sooooohurt Posted October 20, 2005 Posted October 20, 2005 Hi everyone I have been doing NC with my MM for 10 days!!! However he turned up last night v upset it is his brothers funeral today and wanted someone to talk to, to help him get through today. I got very angry and said he should turn to W not to me and leave me alone…………… but when I saw his face I couldn’t turn him away. I am experienced in helping people through these types of traumas so yeah I helped him in the end. I just don’t get it, why come to me???? Why not go to W??? shes not even attending the funeral as she doesn’t approve of his family. In a way I was happy but then angry I was happy. AAAAArrrgggghhh why cant he get out of my head. In the end he thanked me with tears in his eyes and went
curly Posted October 20, 2005 Posted October 20, 2005 is this not the reason we have been in their lives anyway? As cake....... We, the OW's, serve a purpose. We fill the void for them. They are not capable of facing their problems directly. So they look outside for fulfillment. And we let them. That's the problem. If we didn't give in - and I mean that in the nicest way because in a lot ways we love unconditionally - if we didn't give in to our loves, they would need to seek solace within themselves or someone else. That's why they come back. And that's why we continue to love....... Vicious circle.
Hot Coco Posted October 20, 2005 Posted October 20, 2005 Don't beat yourself up over it. It's a good question but you've already done what you did. Just because you are a compassionate person doesn't mean you're stupid or did the wrong thing. I'd just go back on NC now. No harm done.
Katch22 Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 Well, we live in Florida and if you watched the news you can see that were all getting ready for a visit from "WILMA" and my mm is a government employee and it comes with a lot a perks of dating him and now I through him out of my life and just might need him over the next few days but I'm gonna wait to see if he calls or comes by first. So NC is absolutely cruel right now but it's the best thing for me!! Talk to ya soon Katch:bunny:
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