Emma7897 Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 I went on a date with a man and he was staring at me the whole time. Then asked me if I got a lot compliments. Why would he asked me that?
SumGuy Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 As a man I have no idea, now I am not surprised, seems like some weird vetting question...it's like a put you on the spot question as it lacks context as to what, why, etc. If he was jsut staring and asked that it probably was about your looks or something. I tend to mess with people like that (who as put you on the spot questions), and say something irreverent, like "define lot", "not enough", "could always use more", "it's been a whole 5 minutes so jonesing for another" or "certainly more than I get uncomfortable questions."
Girl Fade Away Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 41 minutes ago, Emma7897 said: I went on a date with a man and he was staring at me the whole time. Then asked me if I got a lot compliments. Why would he asked me that? I think it was his way of letting you know he thinks you're really pretty.... 2 1
Alvi Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 3 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said: I think it was his way of letting you know he thinks you're really pretty.... I think so too. In his own strange and weird way he let you know this. 1
Author Emma7897 Posted December 4, 2021 Author Posted December 4, 2021 1 minute ago, Alvi said: I think so too. In his own strange and weird way he let you know this. Yeah he never reached back out after the date so I deleted him. 1
Alvi Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 7 minutes ago, Emma7897 said: Yeah he never reached back out after the date so I deleted him. How old is this guy? It's quite possible his social skills need to be improved. He sounds very young. He could be shy or maybe he has some sort of an anxiety disorder. But on the other hand, this is why people go on dates. To meet and to see what the other person is like. Don't be afraid to stand up and leave next time if you find yourself uncomfortable being around your date for whatever reason (such as staring at you non-stop). P.S. Always meet in a public place.
Girl Fade Away Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Emma7897 said: Yeah he never reached back out after the date so I deleted him. Did you actually talk to each other? What was your response to his question asking if you rec'd a lot of compliments? Not saying you did this, but if you just sit there looking pretty but don't try to make conversation, a man may not want to see you again. Good looks aren't enough sometimes. Also, if you are REALLY pretty he may have felt you were out his league or something. More context would be helpful Emma. Edited December 4, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 1 1
Author Emma7897 Posted December 4, 2021 Author Posted December 4, 2021 30 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said: Did you actually talk to each other? What was your response to his question asking if you rec'd a lot of compliments? Not saying you did this, but if you just sit there looking pretty but don't try to make conversation, a man may not want to see you again. Good looks aren't enough sometimes. Also, if you are REALLY pretty he may have felt you were out his league or something. More context would be helpful Emma. We were talking for awhile before we met. He actually cut the date short which I didn’t mind because idk …. He was rubbing my thigh a lot. 1
Alvi Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 39 minutes ago, Emma7897 said: We were talking for awhile before we met. He actually cut the date short which I didn’t mind because idk …. He was rubbing my thigh a lot. Yikes!!! Uhhhh. Like I said before, it a date feels weird or uncomfortable, just leave. Seriously, take it from someone who is older (and who has been in the similar situation before). If a guy starts rubbing your thigh, PLEASE STAND UP AND LEAVE. No explanation required. Glad you blocked him. 1
Author Emma7897 Posted December 4, 2021 Author Posted December 4, 2021 33 minutes ago, Alvi said: Yikes!!! Uhhhh. Like I said before, it a date feels weird or uncomfortable, just leave. Seriously, take it from someone who is older (and who has been in the similar situation before). If a guy starts rubbing your thigh, PLEASE STAND UP AND LEAVE. No explanation required. Glad you blocked him. Yeah maybe he didn’t like me in person who knows. I was just wondering why he asked me that question while touching my face ?
CollinW Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 What do you mean he was staring at you, isn't he supposed to look at you while you guys are talking? Is he supposed to look at his shoes the entire time? The question implicates that he found you attractive. What about the question makes you want to dig deeper into it, especially if you deleted him? If these actions seem so uncommon for you, I'm honestly curious as to what you perceive to be normal dating behavior, and how you personally act on dates. 1
Author Emma7897 Posted December 4, 2021 Author Posted December 4, 2021 27 minutes ago, CollinW said: What do you mean he was staring at you, isn't he supposed to look at you while you guys are talking? Is he supposed to look at his shoes the entire time? The question implicates that he found you attractive. What about the question makes you want to dig deeper into it, especially if you deleted him? If these actions seem so uncommon for you, I'm honestly curious as to what you perceive to be normal dating behavior, and how you personally act on dates. this was like a soul stare though. I was checking my phone for the time as I was looking up he was staring like into my soul lol
ExpatInItaly Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 2 hours ago, Emma7897 said: this was like a soul stare though. I was checking my phone for the time as I was looking up he was staring like into my soul lol Given the added details about him touching you, this sounds less like a soul stare, and more like "I hope she'll let me touch her more"-stare. He probably sensed that you were weirded out and thus didn't bother asking you out again. 4
Calmandfocused Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 Weird? Sexually inappropriate more like. This is the behaviour of someone who is just looking for sex. Throw into that mix inappropriate boundaries, and abundant disrespect and you have yourself a pervert! You successfully swerved a pervert. Thank your lucky stars. 1
Author Emma7897 Posted December 4, 2021 Author Posted December 4, 2021 1 hour ago, Calmandfocused said: Weird? Sexually inappropriate more like. This is the behaviour of someone who is just looking for sex. Throw into that mix inappropriate boundaries, and abundant disrespect and you have yourself a pervert! You successfully swerved a pervert. Thank your lucky stars. 3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Given the added details about him touching you, this sounds less like a soul stare, and more like "I hope she'll let me touch her more"-stare. He probably sensed that you were weirded out and thus didn't bother asking you out again. When he cut the date short he kept asking me was I okay . Or are you mad that I’m leaving ?
Wiseman2 Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 9 hours ago, Emma7897 said: We were talking for awhile before we met. He was rubbing my thigh a lot. He wanted a hookup. Next time meet asap so that false rapport like this doesn't happen. He's a creep, it's that simple. You need to arrange a brief daytime coffee meet sooner rather than later. Precisely for this reason.
Author Emma7897 Posted December 4, 2021 Author Posted December 4, 2021 9 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: He wanted a hookup. Next time meet asap so that false rapport like this doesn't happen. He's a creep, it's that simple. You need to arrange a brief daytime coffee meet sooner rather than later. Precisely for this reason. So that’s why he never reached out after the date? Why would he talk to me for so long just to do that. Well he’s completely deleted now. 1 1
spiderowl Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 I think he was staring at you a lot because he thought you were very attractive. I also think he asked you if you got lots of compliments because he thought you probably did and wondering what you would say. Did he chat with you about other things or just sit and stare all evening? Just staring with little conversation would feel a bit creepy.
spiderowl Posted December 4, 2021 Posted December 4, 2021 22 hours ago, Emma7897 said: We were talking for awhile before we met. He actually cut the date short which I didn’t mind because idk …. He was rubbing my thigh a lot. Ugh, decidedly creepy! 1
chillii Posted December 5, 2021 Posted December 5, 2021 On 12/4/2021 at 2:06 PM, Emma7897 said: Yeah maybe he didn’t like me in person who knows. I was just wondering why he asked me that question while touching my face ? Well , if that's all your wondering , he thought you were really pretty , so there, wonder no more.
Author Emma7897 Posted December 5, 2021 Author Posted December 5, 2021 5 hours ago, spiderowl said: I think he was staring at you a lot because he thought you were very attractive. I also think he asked you if you got lots of compliments because he thought you probably did and wondering what you would say. Did he chat with you about other things or just sit and stare all evening? Just staring with little conversation would feel a bit creepy. We were chatting then he cut the date short . Then twos days went by he never contacted me so I just blocked him. 1
spiderowl Posted December 5, 2021 Posted December 5, 2021 8 hours ago, Emma7897 said: We were chatting then he cut the date short . Then twos days went by he never contacted me so I just blocked him. He sounds extremely weird and you are better off out of it. When I was a teenager, a friend of my family gave me a lift home from school (my family knew he was picking me up). All through the journey, he drove very slowly and kept looking me up and down. I was only 14, young and naive but I felt very uneasy about the way this trusted friend was behaving. I instinctively knew I was being looked at like prey of some sort. I was glad my family knew he was collecting me and that they expected me back very soon. It turned out later that this guy was a paedophile who regularly assaulted his own children. Of course, my family had no idea.
Girl Fade Away Posted December 5, 2021 Posted December 5, 2021 (edited) On 12/4/2021 at 2:16 AM, Emma7897 said: When he cut the date short he kept asking me was I okay . Or are you mad that I’m leaving ? How did you respond to these questions? If he was insecure, he may have asked as a 'test' hoping you would ask him to stay. Did you find HIM attractive? Attracted to him? I am wondering why you allowed him to touch your face and thigh IF you were not. Edited December 5, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 1
Author Emma7897 Posted December 5, 2021 Author Posted December 5, 2021 45 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said: How did you respond to these questions? If he was insecure, he may have asked as a 'test' hoping you would ask him to stay. Did you find HIM attractive? Attracted to him? I am wondering why you allowed him to touch your face and thigh IF you were not. when he had to leave he kept asking me are you upset that I have to go or are you mad that I have to go . He said he had to help a friend.
Author Emma7897 Posted December 5, 2021 Author Posted December 5, 2021 2 hours ago, Emma7897 said: when he had to leave he kept asking me are you upset that I have to go or are you mad that I have to go . He said he had to help a friend. He also kept asking me why I was so shy ?
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