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How to Ask Him if he's taken?

GoodVibess

By GoodVibess
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GoodVibess Established Member

GoodVibess

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Today I realized he looked really cute and I am very interested in getting to know him, we were partners in an assignment. But he doesn’t ask me any questions, for example i asked where he worked he replied but didn’t ask me. Idk anything about him, we only text about school stuff. How can I start a conversation with him, I feel he has a gf due to his texting. I also texted him “hi” 3 hours ago he never replied, today he was looking at me in class. But doesn’t say anything to me. 

Edited by GoodVibess
glows Established Member

glows

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It means he's not interested. Looking at you could be for any reason, possibly even out of nervousness or disdain. Try not to make anyone uncomfortable in your class. You've tried speaking to him and he's not reciprocating or doesn't seem to show similar interest so drop it for now. Hang out with your friends. If he wants to talk to you he knows where you are. 

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GoodVibess Established Member

GoodVibess

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16 minutes ago, glows said:

It means he's not interested. Looking at you could be for any reason, possibly even out of nervousness or disdain. Try not to make anyone uncomfortable in your class. You've tried speaking to him and he's not reciprocating or doesn't seem to show similar interest so drop it for now. Hang out with your friends. If he wants to talk to you he knows where you are. 

i really want him to notice me. why does he ignore me 

glows Established Member

glows

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2 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

i really want him to notice me. why does he ignore me 

You may be too needy or overt. Do your own thing. Smile at him now and then and ask him how his day is going. Like I said, if he wants to talk with you or ask about you he knows where you are.

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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7 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

. I also texted him “hi” 3 hours ago . 

Just suggest coffee ☕. It solves two dilemmas. Is he interested and is he available.

While having coffee ☕ you'll quickly figure out if he has  is available and interested or just making friends.

Don't send people nonsense texts like "hey" ,"wassup", etc. Not only are they annoying and lazy, they don't require a response.

Suggest coffee. 

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Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

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If you're not comfortable taking the direct route just say something like "nice clothes, did you choose them or your girlfriend?"

Edited by Alpaca
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GoodVibess Established Member

GoodVibess

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1 hour ago, Alpaca said:

If you're not comfortable taking the direct route just say something like "nice clothes, did you choose them or your girlfriend?"

should i text him that lol? he never replied to my hi. i want to say, “i heard you did a great presentation, i really appreciate it. and btw i like your outfit yesterday, did you choose it or did your girlfriend do it?

Edited by GoodVibess
introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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1 minute ago, GoodVibess said:

should i text him that lol? he never replied to my hi. i want to say, “i heard you did a great presentation, i really appreciate it. and btw i like your outfit yesterday, did your girlfriend choose it?” 

Ouch. This is cringey.

Look, he knows you're interested; you've made that clear. The ball is in his court. If he doesn't reach out, assume he's not interested; he doesn't have to have a gf in order to not be interested in you.

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GoodVibess Established Member

GoodVibess

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1 minute ago, introverted1 said:

Ouch. This is cringey.

Look, he knows you're interested; you've made that clear. The ball is in his court. If he doesn't reach out, assume he's not interested; he doesn't have to have a gf in order to not be interested in you.

i wanted to thank him for the presentation, since i wasn’t in class to do it with him. i texted hi to see if he would reply back but didn’t.

Edited by GoodVibess
introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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Just now, GoodVibess said:

i wanted to thank him for the presentation, since i wasn’t in class to do it with him. 

Then you can just thank him without the stuff about his outfit and not-so-subtle questions about his gf.

Why weren't you there for the presentation? Was this to present your joint work from the assignment in your OP?

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GoodVibess Established Member

GoodVibess

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3 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

Then you can just thank him without the stuff about his outfit and not-so-subtle questions about his gf.

Why weren't you there for the presentation? Was this to present your joint work from the assignment in your OP?

my mom got into an accident and she had to borrow my car, i live an hour away from campus and my classmates wouldn’t drive that far they don’t live near me. i had no ride that day. and we were gonna share our own presentations we did help each other, i think it was really nice of him to give me full credit for not being there. i am interested in this guy and want to know if he has a gf. i feel embarrassed for texting him hi 😔

Edited by GoodVibess
introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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1 minute ago, GoodVibess said:

my mom got into an accident and she had to borrow my car, i live an hour away from campus and my classmates wouldn’t drive that far they don’t live near me. i had no ride that day. and we were gonna share our own presentations we did help each other, i think it was really nice of him to give me full credit for not being there. i am interested in this guy and want to know if he has a gf. i feel embarrassed for texting him hi 😔

So you weren't there for what was supposed to be a joint presentation?  I doubt he is impressed by this.

Anyway, what I said in my first response stands:  he knows you are interested.  If he was also interested, he'd have responded to your opening when you were talking to him as you worked on the assignment, or he'd have replied to your text (or initiated one of his own).  He's made no effort to reach out to you in spite of 1) knowing you are interested and 2) having your contact information. It doesn't matter if he has has a gf; even if he doesn't have one, it doesn't mean he wants to date you.

Move on to someone who is actually interested in you.

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GoodVibess Established Member

GoodVibess

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1 minute ago, introverted1 said:

So you weren't there for what was supposed to be a joint presentation?  I doubt he is impressed by this.

Anyway, what I said in my first response stands:  he knows you are interested.  If he was also interested, he'd have responded to your opening when you were talking to him as you worked on the assignment, or he'd have replied to your text (or initiated one of his own).  He's made no effort to reach out to you in spite of 1) knowing you are interested and 2) having your contact information. It doesn't matter if he has has a gf; even if he doesn't have one, it doesn't mean he wants to date you.

Move on to someone who is actually interested in you.

that’s true, but he is always looking at me and it’s like he wants to talk to me. so is it not worth texting him again and thanking him since he never replied to my first message?

introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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Just now, GoodVibess said:

that’s true, but he is always looking at me and it’s like he wants to talk to me.

 That's not what you said in your OP:

14 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

Today I realized he looked really cute and I am very interested in getting to know him, we were partners in an assignment. But he doesn’t ask me any questions, for example i asked where he worked he replied but didn’t ask me. Idk anything about him, we only text about school stuff. How can I start a conversation with him, I feel he has a gf due to his texting. I also texted him “hi” 3 hours ago he never replied, today he was looking at me in class. But doesn’t say anything to me. 

He's either not interested or hopelessly socially stunted. You've made it as easy as possible for him to pursue you.

Quote

so is it not worth texting him again and thanking him since he never replied to my first message?

If your ego can take it if he doesn't reply (again), sure, send him a thank you. But don't ask about a gf.

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GoodVibess Established Member

GoodVibess

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13 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

 That's not what you said in your OP:

He's either not interested or hopelessly socially stunted. You've made it as easy as possible for him to pursue you.

If your ego can take it if he doesn't reply (again), sure, send him a thank you. But don't ask about a gf.

i am hurt he ignored my message i find it very rude.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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27 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

that’s true, but he is always looking at me and it’s like he wants to talk to me. so is it not worth texting him again and thanking him since he never replied to my first message?

If he wanted to talk to you he would.  You've made it perfectly clear you are interested in talking to him but he didn't even respond back with a "Hi" to you.  He's not interested.  Look we don't always get who or what we want.  Is this guy really good looking like the other one?

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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13 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

i am hurt he ignored my message i find it very rude.

Don't look at it as being rude.  He doesn't want to lead you on and if he sent a text back that might make you respond back to him and he doesn't want that.  He doesn't mean to hurt your feelings he just doesn't want to lead you on.

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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55 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

 he never replied to my hi. 

Stop texting him stuff like that. Go for coffee. Do not ask if he's available or be roundabout. If he declines going for coffee, you'll know he's not interested whether he has a GF or not. That's what matters anyway, no? 

dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

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Posted (edited)
15 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

Today I realized he looked really cute and I am very interested in getting to know him, we were partners in an assignment. But he doesn’t ask me any questions, for example i asked where he worked he replied but didn’t ask me. Idk anything about him, we only text about school stuff. How can I start a conversation with him, I feel he has a gf due to his texting. I also texted him “hi” 3 hours ago he never replied, today he was looking at me in class. But doesn’t say anything to me. 

Ask him out. 

I know you want a low risk, saving-face type of way to find out, but the only way to know for sure is to ask him out.  Women do ask men out sometimes, it's not against the law.   Then you'll have your answer either way.

Edited by dramafreezone
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Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

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1 hour ago, GoodVibess said:

should i text him that lol? he never replied to my hi. i want to say, “i heard you did a great presentation, i really appreciate it. and btw i like your outfit yesterday, did you choose it or did your girlfriend do it?

No.

I meant if you're in in class and talking.

Thing is he sounds low interest and that was also your initial question which is why I suggested that.

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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32 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Thing is he sounds low interest

Agree. He sees you, he has your contact info and is not asking you out, so...? It doesn't matter if someone is "available" what matters is are they interested enough to ask you out.

 Just move forward and start talking to  other guys.

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Uruktopi Established Member

Uruktopi

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3 hours ago, Alpaca said:

"nice clothes, did you choose them or your girlfriend?"

LOL!

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Killian898 Member

Killian898

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Posted (edited)

I wouldn’t be embarrassed about messaging him “hi” as you were just testing the water. However I would definitely not message him again but instead just leave the ball in his court. If he’s interested then, trust me, he will text you. 
If you text again and he doesn’t reply for the second time then you are going to feel even worse than you do now. I know it’s hard but you must resist and not do a ‘double text’. If he doesn’t reply or doesn’t actively look to go out of his way to have a conversation with you irl when he next sees you, then I would interpret that as him not being interested sorry to say. 

Edited by Killian898
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dramafreezone Established Member

dramafreezone

Posted
Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

 It doesn't matter if someone is "available" what matters is are they interested enough to ask you out.

 

I never think of someone as "taken" anymore.  Everyone is technically available in my mind, it's just a matter of what their options are and how you measure up against those options.  If you measure up favorably, they're interested, if not they're not interested.

Edited by dramafreezone
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Alvi Established Member

Alvi

Posted
Posted (edited)
16 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

I also texted him “hi” 3 hours ago he never replied

That means that he is not interested. Good for you to take a chance and make a first move. But you also need to realize that no answer is an answer. You tried, it didn't work. No shame in that at all.

For whatever reason he is not into you that much. Maybe he has a girlfriend or a boyfriend or you are not his type at all. 

15 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

i really want him to notice me. why does he ignore me 

Because he is not interested. Simple as that.  No other reason. He is just not into you. 

 

2 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

i am hurt he ignored my message i find it very rude.

Because he is not interested. Rude? Well, maybe, but he is not interested and doesn't want to lead you on. Replying to you would mean interest on his part. But, again, he is not interested.

Please don't text him anything anymore. It's only going to make you look more desperate and needy. Not a good look at all. Focus on other guys. There much be other guys in your school, are they not? 

Edited by Alvi
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