well into money, especially in Southern California with the fact that I am going to put $100K down on a place and condos cost about $520K in my area. My fear is that the chemistry between us is just kind of scary, really strong. He makes it a point to talk to me as much as possible, both times, and has asked my friend for my phone number. I am just nervous because the chemistry is so strong that I don't know how to tell if he is acting on the sincerity of wanting to get to know me or just on the chemical feelings I can tell we are both having.
Mary3 Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 He sounds totally into you. If it were * me * because I base alot on chemistry I would go for it. It does not mean you have to give up the goods on the 3rd date. You can make love to this man when you are ready. That could mean one month from now. I heard one month and no sex before that time frame if you want to establish something stronger than if say tomorrow nite you sleep with him and you both feed off the strong attraction. But another month goes by and you have both been getting off like rabbits but where does this take you ? It all depends on what you want here ? DO you want some great immediate gratification and intense pleasure ASAP or do you want to slow this down and get to know him before you cross the threshold of passion. ? Nothing wrong with giving in now but will it substain a long lasting relationship ? What are you looking for ?
hooghie Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 BF and I felt incredible chemistry the first time we saw each other when I was 32. Like you, I had been in love before- dated many men- even married one, but NOTHING was like this. As we got to know each other- it got stronger and stronger. 3 years later- we are still so in love and the chemistry is still there. All of our friends and family are in awe of our relationship because they see it too. I think we got really lucky as most relationships aren't like ours. I wouldn't worry about the lottery thing so much. Get to know him, his family, his friends, etc. You'll figure out if he is genuine. Good luck!
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