We are supposed to meet tomorrow

[Girl Fade Away]

21 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

I just don’t get why he would continue to talk to me if he never had intentions of meeting me

I am sorry it did not work out @GoodVibess   but this happens all the time with on line.  People text due to boredom, ego stroke, lonely, need for attention and entertainment.  Many people are already in existing relationships or even married.  

This is why it is always recommended that you text for a few days, and then meet.  If an hour or two away, two weeks at most.  This turkey gave you plenty of warning when he never replied to your first invite to meet.  

I understand you not be attracted to 'nice' guys, I used to be the same.  I always went for the bad boy.    But you get hurt enough it gets old.  You decide you want more for yourself that you deserve that.  

Chin up okay?  Hugs.

 

Edited November 14, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[ExpatInItaly]

36 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

i kinda figured he was never interested, the first time i suggested meeting up he didn’t even reply. i just don’t get why he would continue to talk to me if he never had intentions of meeting me

Again, I seriously wonder whether he's even single. 

He could be looking for some side-action but disappears when his girlfriend catches on that something is up or sees a message from another woman come through on his phone. 

[GoodVibess]

21 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

I am sorry it did not work out @GoodVibess   but this happens all the time with on line.  People text due to boredom, ego stroke, lonely, need for attention and entertainment.  Many people are already in existing relationships or even married.  

This is why it is always recommended that you text for a few days, and then meet.  If an hour or two away, two weeks at most.  This turkey gave you plenty of warning when he never replied to your first invite to meet.  

I understand you not be attracted to 'nice' guys, I used to be the same.  I always went for the bad boy.    But you get hurt enough it gets old.  You decide you want more for yourself that you deserve that.  

Chin up okay?  Hugs.

 

thank you and yes i wanted to meet after 2 weeks but he never replied the first time and the second time he was out of town. He was the one who wasn’t available to meet me. I just never had this happen to me, he was the first guy i’ve been very patient with. But I guess I was right, he has so many women on his instagram and I confronted him about that he said they’re just friends. 

[GoodVibess]

6 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Again, I seriously wonder whether he's even single. 

He could be looking for some side-action but disappears when his girlfriend catches on that something is up or sees a message from another woman come through on his phone. 

he told me he has been single for 2 years now. he was never consistent in communication, i would mostly have to initiate. It just sucks how he blocked me the day of the meet up, instead of earlier. He never asked for anything inappropriate either or sex.

[princessaurora]

There's nothing wrong with wanting to hook up and have fun, but like others have said, you can still do so in a way that isn't disrepectful towards yourself. A guy that wants to meet you at a mall without even a specific location sounds like a 15 yr old, not a grown man. I know you like the bad boys. as I'm married to one,  but there has to be some middle ground. There are nice guys who happen to be attractive too and there are rebellious men who still know how to treat a lady.  I used to know a guy who was hotter than the sun but the values his parents instilled in him and his siblings growing up stuck and he was always kind and respectable to everyone including his love interests. My oldest daughter's boyfriend looks like an A list movie star, but he treats her and our family with nothing but respect.  I also knew bonafide bb's that treated their women like gold.  ONS or casual sex does not mean you should accept being treated like a free prostitute or a girl on stand by.  And this bozo claims he's been single for 2 years, but he likes to sin on Sundays? His definition of single apparently means not committed to anyone but he'll bang a new girl every weekend. Start commanding respect, set your standards a bit higher, and you will attract a much better caliber of men.  

 

[chillii]

5 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

turns out he blocked me the hour after i sent that message. this sucks 

Well , if you don't want a decent guy and your just looking for fun then it goes both ways and this is what you'll get. lf l'd known that to start l wouldn't have even replied to the thread myself.

Edited November 14, 2021 by chillii

[smackie9]

On 11/13/2021 at 8:20 AM, GoodVibess said:

I have been talking to a guy for a whole month now it has been very very difficult to meet up.

This right there is every reason to have walked away...after the first week of texting. This is and was a waste of time. Stop doing this.

[GoodVibess]

37 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

This right there is every reason to have walked away...after the first week of texting. This is and was a waste of time. Stop doing this.

you’re right, i was seriously going to after the second week but he continued saying how he was definitely gonna make time for me in november. so i believed it.

[smackie9]

Ya remember this....actions speak louder than words.

[JRabbit]

19 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

. He was the one who wasn’t available to meet me. I just never had this happen to me, he was the first guy i’ve been very patient with. But I guess I was right, he has so many women on his instagram and I confronted him about that he said they’re just friends. 

Look up avoidant types....sounds like he may fit the bill.  He wants to know he can have you but then runs off when the possibility actually arises.

Could be married or not single. Could be scared. Could be bored. People do these things for many reasons, best not to take it personally and realize you dodged a bullet.

[Alpacalia]

15 hours ago, chillii said:

Well , if you don't want a decent guy and your just looking for fun then it goes both ways and this is what you'll get. lf l'd known that to start l wouldn't have even replied to the thread myself.

I'm sorry things didn't work out, but I agree with the opinions expressed above.

Some of your comments make it unclear what you were hoping to gain from this.

Perhaps, as you mentioned in a prior comment, you wanted just a "bit of fun."

Which, it sounded like he did too.

Sometimes when we don't know what we want, it can interfere with our interactions with others and the type of person that we choose to spend our time on, which may have been the case here. If you're constantly being flaked on, which you said tends to happen to you a lot, it might be something to consider.

On 11/13/2021 at 5:26 PM, GoodVibess said:

i don’t see myself dating this dude to be honest…he already gives me hoe vibes. but he is pretty fine lol 

On 11/13/2021 at 5:27 PM, GoodVibess said:

well i’m not looking to date him though, him and i wouldn’t be compatible. 

 

Edited November 15, 2021 by Alpaca

[Versacehottie]

Yeah i agree with the above^^^  if you make your intentions and goals more clear to yourself at a minimum it will inform the choices you make and how you play things. I think this was a bit muddled TBH.  Though some of it will always be out of your control because another person is involved and what their course will be.  What you can always do is learn from the situation and change up what you will do and how the next time.  There's room for improvement on your side IMO--not saying this as a put down.  I would start will healthy self esteem type things for one. And ironically how you improve that (and not be up for this b.s) is by proactively making decisions for yourself that take your closer to your goals for your life.  Thus, this situation itself provides that opportunity.  Even if it did not go how you wanted it, you can go BACK through the sequence of events and see where you might have played it differently and why.  I think that would be helpful.

Sure people will tell you to focus on how this guy is an a**, user, etc etc but in life you will always meet people who are going to test all this stuff.  What gets you through that and managing it your best is increasing your self-esteem.   When you have good self-esteem you can also up your ability to "see" that someone's purposes aren't aligned with your own AND be sure in your mind that your life will be fine/better moving forward without that person (because you will find others and that person is too much drama or a headache for you). 

[stillafool]

20 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

he told me he has been single for 2 years now. he was never consistent in communication, i would mostly have to initiate. It just sucks how he blocked me the day of the meet up, instead of earlier. He never asked for anything inappropriate either or sex.

This is how players operate.  He knows he's good looking and girls are climbing over each other to be with him.  You yourself said you mostly had to initiate, knew he wasn't that interested but still wanted to see and be with him "to have a little fun".  So you like the other girls end up chasing him.

22 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

i have to be attracted both physically and emotionally, and those “nice guys” i have zero attraction to.

As long as you feel this way about "nice guys", you can expect more or this":

21 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

turns out he blocked me the hour after i sent that message. this sucks 

Players have too many options and pick and chose as they want.

[stillafool]

How old is this guy?

[GoodVibess]

4 hours ago, stillafool said:

How old is this guy?

he’s 24 and very handsome lol 

[GoodVibess]

4 hours ago, stillafool said:

This is how players operate.  He knows he's good looking and girls are climbing over each other to be with him.  You yourself said you mostly had to initiate, knew he wasn't that interested but still wanted to see and be with him "to have a little fun".  So you like the other girls end up chasing him.

As long as you feel this way about "nice guys", you can expect more or this":

Players have too many options and pick and chose as they want.

oh for sure his instagram is filled with different women he called himself a ladies man. i wasn’t attractive enough to be on top lol . he is just very handsome if you saw his pics you would agree. all my friends agreed he was never gonna fall for me.

Edited November 15, 2021 by GoodVibess

[GoodVibess]

4 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

Yeah i agree with the above^^^  if you make your intentions and goals more clear to yourself at a minimum it will inform the choices you make and how you play things. I think this was a bit muddled TBH.  Though some of it will always be out of your control because another person is involved and what their course will be.  What you can always do is learn from the situation and change up what you will do and how the next time.  There's room for improvement on your side IMO--not saying this as a put down.  I would start will healthy self esteem type things for one. And ironically how you improve that (and not be up for this b.s) is by proactively making decisions for yourself that take your closer to your goals for your life.  Thus, this situation itself provides that opportunity.  Even if it did not go how you wanted it, you can go BACK through the sequence of events and see where you might have played it differently and why.  I think that would be helpful.

Sure people will tell you to focus on how this guy is an a**, user, etc etc but in life you will always meet people who are going to test all this stuff.  What gets you through that and managing it your best is increasing your self-esteem.   When you have good self-esteem you can also up your ability to "see" that someone's purposes aren't aligned with your own AND be sure in your mind that your life will be fine/better moving forward without that person (because you will find others and that person is too much drama or a headache for you). 

i told him what i’m looking for, at first he said he wasn’t looking for fun because sex is more meaningful when you love the person. he claims he wants to fall in love.

[ExpatInItaly]

On 11/14/2021 at 7:03 PM, GoodVibess said:

he told me he has been single for 2 years now. he was never consistent in communication, i would mostly have to initiate. It just sucks how he blocked me the day of the meet up, instead of earlier. He never asked for anything inappropriate either or sex.

He can tell you anythign he wants. 

Unless and until you meet and spend time with someone, there is no way of knowing if they're telling the truth. His behaviour is shady and makes me wonder if he has a girlfriend already - but as you said you wouldn't want to date him anyway, let this be further confirmation that he's a dud. 

[GoodVibess]

4 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

He can tell you anythign he wants. 

Unless and until you meet and spend time with someone, there is no way of knowing if they're telling the truth. His behaviour is shady and makes me wonder if he has a girlfriend already - but as you said you wouldn't want to date him anyway, let this be further confirmation that he's a dud. 

the thing is based on his actions it turned me off to possibly have wanted a relationship with him. that is why i wanted to see how he was in person but he never gave me the chance after weeks of asking to hang out. i was even gonna drive closer to him but he just chose to vanish.

Edited November 15, 2021 by GoodVibess

[stillafool]

2 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

the thing is based on his actions it turned me off to possibly have wanted a relationship with him. that is why i wanted to see how he was in person but he never gave me the change after weeks of asking to hang out. i was even gonna drive closer to him but he just chose to vanish.

It's probably because your post sounds like you've been chasing him.  Men who have a lot of options don't fall for women who chase and are too eager.  They want to do the chasing.

[stillafool]

6 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

i told him what i’m looking for, at first he said he wasn’t looking for fun because sex is more meaningful when you love the person. he claims he wants to fall in love.

He probably does but did he say with YOU?

[GoodVibess]

1 minute ago, stillafool said:

It's probably because your post sounds like you've been chasing him.  Men who have a lot of options don't fall for women who chase and are too eager.  They want to do the chasing.

he would have never chased me if he’s handsome and can get any women he wants. 

[Girl Fade Away]

12 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

he’s 24 and very handsome lol 

Are you certain his photos were real?  When I on line dated, I had men sending me pics of professional models, my friends and I are pretty savvy internet operators and one time when I strongly suspected the pic was fake, we found the pics on another website showcasing professional male models.  Which is another reason why people end up flaking before the meet, they are total frauds, they upload fake pics or old pics when younger, in better shape, etc so please be aware of that, it is fairly common.

Edited November 15, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[GoodVibess]

1 minute ago, Girl Fade Away said:

Are you certain his photos were real?  When I on line dated, I had men sending me pics of professional models, my friends and I are pretty savvy internet operators and one time when I strongly suspected the pic was fake, we found the pics on another website showcasing professional male models.  Which is another reason why people end up flaking before the meet, they are total frauds so please be aware of that, it is fairly common.

he is definitely real, we snapped each other almost daily. he wasn’t a model but had a really nice face. 

[GoodVibess]

16 minutes ago, stillafool said:

He probably does but did he say with YOU?

not with me since he vanished ‍, i feel we were in different paths. i’m way better in person than texting, i even prefer calls too. if he was seriously looking for that i feel this was a missed opportunity since we never met in person or even video called.

Edited November 15, 2021 by GoodVibess