do I bother with this chick?

[ccas93]

6 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

OP maybe she just doesn't find you all that interesting.

Probably best to move on to someone that suits your style more.

cool but she doesn't know anything about me. It's like reading picking up a book, not reading it, and then saying you don't find it interesting. 

I'm definitely not hung up on her and have other and honestly more interesting choices to pursue. People that can actually hold a conversation.

Edited December 1, 2021 by ccas93

[Carlon]

10 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

cool but she doesn't know anything about me. It's like reading picking up a book, not reading it, and then saying you don't find it interesting.

She read at least the first few paragraphs. More often than not, it's enough to know if it's worth investing in the entire first chapter.

[ccas93]

Just now, Carlon said:

She read at least the first few paragraphs. More often than not, it's enough to know if it's worth investing in the entire first chapter.

Get over yourself  I'm sorry I hurt your feelings earlier, OK?

[Carlon]

My response doesn't have anything to do with me.

 

[ccas93]

8 minutes ago, Carlon said:

My response doesn't have anything to do with me.

 

your responses are making me cringe though. and you've offered no actual advice. 

Edited December 1, 2021 by ccas93

[Carlon]

I've saved you a lot of time and effort should you decide to read a book.

[ccas93]

Just now, Carlon said:

I've saved you a lot of time and effort should you decide to read a book.

don't worry about me, please save yourself some. 

[ccas93]

anyway, thank you everyone for your thoughts

Edited December 1, 2021 by ccas93

[Carlon]

Do you mean that literally?

[Girl Fade Away]

OP, if she weren't interested, she wouldn't continue initiating texts.  And  I think you are over analyzing the asking questions thing.  Questions feel like an interview, hardly conducive to creating attraction, even on line at first.

Gage the chemistry, how are you feeling right now?  You sound intrigued by her!  Judge by that.

The questions come later organically once you meet and are getting to know each other.  It's a process. 

Ask her out!

 

[ccas93]

11 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

OP, if she weren't interested, she wouldn't continue initiating texts.  And  I think you are over analyzing the asking questions thing.  Questions feel like an interview, hardly conducive to creating attraction, even on line at first.

Gage the chemistry, how are you feeling right now?  You sound intrigued by her!  Judge by that.

The questions come later organically once you meet and are getting to know each other.  It's a process. 

Ask her out!

 

I know what you mean about "questions." they can be very interview like. but still... like I just felt no effort on her part. No flow, just bad texting chemistry compared to the first night. Idk, maybe if she posts on interesting story on IG, I'll comment and see what happens. But I know what good texting chemistry and non-surface level conversation is like, and it just wasn't there. And a lack of interest in getting to know the person you're talking to, is a turn off for me. 

But like another user said, sometimes the texting is great and in person isn't, and sometimes the in-person is great and texting isn't. We'll see, but I am chatting with a few other girls now. 

Edited December 1, 2021 by ccas93

[ExpatInItaly]

Why didn't you ask her out?

I think that is what she's waiting for. 

[glows]

She gave you her number. That's your cue to either call or text her and ask to meet. Ask her out to coffee. She is in your area, make it short and sweet. 30 minutes for a meet and greet will suffice. You seem very nervous and need quite a lot of signs for a woman to show you she's interested. I'm surprised she even circled back to tell you about her day with the crabs.

Just ask her out.

Edited December 1, 2021 by glows

[ccas93]

1 hour ago, glows said:

She gave you her number. That's your cue to either call or text her and ask to meet. Ask her out to coffee. She is in your area, make it short and sweet. 30 minutes for a meet and greet will suffice. You seem very nervous and need quite a lot of signs for a woman to show you she's interested. I'm surprised she even circled back to tell you about her day with the crabs.

Just ask her out.

Hahahahaha I'm not laughing at you but no, I'm not nervous at all! I understand how I could come across that way through my posts though.  I get enough girls talking to me on these apps where I have to weed some of them out. Esp these days now that I'm older, wiser and know how to present myself a lot better. 

Edited December 1, 2021 by ccas93

[glows]

3 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

Hahahahaha I'm not laughing at you but no, I'm not nervous at all! I understand how I could come across that way through my posts though.  I get enough girls talking to me on these apps where I have to weed some of them out. Esp these days now that I'm older, wiser and know how to present myself a lot better. 

Then pay less attention to her texting and see what she's like in person. Establishing interests comes later or over brief dates and a length of time, not over text. The first meet is to see if there's mutual chemistry in person. 

[ccas93]

Just now, glows said:

Then pay less attention to her texting and see what she's like in person. Establishing interests comes later or over brief dates and a length of time, not over text. The first meet is to see if there's mutual chemistry in person. 

I agree it could possibly be a lot better in person if we gave it a chance. Texting definitely isn't everything communication at all, but off a dating app I feel like it kind of motivates you to want to meet the person or not. We will see - I can always send an update on this thread if it ends up with us meeting. 

[glows]

1 minute ago, ccas93 said:

I agree it could possibly be a lot better in person if we gave it a chance. Texting definitely isn't everything communication at all, but off a dating app I feel like it kind of motivates you to want to meet the person or not. We will see - I can always send an update on this thread if it ends up with us meeting. 

That makes sense and I agree also so backtrack this a little. What has she told you in text that might motivate you to meet her? Are you outdoorsy? She goes crabbing. Do you like seafood? She likes eating crabs. What else do you need to know at this point? I ask to get a sense of what more would interest you. People generally can tell when someone is unsure or on the fence about meeting in person and that's when things fizzle out. She seems to have given you a lot of information so far. Was her profile decent or was it empty/no words/just pictures?

Sometimes we have reasons for not meeting with someone because we are just not ready or aren't listening to our intuition. She may be into things you're not into or you don't sense that you're compatible for whatever reason. That's fine. Move to the next match.

 

[Alpacalia]

5 hours ago, ccas93 said:

cool but she doesn't know anything about me. It's like reading picking up a book, not reading it, and then saying you don't find it interesting. 

I'm definitely not hung up on her and have other and honestly more interesting choices to pursue. People that can actually hold a conversation.

Alright.

So why not pursue those "more interesting choices?"

If you're not feeling it enough with this woman to move the texting to an in person date you're kind spinning your wheels here, fella.

 

[Wiseman2]

Why all the chitchat? Dating apps are to meet people, no? 

Next time after a few messages, arrange a brief coffee meet.

Who needs dog drink videos? What is that? That's not dating. It's nonsense.

[ccas93]

8 hours ago, Alpaca said:

Alright.

So why not pursue those "more interesting choices?"

If you're not feeling it enough with this woman to move the texting to an in person date you're kind spinning your wheels here, fella.

 

I mean I am pursuing them. Just trying to make sense of her behavior, and decide whether I give her anymore more of my time. Thanks for your thoughts. 

Edited December 1, 2021 by ccas93

[ccas93]

9 hours ago, glows said:

That makes sense and I agree also so backtrack this a little. What has she told you in text that might motivate you to meet her? Are you outdoorsy? She goes crabbing. Do you like seafood? She likes eating crabs. What else do you need to know at this point? I ask to get a sense of what more would interest you. People generally can tell when someone is unsure or on the fence about meeting in person and that's when things fizzle out. She seems to have given you a lot of information so far. Was her profile decent or was it empty/no words/just pictures?

Sometimes we have reasons for not meeting with someone because we are just not ready or aren't listening to our intuition. She may be into things you're not into or you don't sense that you're compatible for whatever reason. That's fine. Move to the next match.

 

based on what I saw on her profile, we have some common shared interests. Her profile was full and she has over 2000 posts on instagram lol. But, it doesn't really matter at this point, I think I'm just going to leave it here with her tbh.

If had had never seen her on here before or if she didn't live so closeby, I think would have pondered this situation a lot less lol. 

[ccas93]

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why all the chitchat? Dating apps are to meet people, no? 

Next time after a few messages, arrange a brief coffee meet.

Who needs dog drink videos? What is that? That's not dating. It's nonsense.

There really wasn't much chit chat. We didn't send each other paragraphs for days or anything. we talked for less than 24 hours and I was looking for a reason to take things off texting and meet, but I didn't get one or felt what I wanted to feel to exert the energy. I just hate one sidedness. It really bugs me

Edited December 1, 2021 by ccas93

[dramafreezone]

Why did you never set a date?  So many guys are usually vying for a woman's attention on these dating apps, you have to set the date quickly before her interest wanes.

The date doesn't have to be tomorrow but setting the date is important.

Edited December 1, 2021 by dramafreezone

[ccas93]

7 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

Why did you never set a date?

I just got annoyed at her awkwardness and felt like she wasn't really authentic. Still have her on IG so maybe we can try again someday. Right now I have other possibilities that I'd rather pursue. 

Edited December 1, 2021 by ccas93

[glows]

37 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

felt like she wasn't really authentic. 

Oh hard pass. This is easy. I agree with you. Move on.