Old Aussie Posted November 24, 2021 Posted November 24, 2021 I'm 55 years old. So for ladies, at what age would you say you were too young to have a relationship with somebody my age? I know a lot of men make excuses for chasing younger women, often much younger. But main reason I ask at this point is that the lady I'm friends with, and would like to be closer to, is early 40's, I believe around 12 years my junior. And I realise that may be an issue. I'm not entirely comfortable with it myself, but she values me for who I am, which is nice. And lets be honest, I don't meet a lot of nice eligible women.
stillafool Posted November 24, 2021 Posted November 24, 2021 I feel that once people are 35/36 they can date whatever age they want. They are full grown adults at that point and perfectly capable of making the right choice for their life. Yes a woman in her 40s is appropriate for you. IMHO 1
Weezy1973 Posted November 24, 2021 Posted November 24, 2021 Every woman is going to be different. The only way you find out is by asking her. 1
ShyViolet Posted November 24, 2021 Posted November 24, 2021 I personally don't think that's a big deal at all. It's very possible she'd be ok with it.
Gaeta Posted November 24, 2021 Posted November 24, 2021 Above 40 she has enough life experience to know what she wants and who she wants to date. 2
Wiseman2 Posted November 24, 2021 Posted November 24, 2021 1 hour ago, Old Aussie said: I believe around 12 years my junior. And I realise that may be an issue. I'm not entirely comfortable with it myself, but she values me for who I am, which is nice. And lets be honest, I don't meet a lot of nice eligible women. It may not have to do with age just that she sees you as a good friend. 1
Calmandfocused Posted November 24, 2021 Posted November 24, 2021 3 hours ago, Old Aussie said: I'm 55 years old. So for ladies, at what age would you say you were too young to have a relationship with somebody my age? I know a lot of men make excuses for chasing younger women, often much younger. But main reason I ask at this point is that the lady I'm friends with, and would like to be closer to, is early 40's, I believe around 12 years my junior. And I realise that may be an issue. I'm not entirely comfortable with it myself, but she values me for who I am, which is nice. And lets be honest, I don't meet a lot of nice eligible women. A 12 year age difference at your ages is nothing. Saying that It all depends on your life stages. Are they aligned? For example if you have children are they roughly the same age/ generation? That could be a deal breaker for many.
Foxhall Posted November 24, 2021 Posted November 24, 2021 6 hours ago, Old Aussie said: But main reason I ask at this point is that the lady I'm friends with, and would like to be closer to, is early 40's, I believe around 12 years my junior She seems a nice option for you buddy, go for it- its now or never
Tinie Posted November 24, 2021 Posted November 24, 2021 I don't think it's a big deal at all from a bystander's perspective. My husband is 10 years older than me. My ex before him was 15 years older. The ex before that was 8 years older. Age gaps don't have to be an issue if you both are on the same page in life.
basil67 Posted November 25, 2021 Posted November 25, 2021 With regards to being socially acceptable, the rule of thumb is 'half your age plus 7". This would make a woman in her mid-30s acceptable. Practically speaking, any woman who's had a bit of life experience should be fine.
spiderowl Posted November 25, 2021 Posted November 25, 2021 I think that age gap is ok, if you are both on the same page. However, if she is still hoping to have children or something, it may not be ok. I know men are capable of fathering children later than women are usually capable of having them, but you'd need tons of energy and a commitment to being a father. Is that what you want? Unless you two really do fall in love, I would not expect it to last. You are at different stages in life and that may not suit either of you in the long term.
Yosemite Posted November 25, 2021 Posted November 25, 2021 (edited) Different people view it differently. The only person's whose thoughts on this matter are hers. She may not see it as a big deal or she may see you as closer to 60 while she's only a couple of years away from her 30's. The only way to find out is to either talk about it with her or ask her on an unambiguous date. You probably wouldn't date a 67 yr old which is the same number of years older than you that you're estimating that you are older than this woman. So, you can't expect her to automatically be willing to date someone 12 yrs older than her. Also, you may have guessed her age wrong, if she's 36 or 38, she may not want to date someone close to 20 yrs older than her. The only way to know is to ask her what she thinks about it. Edited November 25, 2021 by Yosemite 3
Author Old Aussie Posted November 25, 2021 Author Posted November 25, 2021 Yeah, I agree about being on the same "life page" It's where I find it really difficult. I find that a huge majority of "available" women my age are very much into the "been there, done that" stage and they're not really interested in a marriage or similar relationship, but are looking to retire and spend their time travelling and "having fun." I'm not ready to retire I doubt I'll even think about it for at least 10 years.
Weezy1973 Posted November 25, 2021 Posted November 25, 2021 37 minutes ago, Old Aussie said: I find that a huge majority of "available" women my age are very much into the "been there, done that" stage and they're not really interested in a marriage or similar relationship, but are looking to retire and spend their time travelling and "having fun." And I’m sure there are women older than you looking for the same thing you are. I wouldn’t even worry about age. Just focus on compatibility and you’ll be fine.
Andy_K Posted November 25, 2021 Posted November 25, 2021 I wouldn't bat an eyelid if I saw couple aged fortysomething and fiftysomething in public. Hell, depending on how they present themeselves, there's a good chance I might not be able to even tell there was an age gap. What does that mean? It's perfectly normal and common, so don't let it become an obstacle for you. 2 1
Recommended Posts