She got mad at me for playing video games.

[hecuabuzz1819]

As the title might say, yeah my girl is mad at me because I was playing video games today. Been in a relationship for 6 months so far, been going great and all but she always needs a lot of attention so I try my best To always talk to her and hang out and stuff often. I don’t even play video games regularly but today I told her I wanted to play till 11 pm because all my friends were on and all, so she said okay no worries. Lost track of time and ended up playing longer and she got really pissed off. I asked her why she is so upset and she said some hurtful things to me like “I’m not adding you back on snap” “I’ll get like 20 other guys like you” and stuff. It really hurt me and I don’t know what I should do. Am I the one that should be apologizing here? Overall, shes a really good person but just gets moody and stuff whenever I don’t give her attention or talk to her at night.

[elaine567]

58 minutes ago, hecuabuzz1819 said:

today I told her I wanted to play till 11 pm

 

58 minutes ago, hecuabuzz1819 said:

Lost track of time and ended up playing longer

 

59 minutes ago, hecuabuzz1819 said:

m I the one that should be apologizing here?

What do you think?

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, hecuabuzz1819 said:

 I told her I wanted to play till 11 pm because all my friends were on and all, so she said okay no worries. Lost track of time and ended up playing longer . she said some hurtful things to me like “I’m not adding you back on snap” 

How old is she? She seems a bit immature. If you make some sort of promise , keep your word.

Apologize for not keeping your word but her SC remarks are a bit asinine, no?

 

Edited November 19, 2021 by Wiseman2

[Veronica73]

1. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. You don’t seem reliable or trustworthy if you don’t do the things you say you are going to do.

2. Her comments sound mean and over the top. 

[Woggle]

At the end of the day she is not your mother and you have a right to your hobbies.

[Happy Lemming]

Did you have plans at 11:00pm??  Was she waiting to do something with you after 11:00pm??

7 hours ago, hecuabuzz1819 said:

“I’ll get like 20 other guys like you” and stuff.

Tell her to go right ahead.  The minute a woman starts "talk" like that, call their bluff.  Tell her you can do the same, plenty of fish in the sea.

Doesn't she have some friends or hobbies??  She needs to be able to "entertain" herself.

 

[notbroken]

Yes you owed her an apology for not doing what you said.  However, her comment about getting 20 other guys would be a show stopper for me.  I personally would tell her I was sorry for playing longer than I originally said and planned but that I didn't want to be one of 20 guys or be with someone that thought I was that interchangeable.  Then I'd drop her.  

[vla1120]

1. In the future, if you are planning to be online with friends, just don't give her a specific time. I know how easily one can lose track of time while playing video games. 

2. Tell her she's lucky she knows exactly where you are and what you're doing. Ask her if she'd prefer you were out bar-hopping with friends rather than sitting on your sofa playing video games.

Your transgression of playing later than you had told her is much less egregious than her threat to get 20 other men. I think she owes YOU an apology.

[SumGuy]

Depends on how material your "promise" was.  Did you fail to do something with her because you lost track of time?  How much time did you lose track of?

If it was you failed to pick her up from the airport, or you stayed up to 5am and it messed with her plans the next day then yes, she is rightly pissed.

Otherwise, she needs to get a grip.  Staying up late playing games with friends is no different (and far better) than going out with friends and staying out late.

There are promises and there are promises, and this one you made likely in no way rises to the level of ones where reasonable people you can get along with get so upset.  I have never met a person insistent on every little "promise" who wasn't the worse at keeping theirs...especially the real ones, they always have an excuse why you caused them to break it.  In short, "promise counters" do it as a proactive defense, the best defense is a good offense after all.

I suspect she just doesn't like video games, and grudgingly tolerates them.  Take her reaction as a warning, all out of proportion to your "transgression."  I agree with vla1120, you actually already apologized it sounds like (as in sorry lost track of time), she should apologize to you. 

Also realize there are 20 women out there as well for you who will want to monopolize your time and lambast you fro being human.  That is easy to find.  Plenty of women who will treat you like that, and I'm sure constantly remind you of how lucky you are to get someone as good looking and as "good" as them...who will not hesitate to list your "faults" and how lucky you are to have them.  People like that are a dime a dozen.

Quote

Overall, shes a really good person but just gets moody and stuff whenever I don’t give her attention or talk to her at night.

Also, "really good people" do not get moody like this or vent like this on their significant other.  Again with the caveat that your playing games late did not interfere with some important plan.   If it was you did not call her before bed, she is a big girl, she can call you.  It shows a level of neediness or issues if the missed call set her off so.  Granted the issues may arise from a  legitimate traumatic event in her past, but she shouldn't vent on you without later apology.  I'm in my 50's man, have seen this movie (and sadly starred in it) before. 

Her behavior is not how balanced people resolve problems, no matter how "good" they are this behavior is anything but what is "good" in a relationship.  major red flag to me, again with my previous caveat about your actions.

Edited November 19, 2021 by SumGuy

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, SumGuy said:

she needs to get a grip.

Exactly. While being late or forgetting something is not good her reaction is bratty.

[flitzanu]

12 hours ago, hecuabuzz1819 said:

 “I’ll get like 20 other guys like you” and stuff. 

 

tell her that may be true, but they aren't going to have as good of a k/d ratio that you have

[ShyViolet]

You guys sound very young; I'm assuming you don't live together.  I don't blame her at all for getting mad; it's very rude to be playing video games when your gf comes over.  What is even the point of her coming over if you're going to be playing video games and not paying any attention to her?  And especially if you said you were just going to be playing till a certain time, but ended up going way over that time.

However, what she said about getting "20 other guys" was incredibly immature of her.  If that's the kind of person she is, you might want to rethink this whole relationship.

[dramafreezone]

Ugh, sounds like she may be doing you a favor.

You were wrong by staying on longer than you said you would, but she is more wrong for trying to manipulate you with her threat.  

Tell her to go get those guys on snap, this one will threaten to go get another guy every time she feels slighted by you.  If anyone apologizes first it should be her because her infraction was more severe, even if it was caused by yours.

Edited November 19, 2021 by dramafreezone

[glows]

13 hours ago, hecuabuzz1819 said:

As the title might say, yeah my girl is mad at me because I was playing video games today. Been in a relationship for 6 months so far, been going great and all but she always needs a lot of attention so I try my best To always talk to her and hang out and stuff often. I don’t even play video games regularly but today I told her I wanted to play till 11 pm because all my friends were on and all, so she said okay no worries. Lost track of time and ended up playing longer and she got really pissed off. I asked her why she is so upset and she said some hurtful things to me like “I’m not adding you back on snap” “I’ll get like 20 other guys like you” and stuff. It really hurt me and I don’t know what I should do. Am I the one that should be apologizing here? Overall, shes a really good person but just gets moody and stuff whenever I don’t give her attention or talk to her at night.

Let this blow over. Don't say anything that escalates the issue. That would also be immature. If she's not the right woman for you let her go. 

In future, keep your promises and follow through with plans you've made. 

[Killian898]

Definitely do NOT apologise. Particularly after her immature and spiteful reaction of threatening to replace you with other guys. That is uncalled for and by saying that she now does not now deserve an apology for your having done something which really is not that big a deal. If you capitulate on this you can expect more of these juvenile tantrums from her. 

[Gaeta]

If my boyfriend didn't get to enjoy playing videogames as often since he met me, I would have gone to bed and let him play all night, while I enjoy something else. 

 she always needs a lot of attention : That's not how well-rounded people are. Your gf is needy, controlling it seems, and now uses belitting and threats. Learn to spot those signs early on and don't date them. 

[Girl Fade Away]

Just a guess but it sounds like her anger at you has been festering for a while and there is more to this story and her '20 guys' comment than you just playing video games.  She just used this incident to let that anger out.  Probably at the end of her rope.  Most likely she feels neglected, uncared for, unloved.  

You said she needs a lot of attention, what does 'alot of attention' mean?  When in a relationship, we all need some attention that is not asking too much. 

Video games at 11:00 pm?   Dude come on.  Yeh there is more to this than video games and if I were you I would figure out what that 'more' is REAL fast or you may find yourself without girlfriend. Then you can play video games all night long  to your heart's content which is maybe what you would rather be doing anyway. 

Edited November 20, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[Fox Sake]

Nah man. She got mad at you for not sticking to your time and basically putting her second. 

The fact you said she got mad at you for playing video games just goes to show neither of you are really listening or learning from it. 

While she is right to feel the way she does , her response to that is also pretty immature. 

[Wiseman2]

She didn't get mad at you for playing video games, she got mad at you because you were supposed to do something by 11pm (call, go out, come to bed, whatever) and didn't.