Author Astanapane Posted November 10, 2021 Author Posted November 10, 2021 9 minutes ago, BaileyB said: This, is what you need to understand about yourself. Because the truth is, we all know people who are attractive to us but we go about our day if they are committed to another or not interested for whatever reason. The fact that you perseverate on THIS man is what you need to understand. Two things to - feelings are just that, feelings. They are by their very nature, fleeting. If you attend to them, they stay. If you distract yourself, they will eventually go away… That’s why choosing your thoughts is so important. You have a feeling, and you tell yourself that it is something - something you want to pursue, something you are missing, something that you have lost. When you perseverate on that thought, it becomes a hard wired pattern and it gives that feeling/thought more importance than it should have. Distract yourself, shut those thoughts down, challenge your thinking (ie, what I want for my life is a man who is available to love me and have a relationship - this man was not the right one), and you will move past this. Yes this exactly how I understand it and need to work on it as you perfectly word it for me. It’s hard but it is definitely something I can overcome as most of us can with determination. I’m looking forward to this challenge and hope he’s out of my mind very soon because it’s driving me crazy! I’m sure it’s blessing in disguise that he moved away. Otherwise he would be too close for comfort and my desires would be strong and uncontrollable. Thank you.
stillafool Posted November 10, 2021 Posted November 10, 2021 Don't you have any single men in your life pursuing you? You should be so tied up with them that you don't have time for some married man.
BaileyB Posted November 10, 2021 Posted November 10, 2021 2 hours ago, Astanapane said: I’m sure it’s blessing in disguise that he moved away. Otherwise he would be too close for comfort and my desires would be strong and uncontrollable. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have no control here. You have complete control - of your thoughts and your actions. Sure, you feel what you feel but whether you chose to act on those feelings is ENTIRELY your decision.
Author Astanapane Posted November 10, 2021 Author Posted November 10, 2021 2 hours ago, BaileyB said: Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have no control here. You have complete control - of your thoughts and your actions. Sure, you feel what you feel but whether you chose to act on those feelings is ENTIRELY your decision. Yes I understand this logic. I’m also thinking he probably timed our date just before he moved as to not make it serious. An easy fling type of thing.
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