Mandy2820 Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 (edited) Okay so, this is driving me insane to the point where I need to tell my story on one of these websites. I’ve read plenty of stories that are similar but need to tell my own. My boyfriends brothers fiancé seems to not like me. She’s about 2 years older than me and has been with my boyfriends brother for about 5 years. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Whenever there is a family event with my boyfriends family she is obviously always around and so am I but she literally pretends like I’m not even there. She’ll joke and laugh and ask everybody else questions but I just don’t exist. My boyfriend tells me she feels awkward around me because in the very beginning there were two times where she had to apologise to me over text message (not to my face because I don’t exist and she can’t talk to my face) where she was a tad rude or blunt to me when I’ve tried talking to her. So ever since those two times it’s just been overwhelmingly awkward. Now because of this, I have just been forcing it and hoping to ignore her rudeness that happened in the past and get rid of the awkwardness by talking to her first or asking her questions about her day or her dog, just whatever, to try and get her to talk to me. When I do try and talk to her, she will say one word answers and look away. There’s even times when she will not even say hi to me when we all see each other. It’s that bad. I’ve spoken to my boyfriends mum about this and she said she can be a bit weird sometimes around other women. That didn’t make me feel any better. I feel left out because it makes me feel bad about myself as a “woman” or that I’ve done something wrong. I get along with so many other girls and love making new friends and I really don’t understand why she is against talking to me or not even wanting a friendship since we are obviously gonna be in each others lives for a long time if we keep dating the brothers haha. Also, in the very beginning when I met her, I would start conversations all the time or even say “omg your new hair looks nice” or “I love your new dress”. Also, she is quite close with my boyfriend. My boyfriend said he doesn’t care for her but she is just really nice to him and encourages him and helps him out with certain things. Which makes me feel even more left out because whenever something exciting happens with me and my boyfriend, like we buy something new or we have a holiday coming up, she will just go up to him and say “wow congrats that’s great” or “this looks amazing Dylan”. And it makes me feel not apart of it and yeah. I’m writing this because I’m tired of feeling this way and I need help. I saw her again today and once again she didn’t say hello to me and when I tried talking to her she just said a one word answer and left it at that. Help me. Edited December 5, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language
Wiseman2 Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 (edited) Be polite but not this obsequious to her. She doesn't have to like you. You've discussed it with your BF, it is what it is. Do not gossip about her or your issues with her to your BFs mother. Edited December 4, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Reference to multi posting 1
Acacia98 Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 Okay, maybe this sounds counterintuitive, but how about you just give up? Ignore her. I think you've done everything you reasonably can to connect with her and she's reluctant. So relax and be happy, knowing that you've done everything in your power and the rest is up to her. 2
Happy Lemming Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 So just avoid her, if your boyfriend is going to a function where this woman will be... don't go. Your boyfriend can go alone, if anyone asks him why you are not there, let him tell the others the truth, that this woman is rude to you and makes you uncomfortable. It won't be any secret as you've already brought the matter up to your boyfriend's mother who made an excuse for the rude woman. You've made several attempts to befriend this woman and you've been rejected, so stop trying. If someone is rude to me, I avoid them. Life is too short to feel uncomfortable.
Calmandfocused Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 I think she sees you as a threat! I’m assuming by what you say that you’re a fun, outgoing, attractive young women who people take to very easily. If she is not these things there is a possibility that you make her feel insecure. Is this possible? If so, that’s her issue to deal with not yours. Alternatively you could be “threatening” her position in the family as the “favourite” girlfriend. Is this possible? Lastly she may be attracted to your boyfriend. Very possible I believe. Whatever the reason I think she is threatened by you. You trigger her to feel insecure. In any event, the problem is hers not yours. Stop worrying about it and simply let her get on with it.
dramafreezone Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 Not everyone is going to like each other. What's the big deal? Be civil and leave it at that, you can't control how others feel about you. 2
Saracena Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 6 hours ago, Acacia98 said: Okay, maybe this sounds counterintuitive, but how about you just give up? Ignore her. I think you've done everything you reasonably can to connect with her and she's reluctant. So relax and be happy, knowing that you've done everything in your power and the rest is up to her. My thoughts exactly. In fact, this is what I did once when a neighbour started ignoring me onced when he passed by, shortly after we moved in! (Later learned he was annoyed we'd removed some plants previous owners had in garden for years!) Silly behaviour from a man in his fifties! Worked a treat, with the result that when tables were turned became very concerned and he wanted to know what was wrong. People can be very funny sometimes!
Ami1uwant Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 Is there differences between you and her like race , religion, other side of tracks?
ShyViolet Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 You've tried many times to talk to her and get on her good side, and it is not working. At this point you need to just give up, stop trying so hard to get this woman to like you. Her behavior says everything about her, and nothing about you. This is a problem with HER. How often do you really have to see her? Honestly at this point, if I were you I would probably confront her, and say something like "Did I ever do something to offend you? Because every time we see each other you are extremely rude and won't even say hi to me. I don't think I ever did anything to deserve that, and I do not appreciate it."
smackie9 Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 (edited) I agree with the above post. Call her out. That should snap her out of it...and make sure your BF and his brother is there to see it. Be cool calm and reasonable, but do it with precision. Edited December 5, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language
stillafool Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 At this point I would just ignore her back and carry on with everyone else. Not everyone likes us so be it. Don't feel lefted out because she doesn't talk to you. If your bf's mother, brother and his other relatives are friendly you don't need her. Perhaps when you do ignore her back and show her you don't care she will come around. Do not tie your self in knots to get along with her. She isn't that important. 1
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