Els Posted December 9, 2021 Posted December 9, 2021 Just now, contel3 said: HAHA which one did you get? (or is that not allowed on here?) I'll PM you.
Author contel3 Posted December 9, 2021 Author Posted December 9, 2021 4 hours ago, glows said: The living quarters might be too small. It's ok to miss your partner but he's busy. Aside from living together, does this relationship progress to anything else? Are you interested in marrying this guy, OP? Is the living together a trial run for more commitment? I ask to get some idea of what you mean by missing him and if some of that can be resolved by figuring out whether you're both on the same page in regards to your future. To be honest I'm not in a rush to get married. I want to some day, and I would very much like to mary him in a few years. But I feel like we both need to be more settled and established in our careers to do so. So I wouldn't say it's a trial run for more commitment no. More like a medium term status quo. I think he's on the same page. What I mean by missing him has several aspects to it. He's always tired, has huge eye circles and has lost a lot of weight. I miss seeing him all bubbly and energetic. I'm actually quite happy doing relaxing stuff with him, since I'm usually the one with lower energy levels. But since it's not really what he's usually like...yeah it's just a bit sad to see how much that changed. It's also that I just don't see him as often anymore. He really puts in a lot of effort to see me whenever he's off so I have absolutely no complaints in that regard. He's so obviously happy to spend time together, it's actually really cute Still, I spend most of my week without him, that takes some getting used to. 3
chillii Posted December 9, 2021 Posted December 9, 2021 5 hours ago, ASG said: If you'd read her posts, you'd see she is using her free time to get fit and see her friends. She just misses her BF, which is fair enough. Exactly . Doesn't matter what else is going on in your life it's not about that or filling in time to fill in the emptiness , that's just a bandage . Most people naturally need time with their partner . 2
glows Posted December 9, 2021 Posted December 9, 2021 34 minutes ago, contel3 said: To be honest I'm not in a rush to get married. I want to some day, and I would very much like to mary him in a few years. But I feel like we both need to be more settled and established in our careers to do so. So I wouldn't say it's a trial run for more commitment no. More like a medium term status quo. I think he's on the same page. What I mean by missing him has several aspects to it. He's always tired, has huge eye circles and has lost a lot of weight. I miss seeing him all bubbly and energetic. I'm actually quite happy doing relaxing stuff with him, since I'm usually the one with lower energy levels. But since it's not really what he's usually like...yeah it's just a bit sad to see how much that changed. It's also that I just don't see him as often anymore. He really puts in a lot of effort to see me whenever he's off so I have absolutely no complaints in that regard. He's so obviously happy to spend time together, it's actually really cute Still, I spend most of my week without him, that takes some getting used to. Thanks for explaining a bit more. So you're both establishing your careers and there's not much time between the both of you now or not as much as you'd prefer. Have you thought of this as a blessing in disguise (glass half full rather than half empty)? Instead of this being a bed of roses, your relationship is being tested. You had also mentioned somewhere working 50 hours a week which is a lot by some standards. It can go both ways and he may say the same about you while you have your tired days also. Does he recognize that he has lower energy levels or has dark eye circles around his eyes for ie? It's unlikely he's unaware of the effects of working so much. While tempting and seemingly sweet I wouldn't coddle him. He needs to learn how to juggle his work commitments and health better if he's to succeed with whatever he is doing. The most you can do is control what's going on in your life and decide whether he's enough in a relationship for you or whether you're with someone who is able to manage his health appropriately on his own. If that means separate bedrooms in the meantime or finding new alarm systems for adequate sleep on your part, that's really up to you to initiate and plan if it's something you need in order to feel better. It's not going to bother him because he's hardly there. So my advice to you is to take care of yourself and let him figure out his limits with work. Your only decision about him is whether or not he's compatible with you or someone you see yourself with. 1
smackie9 Posted December 9, 2021 Posted December 9, 2021 17 hours ago, chillii said: This is why l'm always dumbfounded at women thinking doctors are such a good catch , even men seem to think it. They work longer hrs than any other profession , what sort of life is that for a partner, and when they are home they'd be exhausted. They are a catch as long as the pool boy is available
Els Posted December 10, 2021 Posted December 10, 2021 21 hours ago, contel3 said: What I mean by missing him has several aspects to it. He's always tired, has huge eye circles and has lost a lot of weight. I miss seeing him all bubbly and energetic. I'm actually quite happy doing relaxing stuff with him, since I'm usually the one with lower energy levels. But since it's not really what he's usually like...yeah it's just a bit sad to see how much that changed. I feel you. This was the hardest part for me - him being at work a lot wasn't as bad, because I naturally need a lot of sleep and alone time (got more hobbies than I'll ever have time in my life to fully indulge in, lol). But especially with calls, seeing the person you love come home at 11pm, wolf down a quick dinner, collapse in bed, get woken up at 2am because some idiot decided to drive home drunk and got into a car crash, go to work, come back at 4am and collapse in bed, get woken up again at 6am... that's pretty brutal. It was painful to watch, I'm so glad it's over, and hopefully things will change for future generations of doctors. 21 hours ago, contel3 said: It's also that I just don't see him as often anymore. He really puts in a lot of effort to see me whenever he's off so I have absolutely no complaints in that regard. He's so obviously happy to spend time together, it's actually really cute Still, I spend most of my week without him, that takes some getting used to. That's sweet. IMO, it's during the times of adversity that you really see what your relationship is made of and whether or not you two are right for each other... and adversity will come for everyone in some form or another, sooner or later. Seeing the effort that H put into our relationship even during the most difficult periods of his career... that was eye opening for me. For all of the difficult times we've weathered, if the world was to end in a fiery blaze tomorrow, I wouldn't regret a single second of the time I spent with him. Sorry for getting all sappy. I wish you all the best. It's okay if you decide that this isn't the life you want, it's not for everyone... but if you decide that it is, I'm always here for support! 3 2
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