Lou m Posted November 6, 2021 Posted November 6, 2021 My Husband likes to drink every weekend, both nights, he starts after work on a Friday, then starts again on Saturday evening. We both work full time and have 3 teenage boys. Life is busy and the weekends are the only time we have to spend together. I'm a social drinker and wouldn't really drink at home. I have asked my husband for a while now if we could do something together one of the nights and the other he can drink..... He's never agreed to this until a few weeks ago..... It lasted one weekend then he said I was trying to control him and he wanted to drink both nights. This is causing a real strain on our marriage and I feel like he doesn't care about what I want or need. Am I being unreasonable to want one night at the weekend together with no drink??
Weezy1973 Posted November 6, 2021 Posted November 6, 2021 Does he get drunk? Obnoxious? Violent? Has he always done this or is this a recent phenomenon? As far as you both wanting to do different things on weekend nights, that’s not entirely uncommon. You suggested a pretty good compromise, which he didn’t want to do. How about you do something during the day Saturday? Go to a farmers market or a matinee? If he still doesn’t want to do anything, there may be something deeper going on like maybe he has social anxiety or something. Could be depressed and self medicating etc.
Wiseman2 Posted November 6, 2021 Posted November 6, 2021 6 hours ago, Lou m said: My Husband likes to drink every weekend, both nights, he starts after work on a Friday, then starts again on Saturday evening. We both work full time and have 3 teenage boys. Get info and support from Al-Anon. See if your situation fits the criteria of "problem drinking". https://al-anon.org/newcomers/self-quiz/adult-quiz/
understand50 Posted November 7, 2021 Posted November 7, 2021 No, you are not being unreasonable. Drinking, should be way below spending time with you. I wish you luck. 1
Els Posted November 9, 2021 Posted November 9, 2021 I'm a bit confused, why is drinking mutually exclusive with spending time together that night? What exactly are you planning to do together that requires him to be 100% sober? Lots of couples manage to do both.... unless when you say "drinking" you mean he's literally knocking drinks back continuously, rather than doing it with dinner or some other activity?
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