Why [did he] do this ?

[Emma7897]

11 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

He was attempting to ask you out and although he wasn't doing it properly, you didn't help by being "wishy-washy" in your "I don't know" response.

As a woman, you could have said "I'd say yes to a date if your asked me out" at that point, I'm sure he would have asked you out.

Well I didn’t know what it was !!! By him asking me “what is this “ just sounded like idk ? 

[Emma7897]

11 minutes ago, stillafool said:

So you're saying you don't know if you consider him just a friend or a romantic partner?  Did this guy end the date early too?

Nope he didn’t 

[Uruktopi]

2 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

Are contact ended then he begged to talk to me again. Then are contact ended again. Why do men beg for you back just to let the contact die?

Some men do this. Some women do about the same.

Some men and women let a long relationship die (or they kill it) and when it ends they ask for another chance. And again.

Some of us, men and women are learning to choose better. And not those above described ones.

Best wishes!

 

 

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

Are contact ended then he begged to talk to me again. Then are contact ended again. Why do men beg for you back just to let the contact die?

Did you actually do anything to keep contact going or just give 1 or 2 word answers and expect him to chase you.  That is the impression I'm getting from you and if I'm correct no matter how cute you are that gets real boring, real quick.

Edited December 8, 2021 by stillafool

[Emma7897]

9 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Did you actually do anything to keep contact going or just give 1 or 2 word answers and expect him to chase you.  That is the impression I'm getting from you and if I'm correct no matter how cute you are that gets real boring, real quick.

He would text me and I would respond! With full sentences. He complained how I don’t text him first ! Which …. I couldn’t cause he would always beat me to it. 

[Happy Lemming]

29 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

Well I didn’t know what it was !!! By him asking me “what is this “ just sounded like idk ? 

It appears everything has stalled with the interaction between you two.

At this point, if you want to go out with this guy, you are going to have to tell him to ask you out or you are going to have to ask him out.

If you do nothing, nothing further will happen.

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Emma7897 said:

He would always ask me what we are and I would say idk ? 

 

2 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

Well I told him we were just friends ??? 

Okay, so what did he say when you told him you two were just friends?  He more than likely isn't looking for more "friends" but a gf.   Oh well, at least you told him where you stand.

[Emma7897]

11 minutes ago, stillafool said:

 

Okay, so what did he say when you told him you two were just friends?  He more than likely isn't looking for more "friends" but a gf.   Oh well, at least you told him where you stand.

He didn’t respond to it he changed the topic. 
 

I feel like if he wanted more he would have told me you know ? All he said was what is this ? 
 

 

[chillii]

Well , he asked and you said just friends , so that pretty well killed it right there bc if he wanted more then you've told him it's not more your just friends. Now he thinks ok well he's wasting he's time.

[Emma7897]

3 minutes ago, chillii said:

Well , he asked and you said just friends , so that pretty well killed it right there bc if he wanted more then you've told him it's not more your just friends. Now he thinks ok well he's wasting he's time.

It didn’t happen like that. When he would asked what is this ? I would ask him back like idk what is this ?? 
 

He should have Told me he wanted more then friends 

[stillafool]

6 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

I feel like if he wanted more he would have told me you know ? All he said was what is this ? 
 

And he probably feels the same way about you....if she has wanted more she......   So around and around you go.   If a girl sees you as only a friend she may not want to kiss you or have sex is what he's thinking, and he would be right.  You should have asked him the same question back.

[Girl Fade Away]

1 hour ago, Brian1223 said:

Probably would help to take the time to provide all information if you want a helpful and accurate response, instead of a bunch of randoms on a forum taking a stab at the dark with the limited information you have provided. 

Emma, I mean no offense but I agree with the above quoted.  Between the guy who asked if you received compliments (yesterday's thread) and this guy, you may want to consider working on how YOU communicate with men.  Try being more open and forthright.  Staying off your phone while on a date and responding to questions honestly and directly.  If you are confused about something they say or ask, ask him to clarify what he meant.  Don't sit there confounded and then create a thread asking strangers what he meant.

Like the man in yesterday's thread, when he asked if you received compliments, be honest, don't reply "not really" it wasn't even true.  It's okay to say yes to that question, it's not bragging, it's honest. 

Try being more open, confident and brave.  

Edited December 8, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
edited quote

[chillii]

5 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

It didn’t happen like that. When he would asked what is this ? I would ask him back like idk what is this ?? 
 

He should have Told me he wanted more then friends 

Well if it didn't happen like that you should've told us how it did happen the first time.

l still think he's going on your feed back though and he isn't feeling it from that.

[stillafool]

Emma I don't think you are giving guys a clear indication that you are interested in them in a romantic way.  I know you're probably very attractive and that's what draws them to you ;but do you flirt with them in a way to show that you have a romantic interest in them?  If not,  when you're a cute girl it's intimidating for guys because they feel you're going to reject them if you don't show interest.

[Alpacalia]

I'd like to help but yesterday's thread was mentally exhausting.

[Emma7897]

14 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Emma I don't think you are giving guys a clear indication that you are interested in them in a romantic way.  I know you're probably very attractive and that's what draws them to you ;but do you flirt with them in a way to show that you have a romantic interest in them?  If not,  when you're a cute girl it's intimidating for guys because they feel you're going to reject them if you don't show interest.

I think that’s my downfall! From a young age people always told me to let the guy chase and don’t show to much interest until there’s a relationship.

[Girl Fade Away]

9 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

I think that’s my downfall! From a young age people always told me to let the guy chase and don’t show to much interest until there’s a relationship.

I was actually taught the same thing Emma, and lost a couple of men because of it.  One man even told my girlfriend (the person who set us up) that was the reason, he said he really liked me but he was tired of chasing and do all the work.   I was quite entitled back then, not proud to admit!

But as I got older I realized that men need assurances too, they don't want to be doing ALL the work, all the chasing.  Some pursuing/initiating of course, but YOU should be reciprocating, contributing to the conversation and your overall dating experience.   NOT sitting there like a block of ice counting on your good looks to do all the work.

That gets old for men.

Edited December 8, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[basil67]

29 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

I think that’s my downfall! From a young age people always told me to let the guy chase and don’t show to much interest until there’s a relationship.

I heard this advice when I was young and completely ignored it.  It's never made any sense to me that anyone would bother with someone who shows no interest.

[Emma7897]

31 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

I was actually taught the same thing Emma, and lost a couple of men because of it.  One man even told my girlfriend (the person who set us up) that was the reason, he said he really liked me but he was tired of chasing and do all the work.   I was quite entitled back then, not proud to admit!

But as I got older I realized that men need assurances too, they don't want to be doing ALL the work, all the chasing.  Some pursuing/initiating of course, but YOU should be reciprocating, contributing to the conversation and your overall dating experience.   NOT sitting there like a block of ice counting on your good looks to do all the work.

That gets old for men.

Yeah people will tell me Never text a guy first ! If he wanted to talk to you he would text you “

 

Which I’m waking up and seeing that’s not good!  

[spiderowl]

3 hours ago, Emma7897 said:

Well I’m guessing he didn’t care to label it. He kept asking me what are we? How was I supposed to know 

I think when guys ask that, Emma, they want to know where they stand with you.  Do you see them as a friend, a boyfriend, or what?

[Girl Fade Away]

4 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

Yeah people will tell me Never text a guy first ! If he wanted to talk to you he would text you “

 

Which I’m waking up and seeing that’s not good!  

Emma, learn balance.  Ideally, he should NOT be doing all the texting, nor should you.   Take turns initiating.  Show interest but don't go overboard about it.   Again, it's all about balance.  Give and take.   I may get beat up for saying this, but for me, in the beginning, I prefer HE do a bit more initiating.   Leading.   But I always reciprocate and a man is rarely left wondering how attracted I am to him.   Unless he is so insecure around me, in which case nothing I do or do not do would help anyway.

You WILL  find men who are more than happy to chase you, often relentlessly, but I have learned to avoid those men.  Because once they "have" you, conquered you so to speak and the chase ends, they will become bored and off to their next conquest.

 

[Emma7897]

9 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

Emma, learn balance.  Ideally, he should NOT be doing all the texting, nor should you.   Take turns initiating.  Show interest but don't go overboard about it.   Again, it's all about balance.  Give and take.   I may get beat up for saying this, but for me, in the beginning, I prefer HE do a bit more initiating.   Leading.   But I always reciprocate and a man is rarely left wondering how attracted I am to him.   Unless he is so insecure around me, in which case nothing I do or do not do would help anyway.

You WILL  find men who are more than happy to chase you, often relentlessly, but I have learned to avoid those men.  Because once they "have" you, conquered you so to speak and the chase ends, they will become bored and off to their next conquest.

 

Yeah I definitely agree. Well seems like this one is gone lol. 
 

better luck next time ! 

 

 

[Girl Fade Away]

24 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

Yeah I definitely agree. Well seems like this one is gone lol. 
better luck next time ! 

I think it's for the best.  He sounded very insecure in general.  I mean asking you "what is this"?    Just my opinion, but a confident secure man does not ask that question, HE will confidently and directly tell you what HE wants (to date you, NOT a friendship), and you respond positively that you want to date him too.  And you both take it from there.

That is HIM leading.  Which I sense is what YOU prefer, what YOU need a man to do.   So do I and there is nothing wrong with that.

I think part of the problem is you are very pretty and as such you intimidate many men and leave them shaking in their shoes and at a loss as to what to do!  So they turn to you for assurance that you like them and want to date them, which confuses you because you need them to be confident and secure and to lead.

 

Edited December 9, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[Emma7897]

6 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

I think it's for the best.  He sounded very insecure in general.  I mean asking you "what is this"?    Just my opinion, but a confident secure man does not ask that question, HE will confidently and directly tell you what HE wants (to date you, NOT a friendship), and you respond positively that you want to date him too.  And you both take it from there.

That is HIM leading.  Which I sense is what YOU prefer, what YOU need a man to do.   So do I and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

 

Exactly!!! Then asking me why I never text first ! Well if you text me at 8am every morning how was supposed to text first ? 

[Girl Fade Away]

3 minutes ago, Emma7897 said:

Exactly!!! Then asking me why I never text first ! Well if you text me at 8am every morning how was supposed to text first ? 

Yup, this one goes back.   Find men who are more confident and secure is my best advice!  Make sure you are reciprocating and initiating sometimes too.  If he always texts first at 8:00 am then maybe initiate a text mid-afternoon or in the evening.

Again, it's all about finding the right person and the right balance of give and take.

Edited December 9, 2021 by Girl Fade Away