Lauriebell82 Posted December 1, 2021 Posted December 1, 2021 44 minutes ago, Woggle said: That being said a woman should be understanding and empathetic to a man's fears about marriage and divorce as should a man be about any worries a woman might have. If you don't want your SO other to have peace of mind then you do not love them enough to deserve their commitment. While I agree with this, had anyone asked me to sign a prenup when I got married the first time I would have said NO. But I didn't have any assets and neither did my ex husband so that was a different situation. Fears about marriage and divorce are one thing..a prenup is another. A lot of people think it's a matter of lack of trust or faith in their partner. And to flat out honest, I agree with that. Why else would you want to protect yourself from someone that you are promising to commit the rest of your life to? I know realistically speaking things can go wrong and marriage isn't always that idealistic, but still. The purpose of marriage isn't to protect yourself from your spouse. I don't recall that in my wedding vows anyway. So yeah peace of mind is one thing, lack of trust is another. A prenup really is a lack of trust and faith. But hey, some people just don't have that kind of blind faith in human kind. And I can understand why. 1
Carlon Posted December 1, 2021 Posted December 1, 2021 3 minutes ago, Lauriebell82 said: .a prenup is another. A lot of people think it's a matter of lack of trust or faith in their partner. And to flat out honest, I agree with that. Why else would you want to protect yourself from someone that you are promising to commit the rest of your life to? This. All the way. "Let's get married and promise to commit to one another at the highest level, but just in case things don't go as planned, we're just going to sign this legal document that makes our marriage nothing more than a worthless piece of paper".
Woggle Posted December 1, 2021 Posted December 1, 2021 The purpose of marriage is not to protect yourself but when half of marriages end and women are the ones to end them in most situations I understand the need for extra insurance. If a woman truly loves a man she should want him to have that peace of mind. Marriage in this day and age is a very unstable investment and you need a safety net.
Carlon Posted December 1, 2021 Posted December 1, 2021 Just now, Woggle said: The purpose of marriage is not to protect yourself That's like saying the purpose of an accident is not to buy insurance.
chillii Posted December 1, 2021 Posted December 1, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Lauriebell82 said: Fears about marriage and divorce are one thing..a prenup is another. A lot of people think it's a matter of lack of trust or faith in their partner. And to flat out honest, I agree with that. Why else would you want to protect yourself from someone that you are promising to commit the rest of your life to? Yeah pretty well my feelings too, gross way to start your marriage tbh. Mind you , the horror stories out there buttttt, still. We were a team and still are now for my daughter , ex was over at my house today actually 9yrs later. When things didn't work out we worked together fairly, and of course with my daughter too to this day. No courts judges lawyers telling us what to do did it all ourselves. l'm engaged again now and have the exact same type of relationship in those ways with my partner now and she doesn't have an unfair bone in her body . Admittedly though in one way having to start over again once already , we both did, never wanna go there again. Still, my partner has a place back in her country l have my new one here , makes me sick thinking about it buttttt, what ifs, we'd both just go back to our lives as were with exception of anything we'd accumulated together since. Edited December 1, 2021 by chillii 1
basil67 Posted December 1, 2021 Posted December 1, 2021 5 hours ago, Woggle said: The purpose of marriage is not to protect yourself Many would disagree. As a long term defacto, I've been advised countless times that I should get married if for no other reason than to protect myself. And truth be told, if we moved to a state/country where our defacto relationship didn't have legal recognition, we would get married.
FMW Posted December 1, 2021 Posted December 1, 2021 Is the prenup issue the only reason it didn't work out with your ex? My guess is there were other issues of incompatability that would explain why you didn't stay together. If the breakup really was only about the prenup, I would be honest and say so. She needs to know you have such strong feelings about it. If she would have equally strong feelings on the opposite side, better to know now. Why previous relationships didn't work out is a fair topic of conversation when dating. You don't have to go into detail, but it's a reasonable topic unless you only date casually with no intention of the possibility of commitment.
Norwhal Posted December 1, 2021 Posted December 1, 2021 Save yourself time and effort. Make it clear from date one that you will never intend to marry a woman who earns less and who has less assets than you, it's a risk you're not willing to take because statistically speaking, marriage is betting against the house and there's nothing to gain and everything to lose (assuming she is in worse financial shape than you are).
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