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So I think I might have been rejected?


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  • Author
Posted
2 hours ago, Alpaca said:

Maybe you just have a dash of uncertainty about her because it's still very new and maybe you're starting to really like her.

Which is completely normal.

Sometimes it stems from self-doubt and personal insecurity other times there are reasons that are being given by the other person to make us feel that way.

So you kind of have to figure out which is which.

I think it’s mainly from me. I haven’t noticed anything from her side that would suggest I should worry or anything. 
 

This kind of thing has happened to me in the past, with someone I really liked, and I really don’t want to make the same mistakes. 
 

She’s fallen really ill now, she sent me a voicemail this morning saying “Hey babe, as you can hear I’m really ill, I hope I haven’t given it to you”

Posted

Did you call her to see if she needs anything?

Posted
4 hours ago, Sgthaytham said:

I think it’s mainly from me. I haven’t noticed anything from her side that would suggest I should worry or anything. 
 

This kind of thing has happened to me in the past, with someone I really liked, and I really don’t want to make the same mistakes. 
 

She’s fallen really ill now, she sent me a voicemail this morning saying “Hey babe, as you can hear I’m really ill, I hope I haven’t given it to you”

Okay.

Then simply express your sympathies and ask if there is anything you can do.

She'll think you're a good person who cares.

  • Author
Posted
3 hours ago, Alpaca said:

Okay.

Then simply express your sympathies and ask if there is anything you can do.

She'll think you're a good person who cares.

I joked that her voice still sounds beautiful to me. She laughed. I let her know that once she gets better she can get in touch and we can do something fun. 
 

Her flatmate (a friend of mine too) is taking care of her. She hasn’t left her bed the whole day. 

Posted
43 minutes ago, Sgthaytham said:

I let her know that once she gets better she can get in touch and we can do something fun. 

Please do check on her. Don't wait for her to get better and call you. And if there's something small you can do (e.g. picking up meds from the pharmacy or something) to help out, it wouldn't hurt. 

I'm getting the sense from this post and the ones about going dutch that she's self-sufficient (or whatever the word is) and likes to fend for herself and you're a "go with the flow" kind of guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. But the little gestures that show someone you care about them do matter.

  • Like 1
Posted
20 hours ago, Sgthaytham said:

Ngl I struggle with doubts quite often. Those doubts often go away when I see her in person. I have been working on them, though. 
 

A big part of me wants to relax and take it easy, but there’s a small part that’s trying to convince me she doesn’t, or she’s playing with me or whatever. 

I may be wrong, but it seems likelier to me that she's the one who'll get hurt. It sounds like she's really into you. She's physically and verbally demonstrative, she doesn't want to impose... However, when you describe her actions, you sound more like an objective bystander watching from a distance and dispassionately assessing her. 

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Sgthaytham said:

I joked that her voice still sounds beautiful to me. She laughed. I let her know that once she gets better she can get in touch and we can do something fun. 
 

Her flatmate (a friend of mine too) is taking care of her. She hasn’t left her bed the whole day. 

The joking thing is adorable.

And, nice of you for checking in on her to see how she's feeling.

Oh, you're having her flatmate keep an eye on her, are you? (lol)

 

Edited by Alpaca
  • Author
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Alpaca said:

The joking thing is adorable.

And, nice of you for checking in on her to see how she's feeling.

Oh, you're having her flatmate keep an eye on her, are you? (lol)

 

I like this teasing, having fun and making people laugh… I’m never really serious… and this is ten-fold with women I’m interested or dating. 
 

I feel like dating should be fun, nothing negative or too serious. 
 

When I can make her laugh and she playfully hits me, it’s just the best. 
 

For instance, the morning after I had stayed the night at hers, she was like “Omg your eyes are so pretty” and I went “tell me something I don’t know” and she laughed and slapped me. 
 

I really hope things work out between us and we can keep dating because I feel something good brewing. 
 

No, I’m not using her flatmate / my friend to spy on her or anything. 
 

She actually works for the same company as me, and we have this call with some other people we both know, and she told me that my date was in bed all day but that she’s on the mend. 

Edited by Sgthaytham
Posted
55 minutes ago, Sgthaytham said:

I like this teasing, having fun and making people laugh… I’m never really serious… and this is ten-fold with women I’m interested or dating. 
 

I feel like dating should be fun, nothing negative or too serious. 
 

When I can make her laugh and she playfully hits me, it’s just the best. 
 

For instance, the morning after I had stayed the night at hers, she was like “Omg your eyes are so pretty” and I went “tell me something I don’t know” and she laughed and slapped me. 
 

I really hope things work out between us and we can keep dating because I feel something good brewing. 
 

No, I’m not using her flatmate / my friend to spy on her or anything. 
 

She actually works for the same company as me, and we have this call with some other people we both know, and she told me that my date was in bed all day but that she’s on the mend. 

That's fantastic.

At beginning, dating should be fun.

It takes time to make connections, and it looks that the two of you are on the right track.

You'll learn more about each other as time goes on, and you'll be able to tell whether you're long-term compatible. Keep a watch out for any red flags, and if they do arise, cross the bridge when the time comes.

But, for now, enjoy the getting-to-know-you moments and try not to be concerned about what will happen next.

  • Author
Posted (edited)

She’s just sent me a message asking me if I wanted to go to hers for dinner tonight!

 

Edited by Sgthaytham
  • Like 1
Posted
38 minutes ago, Sgthaytham said:

She’s just sent me a message asking me if I wanted to go to hers for dinner tonight!

 

That's cool.

But, is there a reason you are both having so many at home dates?

 

  • Author
Posted
21 hours ago, Alpaca said:

That's cool.

But, is there a reason you are both having so many at home dates?

 

We’re a bit strapped for cash atm. End up of the month kind of thing

Posted (edited)
16 minutes ago, Sgthaytham said:

We’re a bit strapped for cash atm. End up of the month kind of thing

I get that when you are truly into each other, you want to spend the majority of your time having lots and plenty of wild sex and sex the skin off each other.

There are a lot of things you two can do together too that don't necessarily require a lot of money.

I say this because you two started off pretty hot and heavy and that tends to cloud things a bit.

Edited by Alpaca
  • Like 2
Posted

Seems like she is interested, hopefully someone who takes her out and sweeps her off her feet doesn't show up and ruin your plans .

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  • Author
Posted

Well, she’s just sent me a video of her signing one of my favourite songs of all time “La chanson des vieux amants”. 
 

She has a really good voice, and I’m one hell of a lucky man. 

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted

She's invited me over again for Friday, but I've had to decline because I'm going to watch a football game. We're seeing eachother the next day, so it's all good. 

  • Like 1
Posted

That's great, OP!

I was just thinking of posting the other day asking how it was going with the two of you?

Posted
On 11/29/2021 at 3:01 PM, Sgthaytham said:

Well, she’s just sent me a video of her signing one of my favourite songs of all time “La chanson des vieux amants”. 
 

She has a really good voice, and I’m one hell of a lucky man. 

You need talent to sing Jacques Brel. Enjoy every moment of it 🙂

 

  • Author
Posted
13 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

That's great, OP!

I was just thinking of posting the other day asking how it was going with the two of you?

Good good thanks! 

Sounds like her and her friend have been talking (good stuff) about me haha... She's sad I can't see her Friday 

 

  • Author
Posted
4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You need talent to sing Jacques Brel. Enjoy every moment of it 🙂

 

French isn't her first language, but I really liked it. I know it was for me, though and that took some balls

 

  • Like 1
Posted
2 hours ago, Sgthaytham said:

She's invited me over again for Friday, but I've had to decline because I'm going to watch a football game. We're seeing eachother the next day, so it's all good. 

It looks like the roles are reversed here.  SHE is pursuing, leading, and YOU are following.  That's cool if it works for both of you.   Which also explains why she prefers to pay. 

I agree it's all good, have fun, enjoy!  ❤️

Posted
6 minutes ago, Sgthaytham said:

Good good thanks! 

Sounds like her and her friend have been talking (good stuff) about me haha... She's sad I can't see her Friday 

 

Yay!

Oh, that's always a good sign...

Well, men and their football, that's serious business. (🏈)

I guess she'll just have to see you afterwards!

  • Author
Posted
15 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Yay!

Oh, that's always a good sign...

Well, men and their football, that's serious business. (🏈)

I guess she'll just have to see you afterwards!

She needs a little more patience 😜

It's actually football (soccer). I live in Portugal 

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

It looks like the roles are reversed here.  SHE is pursuing, leading, and YOU are following.  That's cool if it works for both of you.   Which also explains why she prefers to pay. 

I agree it's all good, have fun, enjoy!  ❤️

The roles have reversed. 

First few dates I contact her, but when she gets in touch with me I assume she wants to meet so I ask her out. 

I don't think she's 'leading' per se... But she it definitely seems like she wants to see me more often now

Edited by Sgthaytham
Posted
57 minutes ago, Sgthaytham said:

She needs a little more patience 😜

It's actually football (soccer). I live in Portugal 

Do you find that she's coming on a bit too strong?

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