CalipsoRose Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 How would you feel if a guy you started talking to on a dating site for a couple weeks, sent you an unsolicited nearly nude picture of his body while he was standing in the mirror, and there's a towel covering his private bits? I havent met this guy yet because I've just been enjoying my time being single and not dating anyone, just getting to know myself better alone and working on healing a lot of past heartbreak trauma issues. I was planning on meeting him soon but haven't made a date yet. It was in my hands, since I told him all of this already. He took it well and said ok let me know when you're ready. I hadn't talked to him for a week at all. He messaged me about a shared interest we have, briefly had a conversation about it. That was it. The next day he sent me the mirror picture. I just said "Fit body!" and he said "Thanks". That was it. I was kind of waiting for a "sign" to see whether or not I should pursue something with him. I guess this was that sign. But how would you interpret this? Would you be offended and not see him? Or would you want to see him even more after that if he was attractive to you?
Hopeful714 Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 That stuff is so prevalent now. Personally I don’t like it and would say it’s is a sign if not a red flag. Seems like the guy thinks pretty highly of himself. He’s probably hoping your really into it. I’d be like yuck. He’s showing you the goods though seeing if you want to take him for spin. If you go out with him expect him to get sexual quickly. 5
ExpatInItaly Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 I would not appreciate this coming from a stranger I had never met, for a few reasons: 1) Needy and attention-seeking, and comes across as desperate for compliments. 2) Crosses sexual boundaries way too early. Next. 9 1
Wiseman2 Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 5 hours ago, CalipsoRose said: . I was planning on meeting him soon but haven't made a date yet. Ok. After a couple of weeks of messaging it's time to meet for coffee . There's to much talk about your past. Dating apps are not for therapy. As far as pics, unfortunately since you told him you feel too damaged to date right now, he may have put you in the "ok for sexting" pile. If this interaction is unappealing, delete and block him. Next time meet asap for coffee. Maintain your privacy and dignity. Don't discuss past relationship problems. Save that for trusted friends and family. If you are not ready to date,you may get timewasters and weirdos like this because you're not sure what you want or what belongs in the trashcan. 2
Blind-Sided Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 Block... and move on. (unless you are just looking for a hookup) 6
Author CalipsoRose Posted November 28, 2021 Author Posted November 28, 2021 25 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok. After a couple of weeks of messaging it's time to meet for coffee . There's to much talk about your past. Dating apps are not for therapy. As far as pics, unfortunately since you told him you feel too damaged to date right now, he may have put you in the "ok for sexting" pile. If this interaction is unappealing, delete and block him. Next time meet asap for coffee. Maintain your privacy and dignity. Don't discuss past relationship problems. Save that for trusted friends and family. If you are not ready to date,you may get timewasters and weirdos like this because you're not sure what you want or what belongs in the trashcan. I think I feel its best to be honest up front, but I think you're right. Its hard for me to distinguish between "genuinely connecting and opening up" as opposed to "treating someone like your therapist." There's a fine line. Still learning it. 1
Killian898 Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 7 minutes ago, smackie9 said: I have one word for this.....GROSS. What is it about the human body that offends you?! 1
FMW Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 @Killian898I'm not @smackie9, but I agree that it's gross. Not because I'm offended by the human body, but I would be offended by someone I've never met thinking that sending me that type of photo was appropriate unless I had indicated my interest in meeting them was just physical or sexual. Not everyone would have that reaction, obviously. But for me, yes, gross would be a fairly accurate description of how it would make me feel. Icky and disrespected would be a few other descriptive words. I would not have any further contact with someone who did that. It would be a very clear sign to me we would not be compatible. 10
Andy_K Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 He's seeing a distinct lack of interest from you since you've been chatting for weeks, haven't met him, and don't seem particularly keen on doing so any time soon. He's showing off to amp up your interest level and get a date. 3
Girl Fade Away Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Andy_K said: He's seeing a distinct lack of interest from you since you've been chatting for weeks, haven't met him, and don't seem particularly keen on doing so any time soon. He's showing off to amp up your interest level and get a date. I read this after I posted and agree that is most likely why he sent it. Edited November 28, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 1
smackie9 Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 If that's how a man seeks out attention for a date...I'm out. 10
smackie9 Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 2 hours ago, Killian898 said: What is it about the human body that offends you?! Ya it's not the human body I'm commenting about, it's the behavior. 3
Alpacalia Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 Sending half nude photos seems to be just a lame excuse to see if you're up for sex. Just forget this guy. 1
spiderowl Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 17 hours ago, CalipsoRose said: How would you feel if a guy you started talking to on a dating site for a couple weeks, sent you an unsolicited nearly nude picture of his body while he was standing in the mirror, and there's a towel covering his private bits? I havent met this guy yet because I've just been enjoying my time being single and not dating anyone, just getting to know myself better alone and working on healing a lot of past heartbreak trauma issues. I was planning on meeting him soon but haven't made a date yet. It was in my hands, since I told him all of this already. He took it well and said ok let me know when you're ready. I hadn't talked to him for a week at all. He messaged me about a shared interest we have, briefly had a conversation about it. That was it. The next day he sent me the mirror picture. I just said "Fit body!" and he said "Thanks". That was it. I was kind of waiting for a "sign" to see whether or not I should pursue something with him. I guess this was that sign. But how would you interpret this? Would you be offended and not see him? Or would you want to see him even more after that if he was attractive to you? It is your choice, CalipsoRose, but when guys have done similar things to me, sending these kinds of pictures, I dump them straightaway. I figure if that's what he's sending me, that's all he's interested in. I assume a guy who does that is incapable of a normal relationship because he does not have the emotional sensitivity to know what is acceptable with a relative stranger. 2
spiderowl Posted November 28, 2021 Posted November 28, 2021 3 hours ago, Andy_K said: He's seeing a distinct lack of interest from you since you've been chatting for weeks, haven't met him, and don't seem particularly keen on doing so any time soon. He's showing off to amp up your interest level and get a date. Strangely enough, I see it rather differently. I think because he thinks the OP is unlikely to meet him, he is tempted to cross boundaries and go too far. He is showing his real self and his lack of respect for women. He is also angrily showing her what she's missing. He has written the OP off for dating and so he's going to exploit the sexting, boundary-crossing angle as much as he can before she blocks him. 1
chillii Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 Desperate as , wth is he doing sending things like that when he hasn't even met you let alone know you but then again, according to a lot of the guys round here chicks send this stuff all the time too. Don't know how much of that l believe though butttttt, then again. Anyway , he sounds like a desperado to me. 2
Girl Fade Away Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 (edited) I'm confused now, did he send a nude? He sent what amounted to a shirtless pic which was pretty common when I did OLDing. I think he sent to amp up interest like @Andy_Kposted. Who is a man btw. Lol From the men I have spoken with about this, and reading some threads, some women respond favorably to it (shirtless pics) believe it or not, especially when the man had a great physique. So possibly that is what he was aiming for? Not saying doing so is classy or in good taste, but not meant to be offensive. Women do same for same reason. Send scantily clad half nude bikini shots. Just another take on the matter, but who knows you could be right too. Edited November 29, 2021 by Girl Fade Away
smackie9 Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 Even before the days of computers I remember guys would lift their shirt to me....it turned me off. It's a big red flag to me. Immature, insecure, full of themselves, show off, etc. not my kind of guy. 3
FMW Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 8 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said: I'm confused now, did he send a nude? On 11/28/2021 at 12:02 AM, CalipsoRose said: an unsolicited nearly nude picture of his body while he was standing in the mirror, and there's a towel covering his private bits? This would turn me off, doesn't matter if it was completely nude. The intent is the same in my book. 5
smackie9 Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 Ya it would be different if we were dating for awhile, intimate, BF/GF.
Alpacalia Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 (edited) C'mon. This was an unsolicited half nudie picture from a man that OP does not know. I could see if they were already dating but they have not even been out on a single date. But, can't blame the guy for trying because there are some women that don't mind that sort of thing and might be willing to indulge him. There's no right or wrong it's a matter of preference OP. Edited November 29, 2021 by Alpaca 2
Girl Fade Away Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Alpaca said: But, can't blame the guy for trying because there are some women that don't mind that sort of thing and might be willing to indulge him. My take as well Alpaca. One last ditch attempt to seduce her to meeting him, since she had been stalling. I understand her being turned off by it. She didn't appear to be all that taken with him to begin with. Edited November 29, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 1
Crazelnut Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 Ugh. Tacky, desperate, too thirsty. I'd tell him we're not compatible and move on. 2
glows Posted November 29, 2021 Posted November 29, 2021 On 11/27/2021 at 10:02 PM, CalipsoRose said: How would you feel if a guy you started talking to on a dating site for a couple weeks, sent you an unsolicited nearly nude picture of his body while he was standing in the mirror, and there's a towel covering his private bits? I havent met this guy yet because I've just been enjoying my time being single and not dating anyone, just getting to know myself better alone and working on healing a lot of past heartbreak trauma issues. I was planning on meeting him soon but haven't made a date yet. It was in my hands, since I told him all of this already. He took it well and said ok let me know when you're ready. I hadn't talked to him for a week at all. He messaged me about a shared interest we have, briefly had a conversation about it. That was it. The next day he sent me the mirror picture. I just said "Fit body!" and he said "Thanks". That was it. I was kind of waiting for a "sign" to see whether or not I should pursue something with him. I guess this was that sign. But how would you interpret this? Would you be offended and not see him? Or would you want to see him even more after that if he was attractive to you? To be frank, I'm at an age where this is neither entertaining nor offensive. It would be deleted after some unapologetic inspection. Most importantly I would not carry on talking to someone longer than 2-3 days without meeting face to face. You're inviting these kinds of behaviours if you seem unsure or not confident enough to date.
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