smackie9 Posted December 22, 2021 Posted December 22, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Emma7897 said: They hurry and try to take me out on a date ! I like to talk to a person for at least a week or two to decide if I want to go out on a date with them . That's fine, but when the conversation turns to this nonsense about planning trips, and I love you, ditch them. These are red flags girl. Normal conversation is them asking you about what hobbies you enjoy, or what are some of your favorite restaurants, what do you do for fun, etc. Edited December 22, 2021 by smackie9 5
glows Posted December 22, 2021 Posted December 22, 2021 (edited) I think it’s the men you’re picking. Since you are the one stalling and needing to talk a bit more before meeting, they get desperate and try to convince you as much as they can. In the first place it’s unlikely a decent man who has options will stick around chit chatting like this for days after sensing that you are reluctant or unable to meet fairly quickly for a short coffee meet up. You’re dealing with individuals who are desperate. Edited December 22, 2021 by glows
stillafool Posted December 22, 2021 Posted December 22, 2021 (edited) It sounds like they are love bombing you in order to get sex. How can someone be in love with you when they haven't even met you yet? Have you actually been on these planned trips before sex? When words don't make sense don't believe them. Of course they will try to touch and kiss you because they want affection and sex. If this is a follow up to your other thread this type of behavior from men does not mean they are attached to you. Edited December 22, 2021 by stillafool 1
stillafool Posted December 22, 2021 Posted December 22, 2021 20 minutes ago, Emma7897 said: I do speak up !! What do you say? 1
Versacehottie Posted December 22, 2021 Posted December 22, 2021 32 minutes ago, stillafool said: What do you say? And yes what do you do? Maybe the two things don't line up. Like if you tell him you're not really into the over the top stuff or want to talk a lot longer but then rollover and do what he wants or is pushing for or allow the over the top talk, he will sort of think you are into it or fine with it at least. If a guy is sort of love bombing you and you don't like that, you might not like him in person either so I'd probably suggest moving on. Either he's sappy AF or it's not genuine. Unless you like sappy for sappy's sake then I wouldn't waste time going at all. 1
Author Emma7897 Posted December 22, 2021 Author Posted December 22, 2021 38 minutes ago, stillafool said: What do you say? I tell them that’s crazy we haven’t even met .
Author Emma7897 Posted December 22, 2021 Author Posted December 22, 2021 42 minutes ago, glows said: I think it’s the men you’re picking. Since you are the one stalling and needing to talk a bit more before meeting, they get desperate and try to convince you as much as they can. In the first place it’s unlikely a decent man who has options will stick around chit chatting like this for days after sensing that you are reluctant or unable to meet fairly quickly for a short coffee meet up. You’re dealing with individuals who are desperate. I’m not stalling! I believe not meeting up the day you start talking to them ! I met up with this one guy we discussed are interest hobbies dreams and goals . It took me only 3days to meet up on a date with him . He was very touchy and etc . So he was completely different when I met him.
chillii Posted December 22, 2021 Posted December 22, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Emma7897 said: They hurry and try to take me out on a date ! I like to talk to a person for at least a week or two to decide if I want to go out on a date with them . l might be wrong from a woman's point of view being male but l think that's smart if it's the way you prefer to go. Not sure when z is l'd be guessing l'm a lot older than ya though haha but when l was single l liked talking for awhile first too. Saved myself a wholeeeee lot of trouble and time too let me tell ya. l suppose l also get though where people are coming from to though with talking too long first, however for me l'd already automatically be feeling or not by then while talking anyway. So if it just fizzlesd itself or you've seen by then your not into it or whatever anyway, l just dropped it. But eh, that was me as l say. l suppose the younger guys all read the internet fake, watch yt's and the rest of the baloney out there these days too and come out the gate trying to hard. Wouldn't help your cause unfortunately. Edited December 22, 2021 by chillii
Author Emma7897 Posted December 22, 2021 Author Posted December 22, 2021 17 minutes ago, chillii said: l might be wrong from a woman's point of view being male but l think that's smart if it's the way you prefer to go. Not sure when z is l'd be guessing l'm a lot older than ya though haha but when l was single l liked talking for awhile first too. Saved myself a wholeeeee lot of trouble and time too let me tell ya. l suppose l also get though where people are coming from to though with talking too long first, however for me l'd already automatically be feeling or not by then while talking anyway. So if it just fizzlesd itself or you've seen by then your not into it or whatever anyway, l just dropped it. But eh, that was me as l say. l suppose the younger guys all read the internet fake, watch yt's and the rest of the baloney out there these days too and come out the gate trying to hard. Wouldn't help your cause unfortunately. Exactly!! Finally someone who agrees!! I like to wait and meet and talk first cause that helps me decide if I want a date or not !! you think men read dating advice and tips on line ? I didn’t know that ? 1
chillii Posted December 22, 2021 Posted December 22, 2021 Ah right ,yeah well for me all l can say is l wouldn't have gone any other way or l'd would've been wasting my time and sitting through that awkward bs every 5mins with women l was just wasting my time with anyway. So for me anyway it served me well , bc l really hated that stuff. The young guys ahh well , seems that way if forums are anything to go by , see it all the time in threads they're always regurgitating all this standard malarkey that's all over the internet.
stillafool Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 1 hour ago, Emma7897 said: I like to wait and meet and talk first cause that helps me decide if I want a date or not !! Well why did you go and meet him after only 3 days instead of waiting longer? 1
ShyViolet Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 Umm yes actually, I'd say you are dating wrong if you are even meeting up with guys who told you they love you and tried to plan trips with you before even meeting. Those are red flags and you don't go ahead and meet up with people who do crazy stuff like that. You should be running the other way from guys who display crazy tendencies and poor judgment like that, not giving them a chance and meeting up with them. 2
Ami1uwant Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, Emma7897 said: Every time I date a guy , before meeting he becomes attached like planning trips, some say they love me, and etc. when the dates happen they all are very touchy and try to kiss me ? I know some men and women kiss on the first date if there feeling it and have a connection? But these men just jump in it with me ? Am I dating wrong ? Or is it the men I’m picking ? I’m gen Z that maybe has a lot to do with it ? Some advice…if these guys are in your local area. Have one conversation with them on phone/ video. See how it goes and try to meet ASAP. a big problem with you talking so much before the date where on one plane you knoepw each other well but on others you don’t. them asking about these things is natural progression in finding out about a person. It’s better to do this after first meet. Edited December 23, 2021 by Ami1uwant
SumGuy Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 5 hours ago, Emma7897 said: Every time I date a guy , before meeting he becomes attached like planning trips, some say they love me, and etc...... That is all them, something is really off with them in my opinion. Sure when I met the one I may have thought and day dreamed these things but would never articulate it and would also counsel myself I am falling in love with my imagination and not another person. Again in my opinion such attachment only comes with time and really getting to know someone, and there is no substitute for time when it comes to that, no matter how hopeful you are that it will happen and they are the one. It's also not generational, hear from women who are baby boomers meeting men like that.
Author Emma7897 Posted December 23, 2021 Author Posted December 23, 2021 1 hour ago, SumGuy said: That is all them, something is really off with them in my opinion. Sure when I met the one I may have thought and day dreamed these things but would never articulate it and would also counsel myself I am falling in love with my imagination and not another person. Again in my opinion such attachment only comes with time and really getting to know someone, and there is no substitute for time when it comes to that, no matter how hopeful you are that it will happen and they are the one. It's also not generational, hear from women who are baby boomers meeting men like that. My point exactly…. I think it more than love bombing because when I meet up with these people and decide that I don’t want a relationship they still blow up my phone for months on end.
chillii Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 (edited) Yeah l do agree to that with a lot of what they're saying before you even meet really, you wouldn't bother even meeting those types they're probably the ones blowing up your phone later. lf his head's screwed on he'll be sensible about this stuff which you'll be finding out with a call or two before hand. Edited December 23, 2021 by chillii
Alpacalia Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 (edited) It is most likely because he is motivated by self-interest. This hot start so early on means he's not thinking about your emotions, the stage and progress of dating. Some men can be interested in you yet not be attached at all. Edited December 23, 2021 by Alpaca
Johnjohnson2017 Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 11 hours ago, Emma7897 said: Every time I date a guy , before meeting he becomes attached like planning trips, some say they love me, and etc. when the dates happen they all are very touchy and try to kiss me ? I know some men and women kiss on the first date if there feeling it and have a connection? But these men just jump in it with me ? Am I dating wrong ? Or is it the men I’m picking ? I’m gen Z that maybe has a lot to do with it ? You're running into the wrong type of guys. What are their ages? You might also be showing too much skin? (That shoulden't matter if you run into respectful guys, but if you get the wrong guys, it can make them aggressive/touchy)
stillafool Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 (edited) 11 hours ago, Emma7897 said: My point exactly…. I think it more than love bombing because when I meet up with these people and decide that I don’t want a relationship they still blow up my phone for months on end. Other women complain of the same thing happening to them that these men won't take NO for an answer. That's why you block them after you meet so they can't blow up their phone. You can't control their actions, only yours. SumGuy is right it isn't a generational thing, I know a woman in her 50s who has to deal with this nonsense. Edited December 23, 2021 by stillafool 2
Author Emma7897 Posted December 23, 2021 Author Posted December 23, 2021 2 hours ago, stillafool said: Other women complain of the same thing happening to them that these men won't take NO for an answer. That's why you block them after you meet so they can't blow up their phone. You can't control their actions, only yours. SumGuy is right it isn't a generational thing, I know a woman in her 50s who has to deal with this nonsense. I do block them !
Alpacalia Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 1 minute ago, Emma7897 said: I do block them ! Okay, so then don't respond if they try to contact you further. Problem solved.
Author Emma7897 Posted December 23, 2021 Author Posted December 23, 2021 Just now, Emma7897 said: I do block them ! 2 hours ago, stillafool said: Other women complain of the same thing happening to them that these men won't take NO for an answer. That's why you block them after you meet so they can't blow up their phone. You can't control their actions, only yours. SumGuy is right it isn't a generational thing, I know a woman in her 50s who has to deal with this nonsense. I don’t know if it’s hard for men these days with dating ? I would assume that it would be easier with all the social media and dating apps you can get a new girlfriend with a click of a button!!! I don’t know if there faking the funk and if it is really hard for men to date because when they do this it’s very desperate.
Author Emma7897 Posted December 23, 2021 Author Posted December 23, 2021 Just now, Alpaca said: Okay, so then don't respond if they try to contact you further. Problem solved. I don’t ! That’s not the problem here . I would think men would have a lot more options just in general! With social media and dating apps ! Why do they get stuck on someone that’s showing no interest!!!
Alpacalia Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 Just now, Emma7897 said: I don’t ! That’s not the problem here . I would think men would have a lot more options just in general! With social media and dating apps ! Why do they get stuck on someone that’s showing no interest!!! Why do you care? 2
stillafool Posted December 23, 2021 Posted December 23, 2021 1 minute ago, Emma7897 said: I don’t know if it’s hard for men these days with dating ? I would assume that it would be easier with all the social media and dating apps you can get a new girlfriend with a click of a button!!! I don’t know if there faking the funk and if it is really hard for men to date because when they do this it’s very desperate. Since you say it happens often with you, what do you think the problem is and why they do it? 2
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