kendahke Posted November 10, 2021 Posted November 10, 2021 1 hour ago, JRabbit said: it is simply not true. It might not be your reality, but it is a reality... it is true for some people. 2
ShyViolet Posted November 10, 2021 Posted November 10, 2021 I think the reason he was persisting might be that you were sending very mixed messages. You need to make up your mind. If you decide that you don't want to see someone anymore, be clear about that and then stick to it. Don't flip-flop. 2
spiderowl Posted November 10, 2021 Posted November 10, 2021 From what you say, babybrowns, I see no evidence whatsoever that this guy has any sensitivity towards you. He is just playing games. He thinks you are a challenge and so he will push boundaries (randomly, when he feels like it) to see if he can get anywhere with you. He is not admitting to only wanting casual because he knows it's a 'no no' with you. That's all he is interested in though, the conquest. He tried to come and stay with you. Thankfully, you had the common sense to resist his attempt to get close without the effort of dating you and treating you. I am glad you blocked him. The guy didn't even buy you a coffee on the first date, even as a friend. He wants something for nothing and sees your feelings only as an obstacle to him getting what he wants. He is not capable of empathy. 1
Maldives Posted November 11, 2021 Posted November 11, 2021 Because this guy thinks no means yes lol. Definatley give him the big flick
balletomane Posted November 11, 2021 Posted November 11, 2021 BB, I think a big part of the problem is that you seem to think you can talk and persuade men into wanting what you want. To your mind, once you've told someone you're not interested in a casual arrangement, him continuing to talk to you must be a sign that he's willing to consider more. It isn't necessarily that. It could be a sign that he hasn't listened to or respected what you told him. You've also said that he has good qualities that are hard to find, which is why you're reluctant to move on. But you have said similar things about other men you've dated - that you felt a special connection, you were very good friends after just a week or two and you don't understand how it could have fizzled out, and so on. It seems that you will often become convinced that a man has a rare and special quality based on a very short acquaintance. You've said yourself that you become too attached too soon, and this is part of it. You need to recognise the pattern. Date local men. Don't spend hours texting or initiating intense conversations about what you want a relationship to look like. Just go out for fun, have a nice time, and see how things grow from there. 3
Wiseman2 Posted November 11, 2021 Posted November 11, 2021 44 minutes ago, balletomane said: Date local men. Don't spend hours texting or initiating intense conversations about what you want a relationship to look like. Agree. Trying to build rapport through texting and seeking out distance situations gives you a false sense of things. Obviously he thought you were down for hooking up because you were overinvesting and that's a sign of an easy target. The irony is that your defensive game of texting, stalling, not meeting in a timely fashion,etc. is creating faux rapport that you feel is safer or a prelude to a relationship. But...the men you're talking to seem to think "Cool, texting is cheap, easy, lazy so getting in her pants will be a no-brainer" . And that's because you're accepting this texting-in-lieu-of-dating nonsense. 1 1
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted November 11, 2021 Posted November 11, 2021 On 11/9/2021 at 4:41 PM, babybrowns said: after finding out I’m not in the ‘casual boat’, why did he still try to push things in that direction? Because your words and actions were saying two different things. When you didn't move on and made the choice to keep talking to him, he saw that as there still being a chance of getting what he wants. 3 2
dramafreezone Posted November 12, 2021 Posted November 12, 2021 21 hours ago, Goodguy05 said: Because this guy thinks no means yes lol. Definatley give him the big flick Well she's given him reason to believe that. 1
Lauriebell82 Posted December 1, 2021 Posted December 1, 2021 (edited) Because some guys get turned on (or more turned on) by what they can’t have and love chasing after girls who are making themselves unavailable. Its like a sick game. Once they have them, its like the game is done and they are bored stiff. He may have also thought he could probably get into your pants too. Your mistake was to engage him at all. But hey its a learning experience. Next time trust your initial instincts and stay away from guys like this! Edited December 1, 2021 by Lauriebell82
dramafreezone Posted December 1, 2021 Posted December 1, 2021 47 minutes ago, Lauriebell82 said: Because some guys get turned on (or more turned on) by what they can’t have and love chasing after girls who are making themselves unavailable. Its like a sick game. Once they have them, its like the game is done and they are bored stiff. Well this is people, not just guys. It's human nature to covet what we can't have. 1
I_forgot_my_usernam3 Posted December 26, 2021 Posted December 26, 2021 honestly he just seems insane lol and unable to accept social ques. even a normal casual seeking guy would try once and then give up if the girl doesn't give in.
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