Ami1uwant Posted October 30, 2021 Posted October 30, 2021 7 hours ago, sliticy said: So this girl i have been exclusivly dating for 2 months now have been getting more and more annoying lately. I really like her and i am not fully sure if she feels the same way, even though she has told me she likes me a lot. One of the problems is her not taking enough initiative and another is her texting habits which i will get back to. At first i was fine with her not taking initiative to set up dates cause i know men are expected to do it atleast the first couple dates. But it's been 2 months and nothing changed. Examples of stuff that is annoying me are: she never asks me to hangout or do something, she texts me first sometimes everyday but it's never about something serious, it's always about something completely useless and random like her tasting a new energy drink or something similiar (our main platform of communication is snapchat btw, so there is usually pictures being sent with captions), she also never takes initiative to kiss or have sex (but says she enjoys it a lot when we do it and from what i can tell she isn't lying). The only thing she does is offering her hand everytime we go out, which don't get me wrong i really like. But it's all the other things combined that just makes me so annoyed.. Also another very recent example of her texting is when she was travelling to her best guy friend in the netherlands and she told me she would send me a lot of pictures and videos from there. And guess what she ends up sending? a picture of a special redbull they got down there. And after that did not send me a single thing, didn't text me either (shes still not home until tomorrow) At this point i just don't know what to do. I really like her but there are just a lot of red flags. I really want to talk to her about this initiative thing but don't really know how that would go.. Idk maybe i am just needy. a relationship measuring stick I use is do they want to make an effort in wanting to date. If she us waiting for me to always plan things and she puts no effort says she’s using me. her texting behavior. There is no right ir wrong. Each person is different. Texting for me is purpose crime like asking a quick question. I have a large group of about 6-10 friends in text messages that we might gave a conversation that I might do. But in general if it’s a long conversation or talk about something I want to talk, not text. even Morse with Covid because of lityke personal interaction I get now since I live alone, don’t see my coworkers. The only time I’ve gather with peop,e has bern when I’ve travelled to visit family and sometimes a couple coworkers have come in. I have a few friends who have underage kids who can’t get vaxxed so I haven’t seen them.
Happy Lemming Posted October 30, 2021 Posted October 30, 2021 3 hours ago, dramafreezone said: Or maybe he's just a "bad boy" type and she finds it alluring that he doesn't bend over backwards to acquiesce to her. I think it's likely this. Yes... that is possible.
dramafreezone Posted October 30, 2021 Posted October 30, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, argoscard1999 said: Also, if she was a worldly type, she'd probably go with the person she's dating, right? Exactly. Did she even invite the OP to come? GFs are supposed to want to go on vacations *with* you. OP, at the very least she does not see you as highly as you see her. So how far can this go? You have to basically beg for intimacy? No bueno. Edited October 30, 2021 by dramafreezone 1
Alpacalia Posted October 31, 2021 Posted October 31, 2021 Agree with the others. If you're constantly feeling undesired while attempting to see things from their perspective, I'd say it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. 2
Versacehottie Posted October 31, 2021 Posted October 31, 2021 20 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: her texting behavior. There is no right ir wrong. Each person is different. totally agree with this! It just matters, OP, if it "works" for you. Like if it serves to attract you, pull you closer to her or push you away. I wouldn't put all my chips and decision making on just the aspect of texting....though to be fair, obviously, it's reflective of communication in general. I knew you were just emphasizing the energy drinks as an example--and got that basically you just were feeling unfulfilled and a surface feeling from all of her texts. Very self-aware & not defensive of you, OP, to realize that the trip with her guy friend could be making you feel some kind of way. I don't know if it have to rise to the level of traditional jealousy or a worry that she is cheating (that's such a one-dimensional explanation IMO)...my guess more is that it more likely sort of a envy that they have an emotional closeness or perceived closeness that you are struggling to get from her. I would just say it's somewhat early days (so you guys could get there) and/or that it literally might just be your perception (such as she may not have any more depth with a friend/guy friend than she does with you; I literally know people like this they can hang with people 24/7 but the quality of the conversations is very surface, not fake but insignificant). Anyway, I guess you need to reassess. I'd give it a little more time. Mention the initiating to her. And I would just say sometimes if you open up first (rather than expect a mind reading situation), it will cause the other person to open up too. Good luck 3
JRabbit Posted October 31, 2021 Posted October 31, 2021 I think you should stop using SnapChat and start texting or calling her. see what happens. I question a relationship that only communicates via snapchat. 1
spiderowl Posted November 4, 2021 Posted November 4, 2021 Maybe she is shy and that is why she isn't taking the initiative? Of more concern is her lame texting. Actually, she doesn't sound very bright. Perhaps that is why you are frustrated with her? Maybe she is just not capable of matching you intellectually. It is easy to miss the obvious if you are enjoying the sex.
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