chillii Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 (edited) Yeah l'm afraid that was my first thought too when hearing those things she says. Last time l heard that stuff from a woman that wasn't my partner , 3mths later she wasn't even answering messages anymore. Not to say she didn't mean the nice things she's said about you , more regarding the closest friend always be there for you stuff. l'm sorry to hear it isn't going anywhere though but at least you tried and now you know. Edited November 26, 2021 by chillii
Author Old Aussie Posted November 26, 2021 Author Posted November 26, 2021 2 hours ago, Old Aussie said: And sadly, what I've come to realise, is that "You're such a great guy, you're my closest friend, you mean so much to me, we are so much alike, I'll always be here for you" is just a bunch of meaningless talk. What I meant to mention, in this regard, is that I have started to notice that the friendship is a little one-sided. She's very quick to reach out when she needs support, or wants help, or just wants to talk, or is bored. But when I want to talk, she's always busy doing something. She doesn't currently work, but spends a lot of timing "running to appointments", "helping her neighbour", or "walking to clear her head."
Author Old Aussie Posted November 26, 2021 Author Posted November 26, 2021 2 hours ago, Old Aussie said: But I guess this is a new world of relationships that I don't fully understand. And I suppose, why not, women should be just as liberated, to behave the way men have been behaving for centuries. So I guess that "close friendships" and "romantic relations" are now fully independent. And just to clarify that, she has told me how she hooks up with guys off facebook. And of course she complains about them. So I hoped maybe she was happy to be moving in a different direction with me. She friended me on facebook. Her pics are mostly selfies of her in bikinis or underwear. And no, for the record, I don't think that makes her any more or less likely. I just hoped that maybe she was done with facebook-hookups, and that we had a shot at something.
Author Old Aussie Posted November 26, 2021 Author Posted November 26, 2021 Not that she is the only woman out there, nor even a good standard by which to judge all women. But my simple problem is that despite all the woman wanting "Genuine Guys" and bemoaning the lack thereof, so far none have given me the chance to prove that I am. SO I thought maybe with her, I at least had a start.
Alpacalia Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 (edited) So, based on how you describe her, she goes around friending random males on social media and posting photographs of herself in bikinis and underwear? It appears that she was more interested in building a fan base than anything else. I'm sorry you got caught up in that OP. 17 minutes ago, Old Aussie said: And just to clarify that, she has told me how she hooks up with guys off facebook. And of course she complains about them. So I hoped maybe she was happy to be moving in a different direction with me. She friended me on facebook. Her pics are mostly selfies of her in bikinis or underwear. Edited November 26, 2021 by Alpaca 3
Author Old Aussie Posted November 26, 2021 Author Posted November 26, 2021 She's still a lovely person And I'm chuffed to have her as a friend. And I'm still hoping that our FRIENDSHIP continues to grow. I like hanging out with her, and just talking. I'm just hoping that our friendship also becomes a bit more 2-way, and that that we're able to hang out a bit more. Don't know how I will feel "as a friend" if she keeps up with the facebook hookups, but will cross that bridge when I get to it.
Alpacalia Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 40 minutes ago, Old Aussie said: She's still a lovely person And I'm chuffed to have her as a friend. And I'm still hoping that our FRIENDSHIP continues to grow. I like hanging out with her, and just talking. I'm just hoping that our friendship also becomes a bit more 2-way, and that that we're able to hang out a bit more. Don't know how I will feel "as a friend" if she keeps up with the facebook hookups, but will cross that bridge when I get to it. Maintaining a friendship with someone when you have romantic and/or sexual feelings for that person, as it appears you have, is exceedingly tough. And maybe you're thinking that by being her friend, you'll one day become one of those men she "hooks up" with on Facebook. So, how do you see your friendship evolving into a more two-way street? In any case, if you think you can take her talking to you about men she might be hooking up with, that's something you'll need to be prepared for if/when that time comes. And you may discover that it is too much for you to bear, which will almost certainly mean the end of your friendship. 3
Sun Seeker Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 2 hours ago, Old Aussie said: She's still a lovely person And I'm chuffed to have her as a friend. And I'm still hoping that our FRIENDSHIP continues to grow. I like hanging out with her, and just talking. I'm just hoping that our friendship also becomes a bit more 2-way, and that that we're able to hang out a bit more. Don't know how I will feel "as a friend" if she keeps up with the facebook hookups, but will cross that bridge when I get to it. You are putting way too much importance in being friends with her, it's a waste of time. Women who you are romantically interested in, exist to date, or nothing at all. Not to be friends with, what exactly are you gaining? Nothing. Don't you have any male friends to do friends stuff with? The moment she finds someone serious to be with, you will be dropped like a hot potato. Better you drop her first and stop hoping that something more will develop between you both if you stay friends. 1
chillii Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 5 hours ago, Old Aussie said: What I meant to mention, in this regard, is that I have started to notice that the friendship is a little one-sided. She's very quick to reach out when she needs support, or wants help, or just wants to talk, or is bored. But when I want to talk, she's always busy doing something. She doesn't currently work, but spends a lot of timing "running to appointments", "helping her neighbour", or "walking to clear her head." Funny thing ,l noticed the same sort of things with that one l mentioned.
smackie9 Posted November 26, 2021 Posted November 26, 2021 If it's so one sided, it's not a friendship, she's being a emotional succubus. She baits with compliments, shows a little ankle to keep you on the hook.
spiderowl Posted November 27, 2021 Posted November 27, 2021 She can't be oblivious to the fact that you like her and are interested in her. She may wonder if you are interested in more than friendship but until you make it clearer she won't be sure. You could ask her how she feels about going on a date. If she is not interested in 'that way', I think she will brush it off and come up with some sort of excuse. As long as you show her you will still be her friend whatever she decides, I don't think she will be too worried. Friendships can and do turn into more at times, as people realise they would not be happy without each other's time and company. Intimacy is about a lot more than just physical things; it is about sharing, friendship, fun, support and kindness.
chillii Posted November 27, 2021 Posted November 27, 2021 (edited) l think he did try going on things he's said above now , but it was a no go. Anyway , wouldn't be too worried op , you can do a lot better than someone that's so iffy about even spending time together as a friend , hooking up on fb and splashing underwear photos all over the place at her age. She sounds shallow as hell and sorry man but l wouldn't trust her as far as you could youknow what tbh. Edited November 27, 2021 by chillii
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