logitech_mk320 Posted November 17, 2021 Posted November 17, 2021 Hi! I (29M) have been seeing this girl (27) for about 4 months. We share a mutual group of friends so that is how we met. The past couple of weeks, I feel like her interest has changed. I've arranged the last 3 dates and it seems like lately I've been the one to call or text. Whenever I did ask to hang out, she was very engaged, always agreed to plans and never bailed. Also, over text, she asks questions, continues the conversation, etc. When I call her, she'll answer. If she misses my call, she'll call me back. Maybe there's nothing to be concerned about here but I'm a bit nervous with her all of a sudden not being the one to initiate. Any advice? Thank you. To add, we haven't had any talk yet about what we are looking for, what we "are", etc
glows Posted November 17, 2021 Posted November 17, 2021 Texting conversations are difficult to keep up when you see someone regularly. Focus on your in person interactions and arranging dates. Is there any intimacy between the two of you? Do you want to keep seeing her?
Killian898 Posted November 17, 2021 Posted November 17, 2021 Personally I would not be happy with a situation where I was doing 100% of the initiating, even if that other person was being quite responsive. I’m sure she is perfectly happy with this situation. Who wouldn’t be?! I’d pullback gradually. This will allow her some time to miss you. If she likes you then I’d expect her to initiate occasionally and do some of the legwork.
Sun Seeker Posted November 17, 2021 Posted November 17, 2021 4 months and no talk about what you are or asking her to be your girlfriend? What exactly are you waiting for? 1
divegrl Posted November 18, 2021 Posted November 18, 2021 My relationship changed just like this recently. He initiates everything, texting calling, planning dates, trips. I am always receptive and engaged. I am really happy with him being the pursuer, and he is happy with that dynamic too! Are you ok with having to initiate everything? If so, I would really worry about it. If not, that needs to be communicated. Take care!
Ami1uwant Posted November 18, 2021 Posted November 18, 2021 4 hours ago, logitech_mk320 said: Hi! I (29M) have been seeing this girl (27) for about 4 months. We share a mutual group of friends so that is how we met. The past couple of weeks, I feel like her interest has changed. I've arranged the last 3 dates and it seems like lately I've been the one to call or text. Whenever I did ask to hang out, she was very engaged, always agreed to plans and never bailed. Also, over text, she asks questions, continues the conversation, etc. When I call her, she'll answer. If she misses my call, she'll call me back. Maybe there's nothing to be concerned about here but I'm a bit nervous with her all of a sudden not being the one to initiate. Any advice? Thank you. To add, we haven't had any talk yet about what we are looking for, what we "are", etc this is my measuring stick. if I’m the one that is always initiating the calls, setting up the dates, etc. i pull away and wait for her.
Author logitech_mk320 Posted November 18, 2021 Author Posted November 18, 2021 The "what are we talk?" has been on my mind but the past few times that we've seen each other was in a group setting and I obviously didn't think it was appropriate to bring it up. I plan on doing it soon, just waiting for the right moment. As far as me always being the one to initiate, it doesn't bother me if I have to do it 75% of the time. But I feel like it'd be nice to get a text/call from her first the other 25% of the time or a text/call to hang out.
Wiseman2 Posted November 18, 2021 Posted November 18, 2021 9 hours ago, logitech_mk320 said: we haven't had any talk yet about what we are looking for, what we "are", etc After 16 weeks, it's time to discuss this. Are you exclusive? Are you intimate? If you are not asking her to be in a relationship after 4 mos, she's probably losing interest and since you have refused to at least have the exclusive conversation, she's probably talking to others. It seems like you are too passive and uninterested so she's stepping back from that lassitude to see what's going on.
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