Blacksheep33 Posted November 25, 2021 Posted November 25, 2021 So today is Thanksgiving and me and my boyfriend are not spending it together. He lives with me but prefers to go someplace else while my family comes over for dinner. He won’t be with us. He’s just not a family person and doesn’t make an effort with my family or just joins us on special occasions out of obligation. Our relationship has been rocky all the time and he’s a very dramatic guy who tends to fight or get mad over everything. I still tried to understand him and loved him immensely. I put up with his behavior for the entire 3 years he has lived with me. However, in the past week I keep thinking about an old crush I used to like. I feel extremely guilty because I’m still with my boyfriend but honestly I don’t see us going anywhere. I want to feel loved and I feel as if I gave my boyfriend my love for nothing. I hate feeling this way. I didn’t want to stop loving him and have my thoughts on someone else but I feel like I wasted my time with him. I opened my heart only to get hurt because he’s the one who’s pushing me to stop loving him with his attitude. Should I feel guilty? I don’t know if I’m just confused and that’s why I’m thinking of my old crush. I hate it because I want my heart to be only for one man but my boyfriend constantly gets mad at me and doesn’t seem to want a healthy relationship. I’ve been wanting to get out of the relationship sometimes but I truly loved him. I couldn’t let him go but now I feel like I’m ready to love on and feel sad about it. your thoughts????
glows Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 (edited) Basing your future on emotions alone is confusing. You both live together so what are your lives like? Do you see a future with him at all or is he not someone you see yourself with because of certain qualities he lacks or differences in goals or lifestyle? Do you agree on thoughts like marriage or children? Where do you see yourself in all this in the long term? He's trying to get away from your family for his own reasons. Not being "a family person" is an awful excuse. It would only show to me, personally, that a person isn't interested in my life or the people in it. He/she wants to pick and choose like a buffet table what they like about me and pretend that the rest doesn't exist. We make sacrifices and there's give and take in relationships, especially when you're invested in each other and want to see the relationship thrive. If you don't sense that in your partner, you may have to make a decision that's best for you. I wouldn't worry about the crush. Focus your current issues and living situation. Edited November 26, 2021 by glows
ShyViolet Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 From everything you said, it's time to kick this guy out and finally break up. This is a bad relationship. I think you know that. Yes you've wasted a lot of time with him. Now the smart thing to do is not waste any more. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 7 hours ago, Blacksheep33 said: I feel like I wasted my time with him It's not a waste if you learn something from it. And that lesson might indeed be how to leave toxic relationships. This isn't working and despite how you feel about him, it's clear that it's not mutual. It's time to end this, because it's going to come to a firery end one day anyway.
smackie9 Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 You can be lonely even when in a relationship. You given up way too much. Time to kick him to the curb.
stillafool Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 (edited) There's nothing wrong with breaking up a relationship that is going absolutely nowhere fast. Just don't break up to run to an ex who you didn't make it with prior and to not be alone. Just move on by yourself and meet someone new. Edited November 26, 2021 by stillafool 1
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