teenidle13 Posted November 7, 2021 Posted November 7, 2021 Disclaimer: english is not my first language so i might make some mistakes... forgive me! So, i broke up with him one week ago because i thought that he was being disrespectful and i felt like it was the last straw for me. He was/is somewhat of an emotional unavailable guy... he committed to me after 6 months and told me he loved me after one year and i never complained, i always gave him the space he desired and when we hit those milestones i was were happy. The fact is: he always showed mixed feelings and actions towards me. He claimed that he loved me but 1) would not say that very often, and thats ok 2) he would put minimal effort in looking interested in me, and that's what killed me. In person he looked almost bored when we were alone, never shared a big and special moment together, we always hung out with his friends. He was not that cuddly but would kiss me and all, s3x was awesome. I met his parents and no one before me ever did that, because his past relationships didn't end very well. He wasn't fond of compromises, didn't understand why i would feel hurt sometimes by his words, i ALWAYS gave him multiple chances and then he would do same mistakes over again... always talked about other girls on top of it all. Even his close female friends. His s3x drive is very high and wanted to sleep with everyone, and would talk to me about it SO often. One time he almost seemed jealous about this very close friend of his that recently started dating another dude because "he doesn't deserve sleeping with her because i wanted that for longer". The irony is that what really ruined our relationship, is the fact that i had one male friend and he was SO jealous. That event lead to 2 months of coldness, and i never recovered i guess. Now i broke up with him because i had enough, but clearly i'm struggling. He seemed devastated but said that he knew he made mistakes and that it's the right decision for me to quit if i feel bad, that he wants to improve... He also said that he is very attached to me and hopes we can be together again in the future, after a period of reflection. So the NC started but i felt very bad, and texted him after 4 days. I wanted to give him another chance, but he was clearly hurt by the fact that i reached out with this new option after i dumped him. After some thinking, he explained that he can't give me what i want right now and should stay separated for now, he needs to reflect deeply and be alone for a while because he knows he's not good with feelings. He knows very well that in the future i might not be there again for him, and it devastates him, because he has feelings for me. Now we're on NC again but i feel like in a limbo. I always believe that people can change, but what should i do? Should i keep hope? I feel a little bit better but i don't do well with uncertainty. Should i wait for a text in the future or make the first move? I'm tired of crawling back to him... Help!
Author teenidle13 Posted November 12, 2021 Author Posted November 12, 2021 Thank you so much RelationshipTechnician! That's a very useful answer. There's a little update... two days ago i went to his house to pick up some things i left there, and i saw him in a shocking state. He was pale, skinnier, with deep eye bags. His face had a skin irritation and told me he developed an eye tic caused by stress. I didnt expect this at all. I was actually pretty normal that day, almost energetic and the contrast was obvious. I wonder why he treated me like sh*t in the past just to be left and suffer like that... i think i will never get it.
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