Otter2569 Posted November 19, 2021 Posted November 19, 2021 (edited) How do you tactfully ask a woman to post more face pics without sounding shallow or like a creep? I recently joined an online dating site and have a nice conversation going but this woman has only one profile pic. In it she is wearing a hat that shades her face. It's also a full body shot (which looks good) - this makes it even harder to see what she really looks like. Edited November 19, 2021 by Otter2569
glows Posted November 19, 2021 Posted November 19, 2021 I would skip that and ask her out to coffee. It would be less than an hour of your time and you'll verify in person. 4
Killian898 Posted November 19, 2021 Posted November 19, 2021 (edited) Given that everyone is carrying a hi-res camera with them 24/7 these days, and given the amount of selfies and photos women take etc., she likely has thousands she could potentially have put up and which would show you exactly what she looks like. However for some reason she has chosen to post only one photo and also that one photo also doesn’t quite give you a clear idea of what she looks like. My admittedly harsh (!) assessment is that she either does not look all that great, or alternatively she doesn’t want anyone to recognise her on that online dating site. If your own profile photo(s) is/are clear and leaves her in no doubt about what you look like then I think it’s perfectly justified for you to ask her to share an alternate photo which shows you exactly what she looks like. Edited November 19, 2021 by Killian898 3
basil67 Posted November 19, 2021 Posted November 19, 2021 There is no way to ask for more photos without sounding shallow. After all, the very act of judging someone by their photos IS shallow. Her profile is how she wants it to be, so you can either take a chance and meet her in person or just scroll on by. 6
Happy Lemming Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 Go meet women in "real life"... Problem solved!! 6 1
Weezy1973 Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 It’s meaningless until you meet in real life anyways. Keep the first date to a short drink or coffee. Then decide… 1
Gaeta Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 If a man with only 1 picture sends me a messsge the very first thing l ask right after Hello is *would you please put up more pictures, l do not have conversation with 1 picture profiles* most of the time they will put up more right away. If they give me any type of excuse l don't talk to them. This woman is up to no good. Contrary to the crowd here, l would not meet someone with only 1 picture, l would drop her. 1
chillii Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 (edited) Ha , back in the day l was on them a short stint , 10 face pics from every bloody pos' angle was more the problem and no body pics , so many were like that. Should try asking them for full pics , suddenly your the scum of the earth. Yet many women , many , said point blank things right there on their profiles like , no full body or recent pics , or sun glasses , please don't contact me. The double standards were ridiculous. l remember one chick said to me point blank , do you have more pics l can't see you face properly. Man they don't mince any words believe me , l'd just ask, if it goes down like a lead balloon she must have some crap, no loss. Edited November 20, 2021 by chillii 2
Wiseman2 Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 (edited) 11 hours ago, Otter2569 said: How do you tactfully ask a woman to post more face pics without sounding shallow or like a creep? You don't. If you are interested, you message and suggest coffee. They could post 40,000 pics........ From years ago. If springing for a cup of coffee gets tedious, ask to video chat. Edited November 20, 2021 by Wiseman2 1
elaine567 Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 Don't ask. If you are interested go for coffee, if not pass. Photos can be misleading and can do some people no favours or elevate some mediocre folk to film star status.. Go and meet her. What have you really got to lose? 2
chillii Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 Funny , l tried that too but soon ended up back to getting some decent photos first. Lot of trouble to go meet someone in my area if it's just gonna be a waste of time and you know the second you lay eyes on her. But you guys are right , for some reason it is very tricky and comes across almost offensive having to ask for more or better pics.
Author Otter2569 Posted November 20, 2021 Author Posted November 20, 2021 14 hours ago, Killian898 said: Given that everyone is carrying a hi-res camera with them 24/7 these days, and given the amount of selfies and photos women take etc., she likely has thousands she could potentially have put up and which would show you exactly what she looks like. However for some reason she has chosen to post only one photo and also that one photo also doesn’t quite give you a clear idea of what she looks like. My thoughts exactly! This is a dating site not the witnesses protection program.
Author Otter2569 Posted November 20, 2021 Author Posted November 20, 2021 7 hours ago, Gaeta said: If a man with only 1 picture sends me a messsge the very first thing l ask right after Hello is *would you please put up more pictures, l do not have conversation with 1 picture profiles* most of the time they will put up more right away. If they give me any type of excuse l don't talk to them. This woman is up to no good. Contrary to the crowd here, l would not meet someone with only 1 picture, l would drop her. Agree. It is a dating site after all. I consider 1 pic (especially one with a shaded face) a red flag. 1
Author Otter2569 Posted November 20, 2021 Author Posted November 20, 2021 7 hours ago, chillii said: Ha , back in the day l was on them a short stint , 10 face pics from every bloody pos' angle was more the problem and no body pics , so many were like that. Should try asking them for full pics , suddenly your the scum of the earth. Yet many women , many , said point blank things right there on their profiles like , no full body or recent pics , or sun glasses , please don't contact me. The double standards were ridiculous. l remember one chick said to me point blank , do you have more pics l can't see you face properly. Man they don't mince any words believe me , l'd just ask, if it goes down like a lead balloon she must have some crap, no loss. So true. I learned the hard way that the higher the pic is taken the bigger the person is. Met a woman from OLD with nothing but high angle pics. She looked great in her pics but in person was twice my size. It was pretty awkward (I did continue the date but did not have a 2nd). Pics can be misleading.
chillii Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 lt should be really too. l still remember back in the day how common all this was though. Pretty ridiculous though being expected to choose somebody from the internet or waste your time going to meet them when you can;t at least even see them properly.
Author Otter2569 Posted November 20, 2021 Author Posted November 20, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: What happened with long weekend woman? There isn't a lot of sizzle here. It feels more like friends with an occasional benefit. 1
Author Otter2569 Posted November 20, 2021 Author Posted November 20, 2021 4 hours ago, elaine567 said: Don't ask. If you are interested go for coffee, if not pass. Photos can be misleading and can do some people no favours or elevate some mediocre folk to film star status.. Go and meet her. What have you really got to lose? You are right on about the pics but it is a way to filter / identify people you may have an interest in (or not). The only true way is the in person date.
Gaeta Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 A lot of the time 1 picture profiles are scammers. When you ask to see more they have nothing to show you.
Pumpernickel Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 2 hours ago, Otter2569 said: There isn't a lot of sizzle here. It feels more like friends with an occasional benefit. Don’t break her heart! 1
Author Otter2569 Posted November 20, 2021 Author Posted November 20, 2021 24 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said: Don’t break her heart! That is certainly not my intention and knowing me I will hang on longer than I should in order to be sure I am making the right decision.
Calmandfocused Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 (edited) 18 hours ago, Otter2569 said: How do you tactfully ask a woman to post more face pics without sounding shallow or like a creep? I recently joined an online dating site and have a nice conversation going but this woman has only one profile pic. In it she is wearing a hat that shades her face. It's also a full body shot (which looks good) - this makes it even harder to see what she really looks like. Otter isn’t it you that has just recently gone on a weekend away with someone you’ve been seeing for sometime? Didn’t you just have sex with that woman for an entire weekend? On the presumption I’m correct, don’t you think you’re being somewhat unfair to your partner, the women on these sites, and more importantly; yourself? Edited November 20, 2021 by Calmandfocused 1
Girl Fade Away Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 (edited) There are two different ways of seeing this. There are women who have no issue posting and sending tons of pics, they thrive off it. They invite you to view their IG, and other SM. These women lead by their looks and many are attention seekers. Their real life appearance may tell a completely different story too.. From the men I know, I wish you luck with these types of women Then there are women who post one or two pics. They view on line dating as a quick impersonal introduction and place more value on the actual MEET. These are higher quality women from the men I have spoken to about this. And when a man asks them for more pics, they might next that man, it goes both ways. Not because they are hiding something, they might be a knockout. But because it is shallow and they might feel they have very little in common with such a person. Edited November 20, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 2
Alpacalia Posted November 20, 2021 Posted November 20, 2021 (edited) I don't think there's anything wrong with asking more photos from someone. I suppose it all depends on your motivations. Requesting additional photos from a woman you've never met may be akin to ordering from a nice restaurant's children's menu. If a woman likes you, she will send you more pictures. However, if you press them with a hurried, awkward request, you may not even receive a picture from her, let alone anything else. The moral of the story, I suppose, is that you may not want to ask for more pictures instead of actually going on a date. Edited November 20, 2021 by Alpaca 1
Author Otter2569 Posted November 20, 2021 Author Posted November 20, 2021 35 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: Otter isn’t it you that has just recently gone on a weekend away with someone you’ve been seeing for sometime? Didn’t you just have sex with that woman for an entire weekend? I wish! We are getting off topic but if you read that thread you will see that I was with someone I have KNOWN for sometime and recently began DATING. Also note that I went into and came out of that weekend with apprehension and reservation. It was also very far from an entire weekend of sex. If it were as you believe I would NOT be on a dating site.
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