futuregopher Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 I live in NYC where it is required to provide proof of covid vaccination to dine indoors. I am not vaccinated for covid. I used to just be able to sit outdoors (proof of covid vax not needed) because it wasn't cold but now it's winter time in NYC and I don't want me or my date to be cold. How do I bring this up? Do I wait until they ask me why we have to sit outdoors or do I tell them I am not vaccinated for covid before the meeting/during the initial invite? In my mind I feel I should let people know before meeting because I don't want to feel like I'm misleading people but at the same time I feel like my medical records are none of your business.
elaine567 Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 If you are not vaccinated then sorry, but you have no right to go indoors as you are not following the rules. 4
Killian898 Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 (edited) It’s nobody’s business whether you are vaxxed or not and you don’t have to explain. I think if it gets to the point that you are setting up a date then you need to be upfront and say that you can’t eat indoors because of this reason. If the other person views this as a dealbreaker and/or starts giving you a hard time [ ] then this is probably a good indicator and they are not the right person for you anyways. Edited November 16, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator reference to removed content 2
central Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 If you had an STD, you'd morally have to inform a partner before sleeping with them, whether they ask or not. If you are not masked and within 6 feet of a date, I think you are morally obligated to either mask up or tell them you're not vaccinated. It seems like there are few things you can do other than outside activities unless you disclose your status, because it seems inevitable that you will have to tell them fairly soon. Better yet, if you are using OLD, say you only want to date unvaccinated people so there is no moral or philosophical area of contention. 2
Foxhall Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 will this become a new compatibility factor in terms of dating? probably yes in the short term anyway funnily enough. Its a bit of a dilemma for you this, Its ok to be against it , however you have no choice but to mention that you are not vaccinated, some potential dates may have strong views on not being vaccinated. perhaps you will bond with similar minded people on the dating apps. 1
Gaeta Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 Tell women before meeting them. I always ask men I get in touch with if they are vaccinated. If not, I don't meet them. You don't know these women you're meeting, some of them may have health conditions they're not aware of yet and getting covid could kill them. You have a moral responsibility here to tell these women you're not vaccinated before meeting. 2
smackie9 Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 I'm sure there are plenty of unvaxxed like yourself. Just be up front and you will find an unvaxxed lady that can navigate the restrictions with you. 1
ShyViolet Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 Tell her in the context of not being able to participate in indoor dining, just like you told us here. That's a good, natural way to present it. Just say, "Hey, I wish we could go to a restaurant but I won't be able to because they require vaccination. And it's getting a bit cold for outdoor dining, what do you think?" For me personally, I wouldn't be interested in dating someone who isn't vaccinated. Especially if they're "against" it. Roll this out early to find out if it's a deal breaker for her. 5
notbroken Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 You'll probably have to disclose it so they know they won't be able to go to restaurants indoors with you. If you are adamant about it (and sounds like you are) you should probably disclose this very early in the dating process so there aren't any surprises/time wasted by anyone. It could prove very difficult to date unvaccinated in NY and other places with restrictions in the age of covid.
Alpacalia Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 (edited) My lab partner isn't vaccinated and although we wear masks and I am fully vaccinated I really wish she would have told me beforehand that she was not vaccinated. Still, it's what you are comfortable with sharing, I suppose. Like anything, your medical history is private and you aren't required to disclose it. If you do disclose, it will be more out of courtesy to your date, in case she has any medical concerns herself. Edited November 16, 2021 by Alpaca 1
dramafreezone Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, futuregopher said: How do I bring this up? Do I wait until they ask me why we have to sit outdoors or do I tell them I am not vaccinated for covid before the meeting/during the initial invite? In my mind I feel I should let people know before meeting because I don't want to feel like I'm misleading people but at the same time I feel like my medical records are none of your business. It's up to you to decide who to disclose your medical information to. The one thing I wouldn't do is get all dressed up and wait until the restaurant tells you that you're not allowed to eat there. She will be mortified. If you're dating someone, just tell her that dining inside isn't an option right now. I would tell my potential dates that I'm not vaccinated if I were you, just because you live in an area where it's probably going to come up at some point. Edited November 16, 2021 by dramafreezone 1
Versacehottie Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 (edited) A lot of people have very strong opinions on vaccinations, so I think you should absolutely deal with it beforehand. On the simplest part alone is that you would want a likeminded person. If you waste time taking out a person that does not think like-mindedly, it won't go over well. Also I would just say, while your medical business isn't necessarily a date's right to know, that's provided you aren't in situations where you are compromising her right to choose how she handles her medical business. A good date, a good date at a restaurant, takes that choice away from her. So on that as well, you should tell her in advance. Edited November 16, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed reference to hidden content. 5
Lotsgoingon Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 If you are comfortable and confident in your vaccination choice, then you want to be comfortable and confident in announcing this choice ahead of time to your date. You want to own your choice. If the person doesn't like your choice, you two aren't going to work anyway. Bottom line: you do not want to hide your vaccine status. That way you screen out people (like me) who would not want to meet with you. And you allow those who are comfortable with your decision to find you. If you try to hide your status or delay disclosing your vaccine decision, people will likely feel surprised and a bit betrayed. BTW: this disclose ahead of time policy is good for many many areas of dating. Basically, you don't want to hide things. There is no gentle way of telling someone who is highly pro vaccine that you are not vaccinated. No way to do that smoothly. Just own your status and go for it. See who bites. 4
Wiseman2 Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 2 hours ago, futuregopher said: In my mind I feel I should let people know before meeting because I don't want to feel like I'm misleading people but at the same time I feel like my medical records are none of your business. In general, your medical history is your business, but since covid is a deadly, highly infectious disease and there are the implications you mentioned regarding indoor dining, you would be better off being forthcoming about it. 4
Angelle Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 I would want to know, and since you live in an area where it's requited to eat indoors, I don't see how you will get around not telling them. 3
Trail Blazer Posted November 16, 2021 Posted November 16, 2021 You should definitely tell them beforehand that you aren't vaccinated. If the date goes any further than that, you're going to have to tell her at some point. It's better she knows early, so she too can make an informed choice as to whether she wishes to go on a date. 4
spiderowl Posted November 17, 2021 Posted November 17, 2021 (edited) 9 hours ago, futuregopher said: I live in NYC where it is required to provide proof of covid vaccination to dine indoors. I am not vaccinated for covid. I used to just be able to sit outdoors (proof of covid vax not needed) because it wasn't cold but now it's winter time in NYC and I don't want me or my date to be cold. How do I bring this up? Do I wait until they ask me why we have to sit outdoors or do I tell them I am not vaccinated for covid before the meeting/during the initial invite? In my mind I feel I should let people know before meeting because I don't want to feel like I'm misleading people but at the same time I feel like my medical records are none of your business. Let them know before meeting. Your date may not want to date someone who is not vaccinated. It is unfair not to let them know. If you are unvaccinated for some health reason, then any decent person should be understanding. However, if you wish to keep it a secret because you are anti-vaxx, they will find out anyway eventually and you cannot really hide attitudes to such things from someone you might become intimate with. You don't want to have one of those 'rights and wrongs' of vaccination discussions with someone new. Best to be honest from the start and then let the chips fall where they may. It is hardly a 'medical records' issue, unless you do have health reasons for avoiding vaccination. Governments all over the world hold information about who has and hasn't been vaccinated, so why withhold it from a date? I think in any dating situation, if you are looking for a good relationship, you need to be honest with a potential partner. If you are looking for something casual, then it is best to be honest but if you aren't and they ask anyway, what will you say? Will you lie? Anyone who is prepared to have a hook-up or FWB relationship with someone they don't know very well, is obviously prepared to take their own risks, but if they ask you should certainly tell. Edited November 17, 2021 by spiderowl 1
Blind-Sided Posted November 17, 2021 Posted November 17, 2021 22 hours ago, elaine567 said: If you are not vaccinated then sorry, but you have no right to go indoors as you are not following the rules. Yep... however you feel about the rules.... those rules were put in place by your Voted-In officials. If you don't like the rules, vote them out. BUT... do not lie about something this serious. For full disclosure... I hate "Big Brother" laws. I ride a motorcycle, and wear my helmet because I choose to. BUT... I do not want to be told to. The same goes for the Vax. I'm vax'ed, but I think it's very wrong to mandate it. BUT... I don't feel it's wrong to keep people out of public spaces who choose to not be vax'ed. You can always order food to-go. Not to mention.... since this is such a divided issue... the person you may go on a date with may want to know. Don't lie, and break rules/laws. That makes you a bad person. BUT... stand up for what you believe in. If you have some REAL issue with the Vax... then do what you think is right. Remember... the basic foundation of the constitution of the USA is.... "One person's rights only go so far as to interfere with another person's right's." So... you have the right to not be vax'ed... but I have the right to eat in a safe environment. Sorry for that... but I needed to make my point. 5
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