GivenUp0083 Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 I'm 22, I finish classes in december where I'm moving back home, then I'll finish an internship and I plan on moving out of the midwest, but nothing is written in stone... There's a girl I've become friends with, and I've had absolutely no problem with. She's attractive, very cute, and smart and I have a great time talking to her. I know I'm in the friend zone, but I'm not sure if she's sending me signals there might be more or not. I've tried, and done a pretty good job, of not developing any kind of dating relationship because of my knowledge of my future situation. This girl is 2 years younger than me and has a couple years of school left down here. Us developing any kind of relationship in two months time is nearly impossible. Here are the hints I THINK she might be throwing me.... 1. We discuss relationship stuff, she tells me stuff like how she's afraid to get in a relationship because she does not want to get hurt and she tells me how she feels about everything (friend zone, I know). But we've had discussions where I'll ask her about if a guy and girl are friends first then they won't end up together, or if a girl talks about a guy she likes in front of another guy it means she has already ruled him out as a dating possibility. She completely disagrees, she tells me how she would date a guy that was her friend and that she has many times in the past, and she also disagrees that just because a girl talks about liking another guy doesn't mean she isn't interested in you. I don't think this is a hint, but thought I'd ask anyways. 2. Today she was really upset, we were supposed to go running together and she stood me up. I wasn't hurt by it or anything, we're just friends, and besides, I run faster than her and I usually slow down so she can catch up. But when I talked to her about it later she was deathly worried that I was mad at her. I told her it was all good, and she told me some stuff happened and she couldn't make it. She then mentioned how horrible she'd feel if I were upset with her. I sorta jokingly said "yeah right, you wouldn't be that upset if I was mad at you" and she insisted she would be. Now I don't know if this is a little mixed signal or not, but when I break a date with a girl I'm not interested in and only "friends" with, I could care less if they get mad at me. I wouldn't do it on purpose, but I wouldn't be worried like this girl was. Should I even bother mentioning to her that I'm sort of interested in her or is it pretty much pointless considering I may be moving out of this area for the rest of my life. Nothing is for certain though. Any tips?
sheribaaby Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 I would say that she really values your friendship and doesn't want to lose it - and she may very well have considered the possibility of it growing into something more but doesn't want to pursue it due to the fact of you leaving. Some of the best relationships start out as friends - but you kind of have a roadblock there so she is safer keeping it as friends. I would be honest with her about how you feel and just go with the flow and enjoy the time you have with her.
bab Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 So, it's hard to say if she's interested, but she could be. Is your only concern with dating her that you are leaving in a couple of months? Here's my story. I was 21 and in the fall semester of my senior year in college. I did an internship in TN where a met a guy. We started dating, and I thought that I could keep it casual, I mean, he was from Michigan, and I from SC and we were going back in December. Well, we started spending all our time together. So, we kept dating during our spring semester doing the LDR thing. We agreed that when we found out about Grad schools, we would probably have to call it off since we probably wouldn't go the same place. Well, he didn't get into grad school (okay he only applied to like the top 5 schools in his field..duh..) Anyway, his choice was to move back home or....he moved to be with me. We didn't "live together" but he got a job where I got into school. Still through the next year we talked about him going to grad school and still thought that it was best to call it off if he got in somewhere else. He decided that he'd really like to go to the same school I'm at. Not because of me, but the school is #1 in what he though his field would be. Well, he didn't get in. Booo..., but he hadn't applied anywhere else. So, onto year two together. He applies again, same scenrio, although a lot more up all nights talking about what we thought was best... He gets into a school. It's 30 minutes away!!! Yay!!! So, we've been together 5 years and we are planning our wedding for next year. It's crazy to actually read this, because I've always held by my theory to not make life changing decisions based on another person unless we were engaged. I really feel like we didn't. The only scenerio that you could make that argument is that he moved here instead of moving back in with his parents. But, he REALLY REALLY didn't want to move back home, and this location actually had some open jobs in his field. I guess my point is, if you really like this girl, be upfront about the fact that you are leaving and it may be the end of things. You never know, we were always upfront about the possibility of it ending, and it worked out!!
Author GivenUp0083 Posted October 21, 2005 Author Posted October 21, 2005 how would I approach her about it though? Also, here's a little update, she just started casually dating another guy, but he's in the same boat I am and graduating soon so she doesn't think it'll go anywhere. How do I tell her what I think about her? It's not exactly something someone brings up all the time to their friends.
Recommended Posts