Women pulling away being cold

[Randysavage88]

I bought my girlfriend a promise ring and she exchanged it because people kept telling her it looked like a engagement ring. She only told me after I asked where’s your ring. We also not talking for a few weeks.Should I be upset?

Edited November 24, 2021 by Randysavage88
Adding more

[Randysavage88]

My girlfriend and I have been good and very happy and romantic since we met. Now all a sudden she’s being cold with responses and pulling away. Is this normal with women?

[glows]

No, not really. How long have you been dating and what has changed recently?

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Randysavage88 said:

I bought my girlfriend a promise ring and she exchanged it 

What kind of ring did she exchange it for?  How old is she? How long have you been dating?

Was it that she wanted a different style or was it a backhanded way of implying it's not that meaningful because she would rather have an engagement ring?

[Randysavage88]

I just started noticing. I try and msg a lot to see how she’s doing. I maybe say love you a few times. She’s was mostly being cold after I went on vacation. We’ve been together for 7 months 

[basil67]

Pulling away and being cold is not uncommon from either gender if they are sufficiently annoyed with their partner.

Sounds like something happened when you went on vacation.  Something you either did or didn't do.  Or she found someone else.  But given the brevity of your posts, I can't begin to make a guess.

How does the promise ring fit into the story?    Why are you only messaging to see how she's doing....is she refusing to see you in person?

 

Edited November 24, 2021 by basil67

[Randysavage88]

I’m not sure because when I bought it she was there with me and she picked so I don’t get it. All a sudden when people say oh looks like an engagement ring. Why would others opinion Matter. It’s been about 1 year

[Randysavage88]

If there’s someone else wouldn’t you atleast break up the proper way. 

[Randysavage88]

3 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Pulling away and being cold is not uncommon from either gender if they are sufficiently annoyed with their partner.

Sounds like something happened when you went on vacation.  Something you either did or didn't do.  Or she found someone else.  But given the brevity of your posts, I can't begin to make a guess.

How does the promise ring fit into the story?  

 

We had this convo at dinner before I left on vacation and she told me

[glows]

Ask her out and see her in person to clear the air. Don't discuss anything tense over text or jump to any conclusions. Texting can be misconstrued. Take this as an opportunity to learn more about your partner. 

What is the promise ring for? It is not a year since you've dated. Why would she care what others think about the jewellery?

[Randysavage88]

Things were moving fast and I thought giving the ring would change things. That’s what I said why do others opinion matter because she was happy when I gave it to her 

[Wiseman2]

Just now, Randysavage88 said:

Things were moving fast and I thought giving the ring would change things. 

Change what? 7 mos dating is a good time to observe how compatible you are and how things are going. 

Why was she annoyed about the vacation thing? Did you blow off communication?  Was it with your family? Does she think you were screwing around while away?

You probably already know why she's angry. But ask her.

[Randysavage88]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Change what? 7 mos dating is a good time to observe how compatible you are and how things are going. 

Why was she annoyed about the vacation thing? Did you blow off communication?  Was it with your family? Does she think you were screwing around while away?

You probably already know why she's angry. But ask her.

I was with family. I texted as soon as I landed and she was giving me one word answers.

[Wiseman2]

Just now, Randysavage88 said:

 I texted as soon as I landed and she was giving me one word answers.

So incommunicado the whole time? Yeah you're toast if that's the case.

 

[Randysavage88]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

So incommunicado the whole time? Yeah you're toast if that's the case.

 

Meaning?

[basil67]

38 minutes ago, Randysavage88 said:

We had this convo at dinner before I left on vacation and she told me

She told you what?

Honestly, if your communication with her is as lacking in detail as what you're writing here, I'm not surprised that you've got problems

[chillii]

You said it's been 2 wks but what , you still haven't gone to see her in all this time to talk and find out ?

l may've thought it was about your vacation seems as she basically stopped when you landed there, some people get really sulky when one goes away without them, how old is she? But at any rate , not talking two wks, more to it.

Edited November 24, 2021 by chillii

[Old Aussie]

So she took your promise ring back to the store for a refund?
Then she chucked the sads when you went to visit your family, and is punishing with the cold shoulder?

Assuming you're both still in high school, this is to be expected, and is just part and parcel of being a teenager.

However, since I'm guessing you're not, you have to decide whether you want a relationship with somebody this immature?
And if not, how you got into one?

Move on, learn the warning signs, try not to make the same mistake again.
 

[dramafreezone]

12 hours ago, Randysavage88 said:

My girlfriend and I have been good and very happy and romantic since we met. Now all a sudden she’s being cold with responses and pulling away. Is this normal with women?

I think it is normal to an extent.  No one you date is going to be red hot all the time.  There's a reason for the saying "familiarity breeds contempt."  You hang around someone too much you're just going to plain get tired of seeing them.

Worst thing you can do is chase when she wants space.  Just give it to her and do your own thing.  Every relationship needs space.

Now if you did something and this behavior followed, then that's a problem.  If everything was going along normally and she just pulled away, then I think that happens and you just have to let it happen.  You cannot smother someone with attention all the time, they're going to get tired of it.

Edited November 24, 2021 by dramafreezone

[Foxhall]

Randy Savage (used to love the wrestling back in the day!)

Your vague enough with the information or more info provided on a different thread is it?

From what I gather you simply have spooked her with the ring- that it was a little over the top- implied your moving faster than she wants?

scale it back go on fun dates, enjoy others company, and no need to be bombarding her with gifts just yet.

 

 

[Lotsgoingon]

 

It's quite telling that you haven't directly asked this question to her. That tells me the relationship is shallow and not real and truly intimate.

Contrary to your claim that everything is going well, everything cannot be going well if you can't go up to her and ask what the heck is going on. That means you're afraid of her for some reason. 

[spiderowl]

19 hours ago, Randysavage88 said:

I bought my girlfriend a promise ring and she exchanged it because people kept telling her it looked like a engagement ring. She only told me after I asked where’s your ring. We also not talking for a few weeks.Should I be upset?

I don't know about upset because I don't know the context.  If she has never given you any indication she wants to get married to you in the future, then a promise ring is a bit premature.  I know it is not an engagement ring but some might see it as being a serious commitment.   Whatever happened, she should never have exchanged a ring without your permission.  That is a clear sign she is not accepting what you want her to accept - a long-term commitment.

She's not ready for the same kind of commitment as you.  Maybe you are both too young?  

Why are you not talking?  Was it her choice not to speak with you?  It sounds like you pushed things too quickly and now she has backed off.

Edited November 25, 2021 by spiderowl

[Alpacalia]

Because your post was a little vague, I'm not sure how relevant this is to your problem.

But when I've "pulled away" in the past, it's been because I saw or heard something that worried me, or because I thought he wasn't being sincere with me.

Perhaps if you provided more context, you could gain a better understanding of your position.

[smackie9]

Reason A) Too much too fast. Once they all said "engagement" it scared the hell out of her.

Reason B) you did or didn't do something that you are not telling us and she's mad/disappointed/crushed by whatever it was.