I invited him over and he didnt respond?

[Runninggirl]

There is this guy Ive been talking to for a while, we haven't really had any dates. We've met a couple of times with mutual friends. The last time I saw him he seemed really into me, which was about a week ago. Now everything is back into lockdown where we live, so we can't go out anywhere. I was watching a tv series he likes, with candles and a glass of wine, and snapchatted it to him and he responded. I responded back with an invite saying "You're welcome to come over if you want to". 

I anxiously waited for his response. Only to find out he only opened it, and never responded. Its very unlike him not to respond to something that direct. I don't understand what I did wrong. He invited me over a couple of days ago, but I declined. After that he seemed a bit cold, but I figured he felt rejected, and I thought he would be happy to be invited over. 

Now Im very confused. A friend of mine said he maybe didn't understand it was a serious invite, but he must have. If he didnt want to come over he could have just made up some excuse.

Any insight? Ive never experiences this before... I officially hate dating

 

[ccas93]

1 minute ago, Runninggirl said:

I don't understand what I did wrong. He invited me over a couple of days ago, but I declined. After that he seemed a bit cold, but I figured he felt rejected, and I thought he would be happy to be invited over.

 

Really hard to say, but might have been that. 

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Runninggirl said:

I was watching a tv series he likes, with candles and a glass of wine, and snapchatted it to him and he responded. I responded back with an invite saying "You're welcome to come over if you want to". 

This is not dating, it's hooking up. If you want dating plan in advance and and don't go straight to candles and wine in-house hookups.

[basil67]

Is he allowed in your home under the lockdown rules?

[Happy Lemming]

10 minutes ago, Runninggirl said:

He invited me over a couple of days ago, but I declined. After that he seemed a bit cold...

 

Maybe he started dating someone else (in the interim)?? Or is interested in someone else??

After the rejection, he may have moved on...

 

[Runninggirl]

22 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Is he allowed in your home under the lockdown rules?

 

26 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

Really hard to say, but might have been that. 

Yes, but I didnt say "no I don't want to", it was just bad timing, and he kept in touch so I figured he was still interested

23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

This is not dating, it's hooking up. If you want dating plan in advance and and don't go straight to candles and wine in-house hookups.

Yes, but still strange he declined

13 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Maybe he started dating someone else (in the interim)?? Or is interested in someone else??

After the rejection, he may have moved on...

 

I thought so too, maybe he started talking to someone else as well. But he couldn't be so bound to someone he couldn't come over. 

And its not really about whether he wants to or not, but that he simply didnt respond. If he didnt want to why not just reject me. He just left me on read.... Ive never had anyone do that, its super strange

[Happy Lemming]

14 minutes ago, Runninggirl said:

And its not really about whether he wants to or not, but that he simply didnt respond. If he didnt want to why not just reject me. He just left me on read.... Ive never had anyone do that, its super strange

Yes that is strange...  I guess he just didn't want see you, that is how I would interpret it.

17 minutes ago, Runninggirl said:

But he couldn't be so bound to someone he couldn't come over.

The last time a woman invited me over to her home, not only did I say "be there in a few minutes"... I red-lined my sportbike to get there. 

[elaine567]

1 hour ago, Runninggirl said:

He invited me over a couple of days ago, but I declined. After that he seemed a bit cold, but I figured he felt rejected,

I guess he did, and he was then none too happy about you inviting him over.
He was no doubt angry frustrated and upset you declined his offer, so was in no mood to pander to you when you invited him over.
 

[chillii]

Yep that's what l thought. You said you were still talking after that but he was colder, pretty well says it all. So now when you've invited him he's thought to hell with that.  It sounds like the way you say you declined , was literally taken the way it sounds.

[Runninggirl]

1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said:

Yes that is strange...  I guess he just didn't want see you, that is how I would interpret it.

The last time a woman invited me over to her home, not only did I say "be there in a few minutes"... I red-lined my sportbike to get there. 

Haha, I love that! 

1 hour ago, elaine567 said:

I guess he did, and he was then none too happy about you inviting him over.
He was no doubt angry frustrated and upset you declined his offer, so was in no mood to pander to you when you invited him over.
 

Yes, but i find it unfortunate that he would interpret that like that. Very sad too. 

59 minutes ago, chillii said:

Yep that's what l thought. You said you were still talking after that but he was colder, pretty well says it all. So now when you've invited him he's thought to hell with that.  It sounds like the way you say you declined , was literally taken the way it sounds.

Yes, I was really not harsh, but probably hurt still. Now I don't know what to do, we're not really dating, so its weird for me to text him and say sorry if I hurt your feelings. I dont think he would admit to it anyway. Not really sure what to do now, to be honest. 

Regardless of whether he felt rejected I think its strange to simply not reply. 

I wish we would run into each other, it would be more natural to talk about it

[Happy Lemming]

31 minutes ago, Runninggirl said:

Not really sure what to do now, to be honest.

I did meet one woman at a party.  We were texting back and forth the next day.  I guess I wasn't picking up on her hints, so she sexted me a picture. It was tasteful and I understood the message.

[spiderowl]

3 hours ago, Runninggirl said:

 

Yes, but I didnt say "no I don't want to", it was just bad timing, and he kept in touch so I figured he was still interested

Yes, but still strange he declined

I thought so too, maybe he started talking to someone else as well. But he couldn't be so bound to someone he couldn't come over. 

And its not really about whether he wants to or not, but that he simply didnt respond. If he didnt want to why not just reject me. He just left me on read.... Ive never had anyone do that, its super strange

Yes, it is a bit odd that he didn't respond at all.  Seems like he's not really a friend.

[dramafreezone]

3 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

Yes that is strange...  I guess he just didn't want see you, that is how I would interpret it.

The last time a woman invited me over to her home, not only did I say "be there in a few minutes"... I red-lined my sportbike to get there. 

Maybe he's not the "hookup" type of guy. 

[dramafreezone]

4 hours ago, Runninggirl said:

He invited me over a couple of days ago, but I declined

Soooo, you declined him, but you're miffed that he declined your invitation?

[Girl Fade Away]

7 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

Soooo, you declined him, but you're miffed that he declined your invitation?

He did not decline her invite, he didn't respond at all, he ignored it, which is pretty rude even if he couldn't make it.  That is why she is 'miffed.'  I would be too.

@Runninggirloff topic but where do you live that you are in another lockdown?  In my neck of the woods things are pretty much all back to normal!  

Edited December 9, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[Happy Lemming]

4 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

Maybe he's not the "hookup" type of guy. 

I guess that is possible... Perhaps he is one of those unique unicorns!!

I've heard they exist... just never knew one.

[Girl Fade Away]

6 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

I guess that is possible... Perhaps he is one of those unique unicorns!!

I've heard they exist... just never knew one.

Haha, where is the laughing emoji when you need it?  Oh here it is! 

Thanks for the chuckle Happy Lemming!

Edited December 9, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[ExpatInItaly]

Whatever his reasoning, I would leave it here, OP.

He evidently doesn’t reciprocate your interest anymore and can’t even be bothered to respond. Not much more to say there, really. 

[Curious-One]

12 hours ago, elaine567 said:

I guess he did, and he was then none too happy about you inviting him over.
He was no doubt angry frustrated and upset you declined his offer, so was in no mood to pander to you when you invited him over.
 

This i have invited girls before on dates and they made up excuse and said they could not that day so i was hurt felt rejected and then they would invite me somewhere later on or send me a text and i didnt even bother responding. Looking back it was dumb but it was/is my ego that was like you had your chance and missed it bye. 

 

Also ive had girls drunk text invite me before and i didnt respond on purpose because i felt wrong taking advantage of a girl that was drunk while i am sober.

[Wiseman2]

13 hours ago, Runninggirl said:

Yes, but still strange he declined

Not really. Maybe he was creeped out by the hookup invite and has better things to do than get stuck in a thirst trap.

Use better judgement. Invite someone for coffee.

Don't test people like this, then be upset that your impulsive last minute invite backfires. It came across as desperate and a lot of guys don't want to go there.

[Blind-Sided]

15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

This is not dating, it's hooking up. If you want dating plan in advance and and don't go straight to candles and wine in-house hookups.

I agree.  From this end of the keyboard... that was a hook-up invite... and not a date. There are a couple issues with that.

1) Not every guy is just looking for sex.

2) Very few relationships start from a "Hook-up". 

 

[Girl Fade Away]

17 hours ago, Runninggirl said:

He invited me over a couple of days ago, but I declined.

So it's okay for HIM to invite her over to his for a potential 'hook up' but when she invites him to hers, suddenly he is not into hookups?  SMH at that one. 

Also she declined because she had a conflict, it.wasn't a rejection.  Or should she have broken her previously-made plans to have a hook up at his?  

Guy didn't even have the courtesy to verbally decline, he ignored her. 

@Runninggirlyou did nothing wrong.   Toss this one back is my advice.  If he were interested in actually dating you, he would be inviting you out on a proper date not over to his for what he most likely hoped would be a hook up. 

Edit:  Sorry forgot you're on lockdown.  Toss him back anyway.  Ghosting on your invite is plain rude. 

 

Edited December 9, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[glows]

My thought is that he might have had someone else over at the time or was busy. I wouldn't think anything of this. This is a hook up though, not a date. So laugh it off and if he texts you back at some point you can decide if you still want to pursue things.

[Alvi]

8 hours ago, Curious-One said:

This i have invited girls before on dates and they made up excuse and said they could not that day so i was hurt felt rejected and then they would invite me somewhere later on or send me a text and i didnt even bother responding. Looking back it was dumb but it was/is my ego that was like you had your chance and missed it bye. 

 

Also ive had girls drunk text invite me before and i didnt respond on purpose because i felt wrong taking advantage of a girl that was drunk while i am sober.

Yes, this is probably what it is. You rejected him before. Now he feels vindicated by not responding back. Tit for tat for him. A bruised male ego thing. Not a very mature attitude, for sure. But oh, well. 

if you are looking for just a hook-up, you should not have any shortage of guys banging at your door in any case.

[Runninggirl]

Thanks for all the responses!  I think @Curious-One is correct. He is very the bruised ego type of guy. I never meant to reject him, it was actually a conflict, but perhaps it was miscommunication how I declined from my part. I haven't heard from him since, he was cold until I invited him over, now he's just gone. For the sake of it I sent him another text asking if he wanted to go christmas shopping with me tomorrow, so he knows its not just hooking up, and to show that I really am trying to make up and make time. 

I texted him "Would you like to help me shop a few christmas presents tomorrow? I would love your company" 

Fingers crossed!