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Posted

My Husband likes to drink every weekend, both nights, he starts after work on a Friday,  then starts again on Saturday evening. We both work full time and have 3 teenage boys. Life is busy and the weekends are the only time we have to spend together. I'm a social drinker and wouldn't really drink at home. I have asked my husband for a while now if we could do something together one of the nights and the other he can drink..... He's never agreed to this until a few weeks ago..... It lasted one weekend then he said I was trying to control him and he wanted to drink both nights. This is causing a real strain on our marriage and I feel like he doesn't care about what I want or need. Am I being unreasonable to want one night at the weekend together with no drink??
 

Posted

Does he get drunk? Obnoxious? Violent? Has he always done this or is this a recent phenomenon? 
 

As far as you both wanting to do different things on weekend nights, that’s not entirely uncommon. You suggested a pretty good compromise, which he didn’t want to do. How about you do something during the day Saturday? Go to a farmers market or a matinee? 
 

If he still doesn’t want to do anything, there may be something deeper going on like maybe he has social anxiety or something. Could be depressed and self medicating etc.

Posted
6 hours ago, Lou m said:

My Husband likes to drink every weekend, both nights, he starts after work on a Friday,  then starts again on Saturday evening. We both work full time and have 3 teenage boys.

Get info and support from Al-Anon. See if your situation fits the criteria of "problem drinking".

https://al-anon.org/newcomers/self-quiz/adult-quiz/

Posted

How much does he drink on the weekend?

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Posted

No, you are not being unreasonable. Drinking, should be way below spending time with you.

I wish you luck.

 

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Posted

I'm a bit confused, why is drinking mutually exclusive with spending time together that night? What exactly are you planning to do together that requires him to be 100% sober? Lots of couples manage to do both.... unless when you say "drinking" you mean he's literally knocking drinks back continuously, rather than doing it with dinner or some other activity?

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