Wiseman2 Posted October 28, 2021 Posted October 28, 2021 4 minutes ago, zpargo87 said: like scams for example. Agree. Don't exploit or be exploited. All you have to do is decide if you want a housewife type woman like your family or a woman that can contribute financially. What exactly is this medical problem and why won't the NHS and welfare department assistant you with that?
Author zpargo87 Posted October 28, 2021 Author Posted October 28, 2021 8 hours ago, dramafreezone said: Is there any reason why you can't work towards improving your financial situation? Maybe find work that doesn't require much physical stamina? I know it's 2021, but I don't think we're at a point where a woman is looking to have to supplement your income with hers to be comfortable. Most I've talked to say that they want a man who is already financially secure. I would say do what you can to maximize your earning potential before focusing on dating, just my opinion. It matters a lot. Otherwise, I don't know how selective you can afford to be. What else do you bring to the table? Any woman that is willing to date you is comparing you to everyone else she can date, so what do you have that makes you a better option? What if you find this hypothetical woman and SHE has a bad stretch to where her earning potential is affected? Finances need to account for the unexpected. If you can't support someone else, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship. So I started doing this as soon as I split up with the girl. I am doing exams. I realise that if I wanted to be with such a woman I will need to earn more but she didn't understand this. Quote Otherwise, I don't know how selective you can afford to be. What else do you bring to the table? Any woman that is willing to date you is comparing you to everyone else she can date, so what do you have that makes you a better option? So I've been in London over 5 years with a stable job. Financially I'm ok at the moment. Good looks. I don't have a house. But this is what I am trying to address currently. Well I think this is the thing with dating its about what you can get not necessarily man's choice. The woman has to say yes so this limits choices. But what I am finding is that only the women that feel desired want to date me so ones I am physcially attracted to but these tend not to be compartible. London is very expensive and alot of the girls I see and find attractive have lower paid jobs and you just can't survive like that in this city. To buy a home would be impossible and even more impossible if not a stable job.
Author zpargo87 Posted October 28, 2021 Author Posted October 28, 2021 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Agree. Don't exploit or be exploited. All you have to do is decide if you want a housewife type woman like your family or a woman that can contribute financially. What exactly is this medical problem and why won't the NHS and welfare department assistant you with that? Recovered from cancer 3.5 years ago. I am getting support but the mental effects are quite substantial and long standing.
dramafreezone Posted October 28, 2021 Posted October 28, 2021 6 hours ago, zpargo87 said: Recovered from cancer 3.5 years ago. I am getting support but the mental effects are quite substantial and long standing. Sorry to hear you're dealing with this but hope you are on the mend. And glad to hera you're taking exams to improve your career situation. Why not just date casually for now? I think that would be best, you find someone that is a joy to be around, who's supportive and kind to you, and who you want to be a better person for. Don't date as a race to get married. 1
Author zpargo87 Posted October 29, 2021 Author Posted October 29, 2021 Thanks - its a long journey to recovery. Yes hopefully the exam will do the trick. I've not had much success with casual dating to be honest but I could try. Dating is proving to be stressful and even harder in a pandemic for those that are more vulnerable to covid.
OatsAndHall Posted October 29, 2021 Posted October 29, 2021 I have to be honest... I don't even know how to begin unpacking all of this... I strongly suggest you learn how to be financially self-sufficient before even approaching a relationship. Nothing good can come out of approaching dating with the caveat of finding someone to support you. That's a recipe for disaster. 1
dramafreezone Posted October 29, 2021 Posted October 29, 2021 6 minutes ago, OatsAndHall said: I have to be honest... I don't even know how to begin unpacking all of this... I strongly suggest you learn how to be financially self-sufficient before even approaching a relationship. Nothing good can come out of approaching dating with the caveat of finding someone to support you. That's a recipe for disaster. Really no getting around this. Consistently what I've heard from women is "I want a man who is financially secure." I firmly believe no guy has to be rich, just have to have a steady, reliable source of income. Without that you're starting off behind the proverbial 8-ball. OP, you're in a competition, make no mistake about it. It's tough to hear but no date is going to care about your health history. They can admire your fortitude (which is a desirable trait) but it's just one trait. It doesn't mean they'll be attracted to you or want to date you, have sex with you, marry you, etc, you still have to check all of those other boxes. You're in a competition with a potential date's options. Subconsciously they weigh the pros and cons and pick the better option. That's why we build ourselves up to be the best versions of ourselves and just let the chips fall where they may. 2
OatsAndHall Posted October 29, 2021 Posted October 29, 2021 1 minute ago, dramafreezone said: Really no getting around this. Consistently what I've heard from women is "I want a man who is financially secure." I firmly believe no guy has to be rich, just have to have a steady, reliable source of income. Without that you're starting off behind the proverbial 8-ball. OP, you're in a competition, make no mistake about it. It's tough to hear but no date is going to care about your health history. They can admire your fortitude (which is a desirable trait) but it's just one trait. It doesn't mean they'll be attracted to you or want to date you, have sex with you, marry you, etc, you still have to check all of those other boxes. You're in a competition with a potential date's options. Subconsciously they weigh the pros and cons and pick the better option. That's why we build ourselves up to be the best versions of ourselves and just let the chips fall where they may. Financial stability was a must when I was dating. I dated women who were physician assistants as well as clerks at a Verizon store and their income didn't matter to me; the fact that we were on the same wavelength with respect to money did. And this certainly goes both ways.
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