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How to Ask Him if he's taken?


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  • Author
Posted
1 hour ago, Alvi said:

That means that he is not interested. Good for you to take a chance and make a first move. But you also need to realize that no answer is an answer. You tried, it didn't work. No shame in that at all.

For whatever reason he is not into you that much. Maybe he has a girlfriend or a boyfriend or you are not his type at all. 

Because he is not interested. Simple as that.  No other reason. He is just not into you. 

 

Because he is not interested. Rude? Well, maybe, but he is not interested and doesn't want to lead you on. Replying to you would mean interest on his part. But, again, he is not interested.

Please don't text him anything anymore. It's only going to make you look more desperate and needy. Not a good look at all. Focus on other guys. There much be other guys in your school, are they not? 

it just sucks how every time i shoot my shot i miss. it seems all the nice cute guys are taken? which is why i’m always on apps. 

Posted
1 minute ago, GoodVibess said:

it just sucks how every time i shoot my shot i miss.

It's ok to have guy friends as study pals, classmates, guys in your clubs, groups, sports, through volunteering, events, etc.

"Taken" is irrelevant. You need to focus on "Interested". However it sounds like you are  just having crushes and not really ready to date.

Say "hi" through text is not shooting a shot. Striking up conversation that may lead to going for coffee is shooting a shot.

 

Posted

 

45 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Say "hi" through text is not shooting a shot. Striking up conversation that may lead to going for coffee is shooting a shot.

 

Well, she is at the age where saying "hi" is equivalent of striking up a conversation. It might take a bit more than just "hi" for someone older and a bit more mature. But they are just collide kids. She is testing the waters to see if he is interested. He says "hi" back. They start chatting. And what do you know? One of them asks another for a coffee or something. I don't think her approach is wrong. The guy in question wasn't interested, otherwise her approach would work just fine.

59 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

it just sucks how every time i shoot my shot i miss. it seems all the nice cute guys are taken? which is why i’m always on apps. 

It's OK. That's usually how dating works. But it's only takes one. Don't get discouraged and keep moving. But at the same time don't waste your time and energy over the unattainable guys. If a guy is not interested, NEXT.

Posted

Yes, you text him hi and he didn't respond.

Granted, he could have thought you were texting him hi to ask him something about class and he didn't feel like responding.

 

Posted
2 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

it just sucks how every time i shoot my shot i miss. it seems all the nice cute guys are taken? which is why i’m always on apps. 

You don't know if he's a nice guy or not.  You don't even know him.

Posted
2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

You need to focus on "Interested".

This^  Engage with guys who are showing interest in you then you won't have to wonder or chase.

  • Author
Posted
5 hours ago, stillafool said:

If he wanted to talk to you he would.  You've made it perfectly clear you are interested in talking to him but he didn't even respond back with a "Hi" to you.  He's not interested.  Look we don't always get who or what we want.  Is this guy really good looking like the other one?

yes he is very attractive he smells so good 

  • Author
Posted
20 minutes ago, stillafool said:

This^  Engage with guys who are showing interest in you then you won't have to wonder or chase.

i don’t want guys who are interested in me though.

Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

it just sucks how every time i shoot my shot i miss. it seems all the nice cute guys are taken? which is why i’m always on apps. 

I think the "all of the good guys are taken" is a sign that you are focusing on a very small subset of guys who a bunch of other women also want.  Of course you're going to be frustrated.

That said, if you insist on being in that pool, you have to compete.  Make yourself more attractive to those "taken" guys.  If they are relationship types, they're not going to ever really be single, they'll go from one GF to the other, or they just won't commit to anyone, that's how they operate.

Part of the allure of the guys that are "taken" is that someone else has already pre-approved them, so you don't have to do a lot of wondering about his value, someone has already proved his value.  It's a lot like credit worthiness.

Or, you can take a look at some of the guys that you know for a fact are not taken.  Some of these are guys that maybe just haven't built up their credit yet, but they could be great values in the future.

Edited by dramafreezone
  • Author
Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

I think the "all of the good guys are taken" is a sign that you are focusing on a very small subset of guys who a bunch of other women also want.  Of course you're going to be frustrated.

That said, if you insist on being in that pool, you have to compete.  Make yourself more attractive to those "taken" guys.  They're not going to ever really be single, they'll go from one GF to the other, or they just won't commit to anyone, that's how they operate.

Part of the allure of the guys that are "taken" is that someone else has already pre-approved them, so you don't have to do a lot of wondering about his value, someone has already proved his value.  It's a lot like credit worthiness.

Or, you can take a look at some of the guys that you know for a fact are not taken.  Some of these are guys that maybe just haven't built up their credit yet, but they could be great values in the future.

the issue is i don’t find those guys attractive, it sucks how i only go for the bad boy look

Edited by GoodVibess
Posted
3 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

the issue is i don’t find those guys attractive, it sucks how i only go for the bad boy look

Ah, so you're about the "challenge."  And if someone likes you already, then what's the challenge in that?

Posted
6 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

i don’t want guys who are interested in me though.

That makes no sense. So you don't care if he's "available", you just want to sit on the sidelines, send one-word texts, then act rejected?

Posted
17 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

i don’t want guys who are interested in me though.

Okay then enjoy chasing after guys you can't get.

  • Like 3
Posted (edited)
16 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

That makes no sense. So you don't care if he's "available", you just want to sit on the sidelines, send one-word texts, then act rejected?

I think it makes perfect sense.  This is not uncommon.

First, we all know it's human nature to want what others have.  It's why a guy can go to the club by himself and not get any looks, but same guy goes there with a pretty girlfriend, gets more looks.

Also, whenever I've had a GF, I've just had a completely different swagger.  Guys with girlfriends just act differently, non-thirsty, like this guy is acting towards her. 

I remember how desperate I used to act trying to get women in my early 20s, so I'm guessing a lot of the guys that like her are acting the same way.  It's not attractive.

Edited by dramafreezone
Posted
25 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

the issue is i don’t find those guys attractive, it sucks how i only go for the bad boy look

I thought you were looking for nice guys... now you say that you want bad boys???

You don't know anything about him. Try to start a conversation with guys you find attractive. Get to know them a little. If they respond to you/maybe show interest, keep talking to them.

If they are not responsive, stay away. 

  • Author
Posted
19 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Okay then enjoy chasing after guys you can't get.

guess i’ll be chasing forever 

  • Like 1
Posted

Then it's not that you genuinely like HIM, you just like that he's a challenge.

In that case, don't bother.

  • Like 1
Posted

I just asked my college age kid about sending Hi as a text.  She said that if she received a Hi, she wouldn't respond until the rest of the message arrived.  She said that if you want to start a conversation, you need to have a topic.    

She doesn't feel that ignoring a message which has no content is rude.

 

  • Like 2
Posted
18 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Then it's not that you genuinely like HIM, you just like that he's a challenge.

In that case, don't bother.

Yes OP.  Your mind is just playing a trick on you.

If this guy liked you, you wouldn't be interested, just like the other guys that like you.  I think it's common to think this way when we're younger, but at some point hopefully you understand that you deserve to be liked, and that someone liking you is actually a positive trait in them.

  • Like 1
Posted
2 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

i don’t want guys who are interested in me though.

No you don't.  You feel entitled to have the guys you want.  I think there's a guy on this forum who feels the same way about girls.  He only wants a beautiful woman and refuses to date those he can get.  It must feel bad to be constantly rejected.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
25 minutes ago, stillafool said:

No you don't.  You feel entitled to have the guys you want.  I think there's a guy on this forum who feels the same way about girls.  He only wants a beautiful woman and refuses to date those he can get.  It must feel bad to be constantly rejected.

doesn’t matter i want a tall bearded man only. i am sick of getting unattractive men.

Posted
8 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

 i am sick of getting unattractive men.

What do YOU look like?

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
38 minutes ago, stillafool said:

What do YOU look like?

fair skin, slim thick, brown eyes, blonde hair, and have tats. 

Posted
2 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

doesn’t matter i want a tall bearded man only. 

Why so specific? 

 

  • Author
Posted
11 hours ago, Alpaca said:

Why so specific? 

 

because that is what turns me on and they are handsome in my eyes. men with no beard look like women 

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