Corduroy Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 Dated this girl I met online for about three weeks. Everything was great until I decided not talk to her for a couple of days just so I could take a break. So I decided to send her a text asking if she wanted to do something over the weekend. Didn’t hear from her for nearly 24 hours and she tells me she enjoyed our time together but she “sorta met someone” and she was going to pursue them instead. We said our goodbyes and unfollowed her on social media. It’s been over a week and she still follows me and watches my stories. I don’t know how to take it, does she not want to close the door completely? I would want date her still..
Foxhall Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 thats something I suppose, she is still interested in your stories, shes obviously been dating a few people and for now at least you are not the chosen one, I dont know, you could look on it "well never accept second best " she has lost her chance with you, or then again if shes hot it would be hard to resist a second chance, dont give up too easily can sometimes be the right play too. have to fight for her affections.
Author Corduroy Posted November 29, 2021 Author Posted November 29, 2021 6 minutes ago, Foxhall said: thats something I suppose, she is still interested in your stories, shes obviously been dating a few people and for now at least you are not the chosen one, I dont know, you could look on it "well never accept second best " she has lost her chance with you, or then again if shes hot it would be hard to resist a second chance, dont give up too easily can sometimes be the right play too. have to fight for her affections. I gave up on her way too easily, I was just hurt and didn’t want to fight to change her mind. Would it be a good idea to follow her again? Because yes, she is HOT!
Foxhall Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 I think so yes, you have still a few cards to play I imagine.
Brian1223 Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 I would hardy call it "keeping tabs" just because she is watching your stories. Social media is used so often in this day and age, I know myself that I just scroll aimlessly through many peoples stories without even realizing who's they are. I wouldn't take that as an indicator of interest, let it go. 1 1
chillii Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 Did you actually talk to her first about taking some time to yourself , or did you just do it ? Playing games will just get you games back so she's interested in somebody else atm anyway now but still checking your stuff, the bs people go on with here is mind boggling. Anyway if she is interested in somebody else , you can hardly go chasing her now but if she's still checking your stuff maybe she calls you back some time when whatever she is doing now blows up. But eh , bc she's hot , so what no other reason ? 3
ExpatInItaly Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 7 hours ago, Corduroy said: I don’t know how to take it, does she not want to close the door completely? She's keeping you on standby in case the other guy doesn't work out. That's all. 3
Alpacalia Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 (edited) 7 hours ago, Corduroy said: Dated this girl I met online for about three weeks. Everything was great until I decided not talk to her for a couple of days just so I could take a break. Take a break from what? I'm not sure what you thought would happen that you purposely ignored her. She met someone else during that time or was already in the process of dating someone. I wouldn't put too much stock in the rest of it. Just remove her from social media and move on. Edited November 29, 2021 by Alpaca 2
Author Corduroy Posted November 29, 2021 Author Posted November 29, 2021 11 hours ago, chillii said: Did you actually talk to her first about taking some time to yourself , or did you just do it ? Playing games will just get you games back so she's interested in somebody else atm anyway now but still checking your stuff, the bs people go on with here is mind boggling. Anyway if she is interested in somebody else , you can hardly go chasing her now but if she's still checking your stuff maybe she calls you back some time when whatever she is doing now blows up. But eh , bc she's hot , so what no other reason ? I just did it, got caught up with work. She never watched my stories until a few days ago. I thought about asking her if things didn’t work out with this other guy, if she’d give us another chance. Not only because she’s hot, but she has a great personality, hardworking, and my type.
ShyViolet Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 Looking at your stories on social media is not "keeping tabs." If your profile is public and/or you haven't blocked her, then she is free to look at it, as you're putting it out there for anyone to see. I think you're reading too much into this. 1
glows Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 2 hours ago, Corduroy said: Everything was great until I decided not talk to her for a couple of days just so I could take a break. ... I just did it, got caught up with work. She never watched my stories until a few days ago. I thought about asking her if things didn’t work out with this other guy, if she’d give us another chance. Not only because she’s hot, but she has a great personality, hardworking, and my type. Nothing warrants a 48 hour break if you are that interested in someone. And if you are too busy with work then, you could be too busy with "work" again and drop her. You're finding out what that feels like and I think it hurts you. Take a breather and perhaps reconsider whether dating is a good idea right now. If you go the route and suggest to see her again or try again if things with this other person doesn't work out, it may work but I wouldn't hold my breath. You've just showed her that now might not be a good time for you to date if work is the reason you couldn't respond or get back to her in time.
smackie9 Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 She went after someone else...that means you didn't make the cut. 1
Girl Fade Away Posted November 30, 2021 Posted November 30, 2021 (edited) Lol @ you needed a break. From what, you were dating a measly three weeks. What I think is you intentionally did not call for two days expecting SHE would then start chasing. She didn't, she dumped you. You reap what you sow mate. Next time, don't play games. Edited November 30, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 1 2
Author Corduroy Posted December 13, 2021 Author Posted December 13, 2021 Update. So she posted something online about taking her finals. I gave in and said “good luck.” She replied thanks with a blushing emoji. Hours later she liked a selfie from me from years ago lol. I don’t know if she’s seeing that other guy still, but she posted that she doesn’t have a date for a wedding she went to. So is this perhaps another shot???
glows Posted December 13, 2021 Posted December 13, 2021 You can try. What would you lose? Ask her out and be a gentleman please. Don’t ignore her for 48 hrs in the event she shows any interest. Ask her out to coffee instead of jumping straight to offering being her date at the wedding. That would seem awkward and why would you want to be someone’s date to a wedding only to see them party, drunk and not know where you stand as a couple. How confusing.
Wiseman2 Posted December 13, 2021 Posted December 13, 2021 2 hours ago, Corduroy said: So she posted something online about taking her finals. I gave in and said “good luck.” Delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. Don't keep scanning her social media. Why stay stuck in this through that?
Author Corduroy Posted December 13, 2021 Author Posted December 13, 2021 4 hours ago, glows said: You can try. What would you lose? Ask her out and be a gentleman please. Don’t ignore her for 48 hrs in the event she shows any interest. Ask her out to coffee instead of jumping straight to offering being her date at the wedding. That would seem awkward and why would you want to be someone’s date to a wedding only to see them party, drunk and not know where you stand as a couple. How confusing. She already went to the wedding without a date. She’s been posting “self care” posts, so maybe she’s going through it. I just want to straight up ask her if she’s available.
JRabbit Posted December 13, 2021 Posted December 13, 2021 You're an orbiter in her world...sorry to say...
Versacehottie Posted December 13, 2021 Posted December 13, 2021 7 hours ago, Corduroy said: Update. So she posted something online about taking her finals. I gave in and said “good luck.” She replied thanks with a blushing emoji. Hours later she liked a selfie from me from years ago lol. I don’t know if she’s seeing that other guy still, but she posted that she doesn’t have a date for a wedding she went to. So is this perhaps another shot??? I think she is toying with you in a way. She IS basically signaling IMO that you could take another shot...or that she wants the validation from you trying to take another shot. I think when you took a "break" she wanted to make you pay. It might have been playing games, although I'm sure if she's hot and in college she had guys waiting to date her so it could have been totally real as well. I think if you didn't give her an explanation for your "break" (big mistake for not telling her what was going on or that you need to concentrate on your studying or work for a couple of days or even a bigger talk where you explained a need for time alone or with guy friends, which IS understandable IMO)--well anyway I think if you didn't explain, she didn't feel the need to explain what she was doing, ie going on to mr. next up. On one hand I think she wanted to send the message that their are guys waiting in line so it could have been just a knee jerk reaction from her and her heart is really with you. Another idea is if she got angry really quickly and did that perhaps she didn't really know what mr next up was like and now she is disillusioned. The thing is you have to understand that she will likely react this sort of way in the future if things crop up with you two--that would be a bit of a red flag. For example, every time an issue comes up either that you feel you can't talk directly with each other about or that you are angry with each other about: *you are going to shut down and disappear *she is going to lash out and show you aka hurt you by making you "pay" for what you are missing. Neither of them is good communication. One question is why was she so retaliatory? Did you literally disappear without answering her texts, calls? Did you stop your pattern of how you contact her (imbedded question is why is it so one-sided IMO?) All things to think about. I think if you reach out you should commit to doing things differently next time if you got back together: more honest communication, more balanced relationship. Also if you reach out, my opinion is to man up and do it directly with a text or a call rather than just add her back on social media. That's pussyfooting around. If the balance between you two is out of whack, then act like a man to get her back--it will fix some of that. You can't put her on a pedestal just cause she is hot. That follow/unfollow game from a guy is just a no really--too babyish and feminine. Ball is in your court.
balletomane Posted December 17, 2021 Posted December 17, 2021 How old are you both? Obsessively analysing social media, taking "breaks" where you go radio silent, etc. does come across as very immature behaviour. It sounds like you were playing games and hoping she'd chase after you, which backfired. Now you're hoping she's playing games too. Maybe she is. Maybe she isn't. It doesn't matter. Be straightforward and clear about what you want, and don't date people who can't or won't give you the same clarity. 1
Recommended Posts