poppyfields Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Sgthaytham said: It was clear to me that her interest was growing for a large part, and that's why she initiated more. I absolutely agree with you, and never said I didn't. Perhaps "borderline lovebombing" was the wrong phrase, all I meant was that it was obvious she had extremely high interest and sometimes when people start out with such a high interest, their interest dies as quickly as it began. It's all speculation at this point and often times at the end of a relationship we are left with many unanswered questions that we just have to accept and move on. Find closure within. Edited January 19, 2022 by poppyfields
Author Sgthaytham Posted January 19, 2022 Author Posted January 19, 2022 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: I absolutely agree with you, and never said I didn't. Perhaps "borderline lovebombing" was the wrong phrase, all I meant was that it was obvious she had extremely high interest and sometimes when people start out with such a high interest, their interest dies as quickly as it began. That's all... I'm sorry if I'm coming across as confrontational, I know I can sometimes... I feel like when someone's interest is high, the more you can do to lower it... the lower their interest, the less you can do. However, obviously there are things you can say, as in my case, and do that can ruin it altogether. I don't think I will ever truly understand why I said it to her, because all I wanted was the absolute opposite. If I ever get these sort of thoughts again with another woman I will teach myself to bite my tongue.
Alpacalia Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 (edited) 5 hours ago, Sgthaytham said: OK so I think you misunderstood who reached out to me recently to ask why I was MIA. Its not my ex, it's her close friend and flatmate - who happens to be kind of friends with me. I'm fully aware of the damage caused when I told her that we should see other people and of course I take fully and unreservedly responsibility. She broke up with me, and that told me she wants space, which of course I will give. She had made her mind up. That's why I let her know she could get in touch if she changes her mind. Oh, sorry. I thought that you meant your ex reached out to you directly. Thank you for clarifying that for me. And, I don't think you're coming across as confrontational as mentioned above. I also don't think she was being ambiguous with the "I feel like we're going somewhere I don't like." It seems to me she said that in response to you saying that you wanted to date other people (even though we know that's not what you actually meant at the time) but of course she wouldn't like where things were going after that was said. 2 hours ago, Sgthaytham said: In fact, I thank everyone else too. Yes, others here have helped too. So, thank you for that. Edited January 19, 2022 by Alpaca
poppyfields Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 (edited) @Sgthaytham, if there is one thing I have learned throughout these years of dating and having relationships, is that things are often NOT as they appear to be. Here, it might appear she broke it off because of your comment and that may seem like the obvious assumption to some people, however unless you have a conversation with her and clarify, you just don't know for sure. I am a firm believer in direct communication, which is why I found her break up message ambiguous. It could be taken in so many different ways imo. In my life, things that I assumed to be true based on a particular comment or action a man I was dating took turned out to be something entirely different from what I had originally assumed. That said, I do think this is done and you should let it go. Edited January 19, 2022 by poppyfields
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