BJP1991 Posted November 10, 2021 Posted November 10, 2021 (edited) So one of my best mates has a problem. His GF of 2 years cheated on him about 5 months back. Poor guy, I personally never saw it coming but oh well. He is dating a new girl and I met her, but I don’t think they are very serious. Today he calls me on my lunch break. He found out his cheating ex is dating some new guy and he tells me he feels like messaging this dude on IG outing her as a cheater and a liar. He also goes on to say he feels like contacting her out of rage and anger. I tell him he needs to take the high road and never contact her. I feel really awful for the guy. I know it’s wrong to contact him or her. But I could imagine why he would want to. Heading to see him for a beer later on and chill for a bit. Any advice? Is there ever a time where lashing out could make you feel better? His words were “to remind her of who she is”, but I can only imagine it would open the worst type of can of worms. Edited November 10, 2021 by BJP1991 Needed to make more clear to readers
Foxhall Posted November 10, 2021 Posted November 10, 2021 7 minutes ago, BJP1991 said: He is dating a new girl and I met her, Let it go and get on with his life, hes not the first person ever cheated on- thats life. anger and resentment only brings yourself down.
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2021 Posted November 10, 2021 (edited) His feelings are normal but they don't mean he should act on them. When l figured my ex was a chronic cheater, for months l had thoughts of busting his tires and painting a huge penis on his truck. .....the feeling passed, it always does. He needs to understand all this is out of his hands now, let them live their life and he needs to concentrate on his. Edited November 10, 2021 by Gaeta 1 1
bene Posted November 11, 2021 Posted November 11, 2021 Let’s be honest, the intention is never to sincerely warn the new guy/girl but to get back at the ex. While it may be tempting, it will probably backfire and you will come across as the crazy ex (“see, I told you he was controlling and insane”). There is not much to be gained here, let strangers make their own mistakes. The only case where warning others is appropriate is something criminal like domestic abuse etc. 2
Wiseman2 Posted November 11, 2021 Posted November 11, 2021 13 hours ago, BJP1991 said: Is there ever a time where lashing out could make you feel better? I can only imagine it would open the worst type of can of worms. You gave him good advice to let it go. Is this the same woman?:
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2021 Posted November 11, 2021 (edited) 18 hours ago, BJP1991 said: So one of my best mates has a problem. His GF of 2 years cheated on him about 5 months back. Poor guy, I personally never saw it coming but oh well. He is dating a new girl and I met her, but I don’t think they are very serious. Today he calls me on my lunch break. He found out his cheating ex is dating some new guy and he tells me he feels like messaging this dude on IG outing her as a cheater and a liar. He also goes on to say he feels like contacting her out of rage and anger. I tell him he needs to take the high road and never contact her. I feel really awful for the guy. I know it’s wrong to contact him or her. But I could imagine why he would want to. Heading to see him for a beer later on and chill for a bit. Any advice? Is there ever a time where lashing out could make you feel better? His words were “to remind her of who she is”, but I can only imagine it would open the worst type of can of worms. You were cheated on also no? So with your experience, you advise him on how you handled it. Tip: when you lash out at them, they win. They don't feel remorse, just empowerment that they know you are still thinking about them. There's a lot of strength in moving forward and leaving it all behind. Also warning the new BF, she's just gonna glaze over it as psycho ex BF stuff. They never believe the outsider anyways. Edited November 11, 2021 by smackie9 2
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