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Newbie online dating question

Veronica73

By Veronica73
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Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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Maybe I’m not ready for dating. Or putting myself out there in that way. Maybe just getting out more and doing things I enjoy where there are other people would be better. Since I’m so iffy about the whole thing.

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Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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1 minute ago, Ami1uwant said:

No

 

there are bots that like you.

Lol. That’s good to know as well. Thank you! 

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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3 minutes ago, Veronica73 said:

That make sense. But as far as quality apps….is Match not one? Which ones are the quality apps?

I know I’m doing this half-ass. And my results should reflect that. But I am wary of the whole thing. It all seems so weird. And I have been talking to a few people who have said that I shouldn’t let my weight limit me. They say people of all shapes and sizes have relationships, which is obviously true. 

The guy I mentioned earlier just texted me. 


ball park…how old are you and what age ranges are you looking fir?

 

do you live in a large metro area?

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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14 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:


ball park…how old are you and what age ranges are you looking fir?

 

do you live in a large metro area?

......and do you want kids?

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Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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I don’t want kids. The metro area I live in (the city plus the surrounding suburbs) is around 700,000. I’d prefer guys in their 40’s or early 50’s. I’m 47.

Edit: I’d relax my age requirements if the guy looked like Bradley Whitford.

Edited by Veronica73
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Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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Also….the wanting kids thing seems like a moot point at my age. If the person already has kids (or not) that’s great. But I don’t want to bear children and at my age I think It would be unlikely that I would even be able to.

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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1 hour ago, Veronica73 said:

Also….the wanting kids thing seems like a moot point at my age. If the person already has kids (or not) that’s great. But I don’t want to bear children and at my age I think It would be unlikely that I would even be able to.

It’s not expected if youare40+ to have kids but where are you in wanting to raise them.  It coukd be 3 yrs till college or 15.

 

 

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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At your age writing a detailed profile is important on what interests you have ( and hope partner shares).

 

littke detail profiles are usually from people doing a free trial on a weekend.

 

between now and New Years there will be some sort of free preview periods that non paying users can chat some.

 

you need to initiate communication. You get what you put in.  
 

some of these likes are all a non paying member can do.  Also in free weekend communication some may do coded email cues in messages that would get passed a computer seeing this so they can talk off line.

Edited by Ami1uwant
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JRabbit Established Member

JRabbit

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My personal favourite profile which I see all too often....

"ask questions"

Drives me absolutely crazy hahaha

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Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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I wonder why this guy even messaged me with my half-ass profile. Probably just because I’m new?

JRabbit Established Member

JRabbit

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I personally don't think a lot of men care about the profile. Women do, for sure.

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Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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So last night this guy texted me saying good night with a shirtless, in-bed selfie. Wtf? Is it just me, or does that seem screwy?

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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9 minutes ago, Veronica73 said:

So last night this guy texted me saying good night with a shirtless, in-bed selfie.

Another timewaster (looking for hookups/sexting). Delete and block. What do you mean "texted"? Messaged through the app for the first time ?

Try to set up coffee meets through the app after a few messages back and forth. Don't hand out your contact info until you know it's a real human, not some weirdo or scammer.

Edited by Wiseman2
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Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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We messaged back and forth on Match a few nights ago. He gave me his number and said he hoped we could talk the next night. So I called him the next night and left him a voicemail. The next day he texted something about having a nice day and I said I hoped he did too. And then I get the good night text with the in-bed selfie.

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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11 minutes ago, Veronica73 said:

We messaged back and forth on Match a few nights ago. He gave me his number and said he hoped we could talk the next night.

Set up a coffee meet while still on the dating app messaging service. For this and many other safety reasons.

Never give out you contact info. Not only for ruling out garbage like this but your own safety. This is Precisely why they have a messaging function on dating apps.

Texting, talking, VMs are ALL nonsense when meeting for coffee is much more important.

Anyone who refuses to meet after a few messages on the app itself, should be an Instant delete and block. Now you know one of the reasons why.

 Make sure you're not just bored and playing on the app (also refusing to meet or engaging in nonsense s chitchat, etc). That could spell trouble.

Edited by Wiseman2
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Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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Okay, no more giving out my phone number until I am reasonably sure I’m not talking to a creep. 

JRabbit Established Member

JRabbit

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Thats him starting the game of getting you to sext with him.

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Mrin Established Member

Mrin

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22 hours ago, Veronica73 said:

I wonder why this guy even messaged me with my half-ass profile. Probably just because I’m new?

Bingo. For a lot of dudes it is just a numbers game trying to get a response on Match. So they message anyone who is new thinking it will improve the odds. Also as @JRabbit said, a lot of men don't care about profiles. I have a friend who put literally the most unattractive text in her profile on Match to see if it made a difference. Nope! She's pretty and still tons of guys flooding her inbox. 

Edited by Mrin
Weezy1973 Established Member

Weezy1973

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4 hours ago, Veronica73 said:

Okay, no more giving out my phone number until I am reasonably sure I’m not talking to a creep. 

Yeah OLD is a process. Some tips.

1. Nothing means anything until you meet in person. 
 

2. Keep first meets short. Just a coffee or a drink. Really it’s not a date; the first meet is to meet up and see if there’s any potential for a date. Most of the time the answer will be no.

 

3. Put up a current full body pic on your profile. It will save you a lot of anxiety. 

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