cablinasian019 Posted November 8, 2021 Posted November 8, 2021 (edited) I was dating a woman earlier this year who is divorced with a couple kids and we went on a few nice dates. Then she pulled the I want to be friends card while complimenting me how I treated her on the dates. She said her divorce is not finalized which I wish she had told me from the beginning. We texted for a few more weeks then I haven’t heard from her in about a month. I tried to reach her a few times since then with no response. I’m going to assume it’s a legal issue why she can’t contact me at this point because she’s fighting for custody of her kids and her ex husband is using the dating against her. I’m trying to erase her from my head right now even though it hurts because we had a great time on the dates. I think going no contact is my only option now? Edited November 8, 2021 by cablinasian019
Wiseman2 Posted November 8, 2021 Posted November 8, 2021 4 minutes ago, cablinasian019 said: . She said her divorce is not finalized which I wish she had told me from the beginning. We texted for a few more weeks then I haven’t heard from her in about a month. Sorry this happened. She's married and in the throes of divorce. Not in a good place to date. A couple of dates isn't a huge investment so stop texting. She needs a therapist and attorney, not a BF. Delete and block her from all your social media and messaging apps. Move forward knowing more about not dating unavailable people. 2
chillii Posted November 8, 2021 Posted November 8, 2021 Not only in a terrible time to be seeing other people , but she told you she only wants to be friends in other words she's not interested. So why were you still even bothering for wks after anyway and now a thread ? 1
elaine567 Posted November 8, 2021 Posted November 8, 2021 2 hours ago, cablinasian019 said: . I’m going to assume it’s a legal issue why she can’t contact me at this point because she’s fighting for custody of her kids and her ex husband is using the dating against her. Why on earth would you assume that? She is done with you. Move on. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2021 Posted November 8, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, cablinasian019 said: I’m going to assume it’s a legal issue why she can’t contact me at this point because she’s fighting for custody of her kids and her ex husband is using the dating against her. Or...she is just not into you that way anymore and is hoping you take the hint. Going No Contact is your only option, considering she has already done so and is not replying to you. You need to leave this one behind you. Edited November 8, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 1
Happy Lemming Posted November 8, 2021 Posted November 8, 2021 2 hours ago, cablinasian019 said: I tried to reach her a few times since then with no response. As a general rule, if I am dating someone and they don't respond to two of my voicemail messages (24 hours apart), I assume that person no longer wants to date me & I move on. Time to move on... 2
Girl Fade Away Posted November 8, 2021 Posted November 8, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, cablinasian019 said: Then she pulled the I want to be friends card while complimenting me how I treated her on the dates. On a leap, are you confused because she complimented you on how well you treated her on dates but now only wants to be friends? Please understand that treating a woman nicely on dates is fine but it does not mean she was sexually and romantically attracted to you which is what I think YOU think it meant so now you are confused? Two entirely different things. Nice does not automatically translate to attraction. That does not mean stop being nice, women appreciate nice, but best to learn that attraction is a separate thing. You can also have fun time while on a date without being romantically attracted, I have many times. Agree with everyone else, if a friendship would not work, no contact is best. Edited November 8, 2021 by Girl Fade Away
smackie9 Posted November 8, 2021 Posted November 8, 2021 I think you got a little too invested, and she felt that. She gave you a shot, and that was it. When they start singing a bunch of excuses, it's a not interested. Move on. This happened months ago, and you are still upset about it.....maybe learn to keep your emotions in check. Being too eager/intense can turn them off.
ShyViolet Posted November 8, 2021 Posted November 8, 2021 7 hours ago, cablinasian019 said: I’m going to assume it’s a legal issue why she can’t contact me at this point because she’s fighting for custody of her kids and her ex husband is using the dating against her. No. She's not contacting you because she's not interested. Her actions couldn't be more clear. Accept that and leave this woman alone. 2
mark clemson Posted November 8, 2021 Posted November 8, 2021 Right. When someone says they're not interested, generally they're not interested. Take the hint. If they come back you can wonder if they're a "game player" who will pull the same thing again. Not always, but often IMO. So another good reason not to get overly attached. Bottom line is she knows how to get in touch with you if she wanted to. Let the lady sort out her life in peace.
Lotsgoingon Posted November 9, 2021 Posted November 9, 2021 Her compliment wasn't her meaning. Her meaning was she sees you as a friend. Let me translate. That means she doesn't want to date you, not now and not next month and no time conceivably in the future. And her words mean she's so sure about her decision that she needs to tell you that you will only be a friend. Your job at that point was to say "well good luck" and be on your way. What is this craziness about expecting her to respond? Someone doesn't want to date you--rules it out so blatantly--you don't want to talk to them. 1
Recommended Posts